BogusMeatFactory wrote:
I get you Luke, because I feel like you are me, but with a hell of a lot more style. I know it is tough, because you know you want kids. You are at a point in your life where you are ready and the fact that it is difficult to have them must drive you insane, because I know I would be driven crazy. I feel like everything you do and how you interact with the people close to you in your life helps fuel and drive you.
You want to be a teacher and you want to guide people and you want to lead by example and for that I salute you. Don't stop being you, because the world would be worse for it.
Thanks man.
Minutes after posting my post about the pool I heard my wife sobbing...hard. She seemed so happy playing with the kids at the pool, so I didn't think it would be an issue, but she was an absolute wreck. Completely inconsolable.
Domino effect.
How I can feel so angry while crying is a weird weird thing. It's a waste of energy, but I get angry that so many Mother's have children they don't deserve and that my wife doesn't have a child. Almost every parent on the Teen Mom series puts me in a rage (expect for that couple who gave up their baby for adoption. They look like they're trying hard to be gangstas, but they are young, and we all dressed goofy when we were young. Plus their hearts and brains are in the right place).
When I see a parent giving a baby a coca~cola to drink, I get infuriated. I see parents tell their kid to "get the fuck in the car and shut up" and I want to go postal. And no, I do not sit and sob and ask God "Why me God? Why my wife?", but I can't help but wonder at times "How did that anthropomorphized garbage get blessed with a child?". Well, I know the answer is "sex", but I think you get my point.
Doesn't help that the only family member who isn't constantly asking about babies is my Father. My own Mother has said to me "I'll pay for in vitro for you and your wife. You're making a huge mistake by not having kids". Pretty sure I come of as a brat when we visit my in-lawsas the first words out of my mouth are usually "No discussion about babies. Please". But I do it for my wife, as those discussions always end in tears.
Sorta kinda related...
My bible study group is quite diverse, and we have a new member.
And if you've read my posts on the subject of religion you probably already know I'm not really religious at all, but if religion helps put someone in a better and happier place, I'm all for it.
So the new "kid" is about 6'0, dreadlocks down to the middle of his spine, mahogany skin, athletic build, is twenty-six years of age, and has two kids. He also recently kicked both his Mother and Brother out of his own apartment. Both have serious drug issues and he finally decided that his children couldn't be around them.
...boy, I can't seem to shut up.
He's struggling something difficult with his decision, and although he shouldn't, I understand that his decision would be an incredibly tough one to make. And when everyone else cleared out of the study, he and I had a quick chat. His exact words were "I can't make heads or tails out of it Luke. That's Family. You don't turn your back on family, especially where I come from, you feel me?".
I placed a pen on the table and told him to think of the pen as a line. Placed my finger to the left of the pen and said "this is helping". Moved my finger to the right of the pen and said "this is enabling". Asked where he would fall on this "line", and he put his finger to the right of the pen. He doesn't realize that he's doing the best thing possible for his family by showing tough love because tough love isn't easy.
Not sure if the cliche of "Have to hit rock bottom to pick yourself up" is always true, but I do know that if you assist in one's destructive behavior and it leads to death, that guilt will stick to you like pine tar on a baseball bat. You never, ever, want that feeling of "I should've said or done something...anything".
So, good guy. He's made some mistakes as all of us do, but his head is screwed on correctly. He's looking to pursue a Masters in Sports Marketing (didn't knew that existed) but isn't the math wizard and asked for my help, which I will happily provide. He needs to earn a certain score on the GMAT (or it could be the GRE) and math is a good part of it.
I'm sure he'll get the score he needs.
: Yeah there are a lot of fucked up people out there that really don't deserve kids. When I was interning at the Prosecutor's office my senior year I dealt with a lot of juveniles and I just felt extremely sorry for them. Most weren't bad kids they were just stuck in shit situations thanks to bad or none present parents. It was and unpaid internship, but I was doing 40 hours a week for 3 months or so since I really wanted to get a feel if I wanted to go on to law school. Saw all sorts of shit. Unidentified babies dropped off on doorsteps by their mothers who just wanted to go party with little more then a note saying "this is your granddaughter" . Saw a foster parent who had adopted 8+ kids all of which were missing because she secretly adopted them out for cash and just continued collecting support checks till she was caught. Finally I got to watch a murderer walk free after his girlfriends young autistic son "fell down the stars" and was then tucked back in bed while suffocating in his own blood. What made it even better was the 50+ bruises this child had on his body from "walking into things" and the fact that the guy had a rap sheet a mile long. What was even better was the Mother never left him even got to see her the next time he had a hearing for assault charges a few weeks later 
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