Girl Advice

[cookie monster]

If she is is new to the area offer to show her the sights that way it is not so much pressure for a first date. As for texting her i wouldn't you could write a nice note explaining since she is new you thought she may like to see the cool things in the area. From what you have wrote she seems very shy you should go slow so you don't scare her off. You don't wanna come on to strong cause then you seem like a stalker . I figured you could use a girls advice on this.

[pierrot]

best advice: don't seek relationship advice in an online gaming forum

I'm a little offended by this. I have a lot of bad relationship experience. I hardly see how that disqualifies my advice. <_<


By the way, OP, while you're trying to keep your heart rate in check, and making sure you don't explode, you might want to distract yourself by talking with another Pakistani friend or someone who knows about Pakistani culture, if you know anyone. If not, maybe try a book on Pakistan's culture, and skip to the relationships section. Maybe she's grown up watching hollywood movies and is interested in an American brand of romance (god help you if this is the case) but more than likely she's still a Pakistani woman, who's accustomed to a potentially different style of courtship. It's probably helpful to know the rules of engagement beforehand. I maintain that texts are pure awful, and that nothing good can come from them in a budding relationship. (Aside from hook-ups, I guess.) If you're dying to talk with her, the phone is probably better; Make sure you have a good reason for calling, and use it VERY sparingly.

[Luke]

best advice: don't seek relationship advice in an online gaming forum

I'm a little offended by this. I have a lot of bad relationship experience. I hardly see how that disqualifies my advice. <_<

<snip>

If not, maybe try a book on Pakistan's culture, and skip to the relationships section.

This is going to sound jerky when I'm not trying to be...BUT:

The advice you gave is why you don't go to this forum for "girl advice".

[Blu]

Don't be the overzealous type. Play it cool for a while. If she digs you, she'll come around. Enjoy the chase!

[fvgazi]

I would probably avoid picking up a book on her culture. She or anyone you will talk to will feel much more valued if you hear it directly from them by asking questions, as they probably have a VERY different actual upbringing than any book would describe.

Still.. avoid video games unless it's obvious.

[Luke]

What the hell...

[fvgazi]

What if she's afraid of bees??!?!?!?!

[sevin0seven]

Thanks for the replies. Do you guys think it's a bad idea to send her a text tomorrow? The problem I have, is most of the time her bosses arrive to the station before she does. When they do, her and I don't really have a moment to talk alone. It could be another week before we have another chance to talk again. I also feel like maybe she feels nervous, being in a new country, and one of her co-workers already asking her out on a date. Maybe she wanted to elaborate on her answer but was either too nervous to say it in person or there was the language barrier. She also told me a few days ago that she is much better at writing English than she is at speaking it. Perhaps through texts we can feel more relaxed about speakingly openly about the situation?

your screen name and this thread reminds me of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVi4PUx8bXk

anyway, don't text her. instead talk to her when you get the chance again. just follow up what you asked her about (the dinner) and where it stands. be confident (girls like that) and of course just be yourself. you already stated that "someone" already tried to ask her out (uh oh competition), so you if want to win her heart you gotta do the little things without being too aggressive (open door, pull chair, buy coffee, etc). good luck my friend.

[pierrot]

This is going to sound jerky when I'm not trying to be...BUT:

The advice you gave is why you don't go to this forum for "girl advice".

The first part was a joke--.

You're right, he should read the whole book. I like the part where your argument was substantive, also.
I may not know from long-term, committed relationships, but I do know that cultures vary widely, and some of her behavior could be explained through a better understanding of her culture. There are a lot of things that go along with dating outside one's nationality that are not covered in basic relationship advice. (Case in point: South Korean women.) Another thing I've come to expect is that it's not a good idea to swoop in on someone who's adjusting to a new culture. I don't hold high hopes for OPs scenario, because I feel like I've seen where this story goes, but I'll keep to an observer at this point.

Best of luck, OP, and exchange "American" for "Canadian" in my last post. I forgot the setting of your story.

[gtmtnbiker]

By the way, OP, while you're trying to keep your heart rate in check, and making sure you don't explode, you might want to distract yourself by talking with another Pakistani friend or someone who knows about Pakistani culture, if you know anyone. If not, maybe try a book on Pakistan's culture, and skip to the relationships section. Maybe she's grown up watching hollywood movies and is interested in an American brand of romance (god help you if this is the case) but more than likely she's still a Pakistani woman, who's accustomed to a potentially different style of courtship. It's probably helpful to know the rules of engagement beforehand. I maintain that texts are pure awful, and that nothing good can come from them in a budding relationship. (Aside from hook-ups, I guess.) If you're dying to talk with her, the phone is probably better; Make sure you have a good reason for calling, and use it VERY sparingly.

This is good advice. Things might be different from when I went to college but I can see her parents frowning on her getting involved with a non-Pakistani man. I had some good friends in college who were from Pakistan and in the end, they all bowed to their parents' wishes and got into an arranged marriage.

It's very very rare for me to see a Pakistani/Indian woman with a man of a different race.

Still, give it a shot. The worse that could happen is that she says no.