Rest In Peace JewWario

[irixith]

but he is in a better place now.

Nothing against you, but this kind of sentiment always irks me as a form of public remembrance - especially for cases of suicide. He was in a place where people around him loved him and where there were options for help that he apparently opted not to take or that gave up on. Now he's not. Saying he's somewhere "better" supports the logic that taking one's life as a way to end suffering and get to heaven (a concept we don't even know if he believed in) is an understandable (if not excusable) decision.

Sorry, I don't mean to rant - but it's important in cases of suicide not to tacitly condone the action by suggesting that he's "better" off now than he was. It's a narrative that perpetuates the tragedy.

Nothing against you, but this kind of sentiment always irks me as a form of public remembrance - especially for cases of suicide. He was in a place where people around him loved him and where there were options for help that he apparently opted not to take or that gave up on. Now he's not. Saying he's somewhere "better" supports the logic that taking one's life as a way to end suffering and get to heaven (a concept we don't even know if he believed in) is an understandable (if not excusable) decision.

Sorry, I don't mean to rant - but it's important in cases of suicide not to tacitly condone the action by suggesting that he's "better" off now than he was. It's a narrative that perpetuates the tragedy.

Perhaps he was in a place where he was loved (we don't know and can't assume that), but to have reached that frame of mind he must have felt very alone. Suffering takes many different forms, and what we can glimpse on the outside does not paint the entire picture. Sometimes those surrounded by people are the loneliest, sometimes those that appear to be the happiest are actually the saddest. No matter why he chose to take his own life, "he's in a better place now" is a polite sentiment that no matter what his suffering was, he no longer has to endure it. It is not for us to condone or not to condone.

We have the freedom to choose, even when the decision is the most profound we can make. Whether or not you or whatever religious beliefs you hold agree with suicide as an exit strategy is immaterial, and your opinion on it has no place amongst a discussion of remembrance. Perhaps your own soapbox/thread is in order to espouse (or not) the ramifications of suicide as an acceptable (or not) choice.

Sorry for MY rant, but I felt that what you said was both inappropriate and unnecessary.

[irixith]

but he is in a better place now.

Nothing against you, but this kind of sentiment always irks me as a form of public remembrance - especially for cases of suicide. He was in a place where people around him loved him and where there were options for help that he apparently opted not to take or that gave up on. Now he's not. Saying he's somewhere "better" supports the logic that taking one's life as a way to end suffering and get to heaven (a concept we don't even know if he believed in) is an understandable (if not excusable) decision.

Sorry, I don't mean to rant - but it's important in cases of suicide not to tacitly condone the action by suggesting that he's "better" off now than he was. It's a narrative that perpetuates the tragedy.

Nothing against you, but this kind of sentiment always irks me as a form of public remembrance - especially for cases of suicide. He was in a place where people around him loved him and where there were options for help that he apparently opted not to take or that gave up on. Now he's not. Saying he's somewhere "better" supports the logic that taking one's life as a way to end suffering and get to heaven (a concept we don't even know if he believed in) is an understandable (if not excusable) decision.

Sorry, I don't mean to rant - but it's important in cases of suicide not to tacitly condone the action by suggesting that he's "better" off now than he was. It's a narrative that perpetuates the tragedy.

Perhaps he was in a place where he was loved (we don't know and can't assume that), but to have reached that frame of mind he must have felt very alone. Suffering takes many different forms, and what we can glimpse on the outside does not paint the entire picture. Sometimes those surrounded by people are the loneliest, sometimes those that appear to be the happiest are actually the saddest. No matter why he chose to take his own life, "he's in a better place now" is a polite sentiment that no matter what his suffering was, he no longer has to endure it. It is not for us to condone or not to condone.

We have the freedom to choose, even when the decision is the most profound we can make. Whether or not you or whatever religious beliefs you hold agree with suicide as an exit strategy is immaterial, and your opinion on it has no place amongst a discussion of remembrance. Perhaps your own soapbox/thread is in order to espouse (or not) the ramifications of suicide as an acceptable (or not) choice.

Sorry for MY rant, but I felt that what you said was both inappropriate and unnecessary.

[irixith]

but he is in a better place now.

Nothing against you, but this kind of sentiment always irks me as a form of public remembrance - especially for cases of suicide. He was in a place where people around him loved him and where there were options for help that he apparently opted not to take or that gave up on. Now he's not. Saying he's somewhere "better" supports the logic that taking one's life as a way to end suffering and get to heaven (a concept we don't even know if he believed in) is an understandable (if not excusable) decision.

Sorry, I don't mean to rant - but it's important in cases of suicide not to tacitly condone the action by suggesting that he's "better" off now than he was. It's a narrative that perpetuates the tragedy.

but he is in a better place now.

