Are there any benefits to a man to get married?

[Luke]

It's getting a little hot in here (^_^);;

It's cool man. Just trying to understand your point of view.

I'm not trying to bait you, I just don't see where you are coming from. You relate sandwiches, slavery and murdering people to getting married. Maybe if you told me why you're against marriage I could understand your posts better.

Point: We disagree on what marriage means. Yes I got married in a church, yes I'm somewhat religious, but I didn't get married for God. God didn't tell me to get married (but if God showed up at my front door and did tell me to get married, I'd be a different man).
I'd be willing to bet that a quarter of all marriages in the U.S (thanks to Vegas) have no religious binding whatsoever. But, I've told all my friends, getting married is the best decision I've ever made. I'm happier, she's happier.

[SpaceBooger]

If you want to support marriage because God told you to, then why don't you follow his other rules as well? That means no sex before marriage, no birth control in any form, no working on Sunday, no gay friends. Oh you should probably have a couple of black slaves. Don't wanna go against God now do we?

Sorry but the religious argument is the worst one of all. Using lies, fairy tales and bullshit in a discussion about truth, logic and making smart decisions is pretty absurd. If you seriously believe that stuff, you should also be supporting the murdering of gays and anyone who works on Sunday. Personally I think murdering people over silly stuff like that is a bad idea but to each their own.

Also it seems many people are confused about the topic. This isn't about loving others, forming families, living together and being in committed relationships. It's about marriage. How does signing that paper contract benefit men? I'm still waiting for a valid answer to that.

It's getting a little hot in here (^_^);;

If we get into an uneducated discussion on religion, any religion, I will be annoyed and offended. I am not for organized religion, but I respect it. Faith in something is motivational, and what ever motivates you is cool with me. So if someone says that marriage is a "religious right," thats cool for them - don't go bashing their beliefs just because you disagree.

Back to your point - I think the paper contract is just that - a contract, a commitment. I am not going to take a trip with a friend to Vegas without him putting some money down first or some other commitment first.

You keep mentioning why is it good for men... all of the advantages/disadvantages go for both the male and female. I am a teacher and the majority in my field have spouses that make more than them. The other science teacher at my school is male and his wife is a doctor, so if your original argument is true she would be at a "disadvantage" and could loose half.

I guess if you are too worried about loosing (half) then your too preoccupied noticing the happiness from commitment.

Also, you may get a better answer to your question from someone in the gay community who are fighting for the right to get married.

[Inazuma]

I'm planning on proposing to my GF of 7 years pretty soon.

I'm not worried about losing half of my stuff since:
1. I don't own a lot.
2. She makes more than me.
If you are worried about losing half of your stuff, sign a prenuptial agreement and lay everything down.

I'm not religious at all. She isn't either. We plan on a wedding to please our parents. They are from the "old-school" where marriage means a lot. I know that I will love her the same whether or not we are married. But it's something to remember. Just like birthdays.

And yes, you do get a piece of paper, but its more than that. You get a piece a paper (or cardboard) when you get your Drivers License, no? A license is freedom to drive recognized by everyone. When your child is born, you get a paper, his or her birth certificate. You don't really need one, but with it, he is recognized by everyone.

Hatta, if your GF were the type to want marriage, your whole idea of this would be different.

OK let me get this straight. Marriage is beneficial to you personally because you are a poor loser now and never plan on making any money in your lifetime. Your woman has a lot of money, so she will likely end up paying for your bills and if you happen to get divorced later, you may get some of her money.

OK, I can buy this. This would be one of the situations that could end up benefiting the man. Unfortunately for me, even if I was as poor and hopeless as someone like you, it would bother me morally to marry a woman just to get her money.

[Hatta]

Sorry if that bothers you. Something about lists makes a point by point analysis seem appropriate. Anyway, I'm glad you're happy and don't mean to shit on your marriage, even if I think the institution is silly.

I am focused on the piece of paper, since that is what marriage is. Two people who met before can run to Vegas, get married, and it carries all the legal power that your marriage does. If you want to say something like "Marriage is not just a piece of paper, it's also a _____", then why can't you have the ______ without the piece of paper?

I am from a divorced family, yes. As far as I can tell it was an amicable divorce. It seems natural to me that people grow and change as they get older, and sometimes they grow apart and each have incompatible goals. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Given how many marriages end in divorce, I think that denying that possibility is kind of immature. "It'll never happen to me!" Yeah, right.

So here's how I look at the whole "partner through life" thing. If you're lucky enough that your goals remain compatible as you both mature, that's wonderful. But why then did you need to get married? If your goals diverge, at some point one or the other of you is going to have to sacrifice your happiness to maintain the marriage. In which case, what was the point of getting married to begin with?

