Girl Advice

[winds]

I thought this might be a fun topic to discuss, my love life! Or lack thereof...

Anywho, so there is this girl at work i'm interested in. I work in radio and our station recently went through some programming changes. One of the new shows i'm working, has a girl host. She originates from Pakistan and came to Canada specifically for this job about 3 months ago. She speaks English pretty well, but there is definitely some language barriers between her and myself. We've only been working together for about a month now, and have only had the chance to speak alone (her show is accompanied by 2 other male producers, who are also her boss) perhaps 3 or 4 times now. During her show, we constantly exchange smiles through the glass (I am in the control room, while she is in the studio). I pretty much became attracted to her the moment I saw her. The few chances we've talked as well, my feelings have only grown. I've come to not only be attracted to her physically (she's insanely beautiful), but she has a really calming, gentle, and shy nature about her that speaks to me.

Getting into more details about our relationship now and why i'm asking for help, about a week ago she came into the studio a little early and we started talking before her show. Things were going smoothly, and then she suddenly became very nervous and said "Jeff... can I ask you something?". I replied "sure, you can ask me anything. What is it?". She started walking towards the door to leave the room kind of awkwardly and then said "Actually, i'll ask another day". This situation caused me and some friends of mine whom I also told this story to speculate that she was about to ask me on a date. That is pure speculation but her body language and just the general feel of the situation really made me believe that.

Fast forward to last night and tonight. Last night, during her show, we were playing a song on-air and I was dancing to it. Through the glass between the studio where she was, and the control room where I was, I could see her and the producers laughing in a friendly manner. I jokingly said to them "are you laughing at me?? haha" and they laughed and said "no, no".

Now tonight, she came in an hour early before her show started (this is new for her, the earliest she's come in before that is maybe 20 minutes). She came into the control room where I was sitting and we started having a friendly talk. After some conversation she said "The reason I came early today was because I felt bad about last night". I asked her "felt bad about what??". She said "when you asked if we were laughing at you. I couldn't sleep and even skipped my english class to come here and tell you this". I suddenly felt pretty bad!! She was worrying all night over something so miniscule?? And skipped her classes? I immediately responded "oh no no, don't feel bad, I was honestly only kidding about that". After we sorted that out, she got serious again and said "when I first saw you, I was a little nervous to meet you because we are from different countries, but now I see you are so nice, humble, and very sweet". I was taken aback by that. She's such a sweet girl and to say such nice things and to feel bad all night, worrying that I felt bad about last night? I mean come on, she's amazing. Now again, just like the previous week, she got very nervous again and said "Jeff... actually... I wanted to ask you something". I replied "what is it?". She paused, looking very nervous, then started backing away again. She then said "sorry, another day, sorry". At this point there wasn't a doubt in my mind, she was trying to ask me out... right?? So I decided to be the brave one and said "Actually, I wanted to ask you something too. I was wondering, if you're not too busy, maybe I can take you out to dinner some time?". She said "umm..." then awkwardly paused for what felt like a good 10 seconds. Did I read the situation wrong?? I then broke the silence by saying "no worries if you're too busy or anything". Then she kind of really... reluctantly? I guess is the best way to put it... (it was hard to read the situation), said "yes, i will let you know when i'm free". Then she left the room and started to get ready for her show.

We continued to work the show together for the rest of the night, albiet with her 2 producers (and bosses) there so we didn't have a chance to talk further. We smiled during the show but it definitely felt a bit awkward.

So... any advice on what to do now? I mean I got a yes so I shouldn't be complaining, but it definitely wasn't the "kind" of yes I was expecting, nor hoping for. What on earth was she thinking of asking me if not for a date? Everything from her body language to the tone of her voice eluded to that scenario.

I have her number so I was thinking about sending her a text tomorrow, something to the tune of "I can't stop thinking about what it was you wanted to ask me?". Any better ideas?? Help me out here guys!

[Valkyrie-Favor]

My advice, based on limited information. Take it with a grain of salt.

If her words, actions, and body language "exude" that she wants to go out with you, she probably does. If she's already interested, I don't think you need to be extremely careful about what you say around her (that is, don't freak out). She's already attracted to what you normally do.

She said that she was nervous to talk to you, so imagine how she feels about going out with you. My impression (based on almost nothing) is that she's a girl who keeps her word. When you do go on that date, make sure she feels comfortable.

Don't worry about being yourself or not being yourself. You already do that just fine.

[Dylan]

Relevant thread:

http://www.racketboy.com/forum/viewtopi ... 15&t=14846

[pierrot]

I should preface by saying that I'm pretty jaded; mostly because I've been hooked in and slapped down too many times. I probably shouldn't relate my own experiences too much with yours, but I've never really dated anyone who was born in the US, so that might be why this is grabbing my attention.

Without putting too much of my own junk onto you, I would recommend that you be very, very careful with how you pursue this girl. There are myriad ways that a man can misinterpret a woman's intentions, and I think it's best you not read too much into these things too quickly.

It sounds like you've got the go ahead on the first date, but you left the ball in her court. You should probably wait for a reply from her, and keep things as cool as you possibly can. DO NOT--I can not stress this enough--do not start engaging her in a way that would seem as if you're strung out. (NO TEXTS!) If after five days or so, she doesn't mention anything, try asking her again with a specific time/place in mind. Hopefully you'll know enough about her work schedule to be able pick a time she might be free. If she's interested, she'll make time. I would also recommend being prepared to accept a "no" without expecting one.

[Hobie-wan]

Try to go on a 'hang out' where there are other people around. Maybe just lunch with a group of co-workers. This will take the edge off and give a chance to get to know a little better with less pressure.

[Bradtemple87]

This is a tough call depending on your personality type. I know I have a hard time "beating around the bush". If she IS just nervous, and you have the patience, then you should be fine to continue. However, if she doesn't know what she wants, then I would skip it all together. That type of situation is not worth your emotional and time investments.

[winds]

Thanks for the replies. Do you guys think it's a bad idea to send her a text tomorrow? The problem I have, is most of the time her bosses arrive to the station before she does. When they do, her and I don't really have a moment to talk alone. It could be another week before we have another chance to talk again. I also feel like maybe she feels nervous, being in a new country, and one of her co-workers already asking her out on a date. Maybe she wanted to elaborate on her answer but was either too nervous to say it in person or there was the language barrier. She also told me a few days ago that she is much better at writing English than she is at speaking it. Perhaps through texts we can feel more relaxed about speakingly openly about the situation?

[MrPopo]

Thanks for the replies. Do you guys think it's a bad idea to send her a text tomorrow?

Yes. It's still incredibly early and she's obviously quite shy. Do NOT start pestering her or it will send her running.

[jinx]

I'll +1 the DON'T TEXT HER.

[benderx]

tell her you are my Zelda from Hyrule. I'am your Link who holds the shield close together. Zelda gathers hearts towards Link's body. She become shy of ocarina sounds, entrapment. He holds his swords up in glory roses