Having Kids - Parents chime in...

[Veriz]

Congrats on the future kid, me and my wife are talking about a good time to try and have our first kid and I know how you feel running all these thoughts around in your head. But look at it this way. My wife tells me she knows I will be a good dad because I worry about a lot of things like you are currently. The fact that you care enough and worry that you will be a good father means in the end you will be because you care, if you were just like, meh, having a kid who cares and no big deal then you would probably have a problem then lol. Good luck!

[Zing]

Sleep - Funny that this should be my first worry, but being brutally honest, it is. I value, no treasure my sleep. I know that I will adjust and that a day will come when I my kid will sleep soundly, its just the intervening time I am worried about.

The sleep thing was the worst part for me. My daughter was actually pretty easy, but it didn't matter. Even the most cooperative kid is going to screw up your sleep for the first 6-8 months. It got so bad that I actually considered renting a hotel room for a few days just to catch up on sleep.

I hate to break it to you, but you aren't going to be getting the sleep you want for a very, very long time. Unless you have a job that already has you getting up very early in the morning, be prepared to wake up early for many years.

My daughter is six. I love that she goes to bed early (around 730-8pm), but I have been woken up between 6-7am for what feels like my entire life and it isn't stopping. Be prepared for that.

[Hatta]

Funny this should come up. My girlfriend was brought to tears last night after struggling to put her 9 year old daughter to bed. She woke her up again at 4 this morning. Thank god we only have her here a few times a year, I can't imagine dealing with this shit full time. I certainly can't imagine choosing to deal with it full time.

[bladerunner]

Funny this should come up. My girlfriend was brought to tears last night after struggling to put her 9 year old daughter to bed. She woke her up again at 4 this morning. Thank god we only have her here a few times a year, I can't imagine dealing with this shit full time. I certainly can't imagine choosing to deal with it full time.

I can remember thinking the same thing, and not that long ago. Don't take this as criticism as I am really talking about myself here but I came to realize how self-centred most of my life has been up to this point. Sure getting married changes some of that, but really 'me' just becomes a 'collective me'. And I think for some people it gets kind of empty after a while. That is why I caved and finally said yes to kids (my wife has always wanted kids).

So my initial desire for kids was itself motivated for selfish reasons in a way. I know having kids and caring for them will make me a better man, someone who I would rather be. Plus some of the guys here have said things that ring true; that what I enjoy will change. Once the kiddo is around, I will enjoy seeing them and playing and interacting with them. I am sure I won't always be hung up on how much I just want to do what I want. But I fully expect some restless nights.

[Quiet Flight]

got a vasectomy a few months after i turned 18. the family was pissed to say the least and it has broken up a few long term relationships but i wouldn't change it. i just have to worry about someone trying to get me to adopt lol

[alexis524]

congrats on being a father bladerunner!

it's awesome being a dad. My wife and I have a 6 yr old daughter together and every day since she has come home has been hella good. As far as losing sleep, you may in the beginning, but if you're fortunate enough, your child may sleep throughout the night after a few months like ours did. Your time will definitely be reduced as it will
be going towards baby and the wife making sure they have what they need. Be discerning with the wifey tho. Try to sense when she may need some alone time with you, or even some time for her to go out and about for some "me"time. Parenthood really is awesome and honestly i wouldn't feel complete without being one. It adds a 'lil something extra to your life that helps things get put into perspective. Congrats!

[wip3outguy7]

got a vasectomy a few months after i turned 18. the family was pissed to say the least and it has broken up a few long term relationships but i wouldn't change it. i just have to worry about someone trying to get me to adopt lol

I LOL'd.

[Zing]

It isn't even about the kid "sleeping through the night". That's the easy part. It's about how you are basically having to care for and, more importantly, entertain another human being for 12 hours straight. Every day.

I'm at six years and counting of this.

[Michi]

I don't have any kids, but a large slew of my friends seem to be expecting children this year (Seriously, it's like they all decided to have kids at the same time), so I'll just pass on what my mother told to all of them:

You're probably not going to get a full nights sleep for a while. Babies don't know the difference between night and day and they have little stomachs so they have to be fed a lot. Your best bet is to, whenever possible, sleep when they sleep. Other than that, have fuuuuuun.

And then when they left she'd wander off (to go laugh maniacally in the dark somewhere, I assume.)

(PS. Congrast )

[TEKTORO]

Having kids is great!

You can get away playing videogames while watching them,just get a car seat (so they cant tumble out) some games with ambient music (so they can be calm) and let the games begin!