Nothing against you, but this kind of sentiment always irks me as a form of public remembrance - especially for cases of suicide. He was in a place where people around him loved him and where there were options for help that he apparently opted not to take or that gave up on. Now he's not. Saying he's somewhere "better" supports the logic that taking one's life as a way to end suffering and get to heaven (a concept we don't even know if he believed in) is an understandable (if not excusable) decision.

Sorry, I don't mean to rant - but it's important in cases of suicide not to tacitly condone the action by suggesting that he's "better" off now than he was. It's a narrative that perpetuates the tragedy.

Nothing against you, but this kind of sentiment always irks me as a form of public remembrance - especially for cases of suicide. He was in a place where people around him loved him and where there were options for help that he apparently opted not to take or that gave up on. Now he's not. Saying he's somewhere "better" supports the logic that taking one's life as a way to end suffering and get to heaven (a concept we don't even know if he believed in) is an understandable (if not excusable) decision.

Sorry, I don't mean to rant - but it's important in cases of suicide not to tacitly condone the action by suggesting that he's "better" off now than he was. It's a narrative that perpetuates the tragedy.

Perhaps he was in a place where he was loved (we don't know and can't assume that), but to have reached that frame of mind he must have felt very alone. Suffering takes many different forms, and what we can glimpse on the outside does not paint the entire picture. Sometimes those surrounded by people are the loneliest, sometimes those that appear to be the happiest are actually the saddest. No matter why he chose to take his own life, "he's in a better place now" is a polite sentiment that no matter what his suffering was, he no longer has to endure it. It is not for us to condone or not to condone.

We have the freedom to choose, even when the decision is the most profound we can make. Whether or not you or whatever religious beliefs you hold agree with suicide as an exit strategy is immaterial, and your opinion on it has no place amongst a discussion of remembrance. Perhaps your own soapbox/thread is in order to espouse (or not) the ramifications of suicide as an acceptable (or not) choice.

Sorry for MY rant, but I felt that what you said was both inappropriate and unnecessary.

[dsheinem]

Perhaps he was in a place where he was loved (we don't know and can't assume that)

Well I am basing that on his wife's words ("he knew he was loved") and on the fact that he had many people online who loved his work - "love" is obviously a tough thing to know for sure, but all signs pointed to people caring for him in some form or fashion when he was alive.

but to have reached that frame of mind he must have felt very alone. Suffering takes many different forms, and what we can glimpse on the outside does not paint the entire picture. Sometimes those surrounded by people are the loneliest, sometimes those that appear to be the happiest are actually the saddest.

I agree with all this, of course.

We have the freedom to choose, even when the decision is the most profound we can make. Whether or not you or whatever religious beliefs you hold agree with suicide as an exit strategy is immaterial, and your opinion on it has no place amongst a discussion of remembrance. Perhaps your own soapbox/thread is in order to espouse (or not) the ramifications of suicide as an acceptable (or not) choice.

Sorry for MY rant, but I felt that what you said was both inappropriate and unnecessary.

I considered my words carefully when writing them and before posting, and I've had many folks PM me since to thank me for saying what I did. It is important to consider how we discuss and/or value suicide and I see no problem with doing so in a thread where the very first post did just that (inadvertently, perhaps) by weighing in on how we should understand suicide's outcome and effects. Where you see the expression of "polite sentiment" I see an entrenched, cliche narrative that unfortunately functions to provides comfort to people who, in committing suicide, often wreck the lives of those around them.

I'm all for keeping polemics out of a thread that functions as a form of remembrance, but unfortunately that wasn't the case from the start. Surely, as someone who felt strongly enough to post her own position on my comments in this same thread, you can understand why I felt compelled to offer more than merely sympathy or remembrances with my post.

[Golgo 14]

depression is a very complicated and intricate affliction, and it is very real, as much as some might try to downplay its legitimacy.

Thank you for this. Whenever people discuss depression and suicide and say, "I don't understand how....", I always think, you're right: you don't understand.

[Flake]

I never know what I should think when someone commits suicide. On the one hand, I firmly believe that a person should be able to shape their own destiny as they see fit. On the other, unless you're old, forgotten, secluded, and without family or friends, this type of choice is too damaging on those around you for words.

She was on the other side of the door when he pulled the trigger? I don't know anything about this woman and I can say that I feel very, very sorry for her. To lose a loved one is bad enough. To lose them like this?

I hope that this guy found whatever solace he was looking for when he made his decision - and I hope that those he is leaving behind are able to move forward and heal.

[dsheinem]

I hope that this guy found whatever solace he was looking for when he made his decision - and I hope that those he is leaving behind are able to move forward and heal.

eloquently stated