Joy to the world

[Luke]

I'm wondering what sort of things you guys do (or see other people do) that spreads joy around them. I'd like to get some new ideas on little things anyone can do to make the world just a little bit better of a place, no matter how silly that idea sounds to some people. Do you guys have any thoughts on this?

I make a point of doing at least a few good deeds a day, something I've done since I joined the cub scouts many moons ago. At work, the administrative branch is near the actual plant, so there can be a lot of traffic in the halls. I always open doors for everyone I work with. The women who work in the plant appreciate that gesture the most. Once in a while I'll bring bagels or donuts to work to share with co-workers, which is also appreciated.

On the road, if someone has their signal on, I'm letting them in/over. If they're taking a left turn in a busy spot, I'll put my hand up to say "stop" if they're not clear, and wave them forward when they are clear of traffic. If someone lets me over, I always wave to say thanks.

Anytime I see an elder or someone disabled unloading groceries, I always offer to load their groceries into their car and return their cart for them. Speaking of grocery stores, if you have kids or just a few items and are inline, I'll insist you go in front of me. If the line is really busy and the cashier doesn't have a bagger, I start bagging the groceries.

It's usually the little things like tipping your pizza delivery guy $20 during the holiday season that really spreads the joy. A simple good deed can really change someones day. I have a friend who is way into Batman. When I see something Batman related that I think he would like, I pick it up for him. I'm also known to buy silly t-shirts for my friends for no particular reason.

This is a good thread to mention something that I lately did to spread the joy. This year I had a friend lose his wife, a friend who has lost his sight and needs help walking due to MS, and a friend who beat testicular cancer only to find out he now has pancreatic cancer. I contacted one of Racket Boy's local celebrities and asked if he could sign some dvd's and posters and to make them personal. He did, and they turned out great. Without a doubt these gifts will put smiles on my friends faces.

Wow! Sorry for the diatribe.

I guess I could have just said "little gestures of kindness change lives".

[J T]

Thanks for the suggestions so far, and keep them coming! I'm glad to see that so many of you guys do these things.

Here's a few of my thoughts on spreading joy:

1. Have you ever stopped to notice just how much of people's communication is about complaints and criticisms? When people are content, they don't seem to say much, but their mouths open up as soon as they are dissatisfied. I'm trying to cut back on the amount of conversations I have about personal complaints because I feel that it mostly just highlights the bad aspects of life while ignoring the good.

2. Related to point 1, I am also trying to not keep my mouth shut when I'm content, but instead to recognize what I'm grateful for and tell other people about it, especially if my gratitude is because of something they have done for me. Every Friday, my wife and I both tell each other 5 things we were grateful for during the week, which helps us stay aware of what we have to be thankful for. It can be hard to do on a really crappy week, but surprisingly, even in my worst weeks, I still manage to find 5 things I can be grateful for.

3. I think a lot of what spreading joy is about is maintaining a certain mindset that focuses on the good around you. Sadness and pain direct our attention inward. Anger focuses our attention on a target that we want to change or irradicate. Fear and anxiety focus our attention on our thoughts about a future that we fear and want to avoid. Joy on the otherhand, focuses our attention outwards and greets other people and seeks out the beauty that surrounds us. To the extent that I can control my attention to stay focused outward, I believe I can increase my own joy and when I behave this way, I am more pleasant to be around and am generally friendlier to others.

4. Not taking on too much. I have a tendency to take on a lot of projects. It's pretty much required of you as a graduate student. When I'm insanely busy and facing encroaching deadlines though, I am much less pleasant to be around. All I care about is my deadline goals and people became less "people" and more "obstacles that get in my way and take up my time". I don't really like that I become this way and it is a direct result of stretching myself too thin. I'm trying to be careful about making sure that the amount of projects I take on is manageable so that I don't turn into a Type A asshole.

5. As others have said in this thread, a lot of this boils down to how you treat others. I also maintain a practice of doing at least one good deed every day, which I have done for years now. I'm also trying to recognize what motivates people to do things that I think are annoying. I find if I can recognize the motivation behind their behavior, I can have more empathy and understanding for them. I can also maybe help them achieve the goal they are motivated by in a less obnoxious way if I'm creative enough to come up with an alternate solution.

[noiseredux]

1. Have you ever stopped to notice just how much of people's communication is about complaints and criticisms? When people are content, they don't seem to say much, but their mouths open up as soon as they are dissatisfied. I'm trying to cut back on the amount of conversations I have about personal complaints because I feel that it mostly just highlights the bad aspects of life while ignoring the good.

you actually hit on something I've thought about a lot lately, man. It takes energy to put something out there, be it positive or negative. And it sort of upsets me how much energy and time people spend being negative. I know I'm guilty of it too at times, but I'm really trying to not waste time/energy being negative when I could spend it being positive. Not only to "spread joy," but also for my own sanity.

[Luke]

1. Have you ever stopped to notice just how much of people's communication is about complaints and criticisms? When people are content, they don't seem to say much, but their mouths open up as soon as they are dissatisfied. I'm trying to cut back on the amount of conversations I have about personal complaints because I feel that it mostly just highlights the bad aspects of life while ignoring the good.

you actually hit on something I've thought about a lot lately, man. It takes energy to put something out there, be it positive or negative. And it sort of upsets me how much energy and time people spend being negative. I know I'm guilty of it too at times, but I'm really trying to not waste time/energy being negative when I could spend it being positive. Not only to "spread joy," but also for my own sanity.

No employee sucks more than the employee who responds to the question "How are you today?" with the depressing response of "I'm here". Life isn't that bad people, especially when you have a decent paying job.

Oh! And to add to spreading the joy, I always ask people in service industries "How's work?" and "Are they treating you well?". It always sparks a discussion, and it shows people you care about them, not just the company they work for. As long as you aren't tying up their time, people in service industries always like to speak with customers, especially if they aren't upset customers.

[Hatta]

1. Have you ever stopped to notice just how much of people's communication is about complaints and criticisms? When people are content, they don't seem to say much, but their mouths open up as soon as they are dissatisfied. I'm trying to cut back on the amount of conversations I have about personal complaints because I feel that it mostly just highlights the bad aspects of life while ignoring the good.

The problem is, when you quit participating in that there's not much to say anymore. Conversations tend to go like this:

Person 1: "Hey, this thing is good"
Person 2: "Yes, yes it is"
Person 1: "..."
Person 2: "..."
Person 1 & 2: "uh, see you later"

[noiseredux]

The problem is, when you quit participating in that there's not much to say anymore. Conversations tend to go like this:

Person 1: "Hey, this thing is good"
Person 2: "Yes, yes it is"
Person 1: "..."
Person 2: "..."
Person 1 & 2: "uh, see you later"

why can't it go like this?

Person 1: "Hey, this thing is good"
Person 2: "Yes, yes it is"
Person 1: "My favorite part was when blah blah"
Person 2: "yeah that was cool, but what about blee bloh?"
Person 1 & 2: "hell yeah! Hey did you ever think of this...?

etc?

[Luke]

Person 2: "yeah that was cool, but what about blee bloh?"

Person 2 rules, and I need to start saying "Blee bloh" more often.


JOY TO THE WORLD: I solved a paper jam in our main office printer. I pressed the "error" button, opened a drawer, removed a very inky piece of paper, then pressed "start". Someone should coin the phrase, "This isn't printer science!".