Gaming and Marriage. Has it caused issues?

[Forlorn Drifter]

Reading this thread makes me never want to get married.

+1

[dogman91]

IMO, your wife is ridiculous and is pulling the "get rid of all but one system" out of her ass. As if that would really make things better. That 'criteria' can be replaced with just about anything.

You can ACTUALLY solve this by keeping everything and dedicating a speck more time to spend with her. She needs to get over the fact that you like games.

[J T]

Munchausen syndrome

Huh? How?

[jp1]

A LOT of assumptions being made about the wife here.

[bmoc]

Sometimes it only takes one game to become a problem. There are plenty of Everquest and WoW widows/widowers that can attest to that. Time management is going to be the key here as others have said.

[Jagosaurus]

Mrs Jagosaurus & I have been married for just under 5 years. We dated for 3 years before this. My gaming habits were much different when we dated. I was in "college mode" and binged on games with a mixture of beer & caffeine for hours on end.

When we got married I did a few main things to make it a more relationship friendly habit. While these aren't marital advice, I feel they're solid suggestions to meet in the middle assuming she likes books & TV:

• I took up handheld gaming to be in the same room as her more
• Curbbed my habits of all nighters, now play in 1-2 hour burst
• Bought her a tablet so she could read her e-books near me while I play consoles
• Recently, got a Sling Box so she can watch her TV shows by me on tablet
• Bought a pair of wireless headphones so I game silently while needed
• She likes a few casual series like Mario, Crash Bandicoot, & kart racers. I make an effort to invite her to play these games with me.
• I'm not big on TV but I make an effort to watch a few shows with her a week.

A mentor once told me "Marriage is not 50/50, it is 100/100. It takes everything from both of you."

Hope this helps in some way.

[Key-Glyph]

Reading this thread makes me never want to get married.

+1

You guys are getting the wrong message from this thread. Sharing your life and living space with any human being, whether it be a significant other, blood relative, friend, or roomate, is going to require sensitivity to others' needs. Compromising for the good of a group, in general, is not the world-ending anathema it's occasionally made out to be.

[Sarge]

The "one system" thing sounds more like she's trying to establish what's more important, her or the video games. I don't know that she's actually asking that. She's determining whether this is a relationship she feels she can stay in.

I'd hope there's somewhere she can compromise as well. I doubt it's just you.

If I were in that situation, of course, and it were the love of my life, I'd give it up in a heartbeat. Not saying it wouldn't hurt a bit, but if anything, marriage is built on mutual sacrifice.

[noiseredux]

Reading this thread makes me never want to get married.

+1

You guys are getting the wrong message from this thread. Sharing your life and living space with any human being, whether it be a significant other, blood relative, friend, or roomate, is going to require sensitivity to others' needs. Compromising for the good of a group, in general, is not the world-ending anathema it's occasionally made out to be.

Well said.

[Exhuminator]

I'd give it up in a heartbeat. Not saying it wouldn't hurt a bit, but if anything, marriage is built on mutual sacrifice.

How would you feel if your wife told you she didn't like your best friend Bob and you spend too much time golfing with him? And then she said you had to stop being friends with Bob because he's taking up too much of your time and she never liked Bob anyway. Despite the fact Bob is a friend you've had since childhood. Tough cookies, lose Bob or you lose me the wife says. Is that not a ridiculous demand? Well replace Bob with "Nintendo" and there you go.

If OP actually gave up video games completely to make his wife happy, he would still harbor repressed anger about the issue just beneath the surface. Chances are this would evolve into a whole new problem like intermittent anger disorder for him.

Spending too much time on a hobby at the expense of your wife is disrespectful. I agree. But trying to command absolute control of your husband's free time and personal hobbies is just as disrespectful. You guys who say you would just give in to your wife's demands no questions asked because love is more important than my own needs and la dee dah will slowly create a tyrant where your wife used to be.

Munchausen syndrome

Huh? How?

I was just seeing if anyone was actually paying attention.