And miscellanea, I don't call my GF's dad "Dad", but neither do her sisters husbands. So that's no big deal. Also if my GF were the type to want to get married, she probably wouldn't be my GF. I like the fact that she is highly independent and places no weight on meaningless ceremonies. And Luke, you might want to have a snack, you'll be waiting a while.

Oh and here's a tangential point. If at some point in the future, any of you are having trouble in your marriage and want to keep it together "for the kids", don't. Having happy parents is much, much more important than having married parents. My parents were divorced and happy. I had friend whose parents were married but fought all the time. That is much harder on a kid, and warps their sense of what a healthy relationship is.

Sorry about the essay, heh.

[gtmtnbiker]

One issue with not getting married is that you cannot put your significant other on your health insurance if she were not to work or not have her own policy, right?

Another issue is, what if you were in a serious accident and someone needed to make a decision on you? As someone who is not married, your significant other would have no legal rights to do this. It would fall to your parent or a sibling.

[SpaceBooger]

OK, I can buy this. This would be one of the situations that could end up benefiting the man. Unfortunately for me, even if I was as poor and hopeless as someone like you, it would bother me morally to marry a woman just to get her money.

Why does it have to be beneficial? Cant someone do something because it makes them happy? Thats why I buy video games. There is no advantage - they cost money that I work hard for, they take time away that I could have used to spend with my wife and son- but they make me happy.

Also, do you really need to call someone a looser without knowing them... aren't you the one that said they were looking for logical and factual answers?

[deathred]

OK let me get this straight. Marriage is beneficial to you personally because you are a poor loser now and never plan on making any money in your lifetime. Your woman has a lot of money, so she will likely end up paying for your bills and if you happen to get divorced later, you may get some of her money.

OK, I can buy this. This would be one of the situations that could end up benefiting the man. Unfortunately for me, even if I was as poor and hopeless as someone like you, it would bother me morally to marry a woman just to get her money.

I make well enough in my IT field and will continue to make money. You assume I'm a bum with no aspirations. You are wrong. She makes more than me because she is a Registered Nurse.

Don't assume anything about someone you've really no information on.

[Dylan]

If you want to support marriage because God told you to, then why don't you follow his other rules as well? That means no sex before marriage, no birth control in any form, no working on Sunday, no gay friends. Oh you should probably have a couple of black slaves. Don't wanna go against God now do we?

Sorry but the religious argument is the worst one of all. Using lies, fairy tales and bullshit in a discussion about truth, logic and making smart decisions is pretty absurd. If you seriously believe that stuff, you should also be supporting the murdering of gays and anyone who works on Sunday. Personally I think murdering people over silly stuff like that is a bad idea but to each their own.

Yikes, easy. You're throwing around some pretty generalized statements. You also seem to have a limited view, based on the stereotypes your criticism is centered around. Why consider religion in important decisions? Well, that's because religion is something that you base your entire life around. Quite honestly we think that we're making smart decisions, void of your view on the subject. Quit throwing around preposterous criticisms, and quit thinking that other points of view are wrong or stupid because that's what you think.

Also it seems many people are confused about the topic. This isn't about loving others, forming families, living together and being in committed relationships. It's about marriage. How does signing that paper contract benefit men? I'm still waiting for a valid answer to that.

Why are you disassociating marriage with the very things that define it? Marriage in general doesn't exist without relationships, love, and other things that these entail. Your description of marriage is not widely accepted, and very convenient for your argument.

[deathred]

I know that some people have the idea that Marriage can be beneficial for either party for Legal Status in the country. That has nothing to do with love, but all with convenience.

[Inazuma]

If we get into an uneducated discussion on religion, any religion, I will be annoyed and offended. I am not for organized religion, but I respect it. Faith in something is motivational, and what ever motivates you is cool with me. So if someone says that marriage is a "religious right," thats cool for them - don't go bashing their beliefs just because you disagree.

Back to your point - I think the paper contract is just that - a contract, a commitment. I am not going to take a trip with a friend to Vegas without him putting some money down first or some other commitment first.

You keep mentioning why is it good for men... all of the advantages/disadvantages go for both the male and female. I am a teacher and the majority in my field have spouses that make more than them. The other science teacher at my school is male and his wife is a doctor, so if your original argument is true she would be at a "disadvantage" and could loose half.

I guess if you are too worried about loosing (half) then your too preoccupied noticing the happiness from commitment.

Also, you may get a better answer to your question from someone in the gay community who are fighting for the right to get married.

I strongly believe that everyone should have the freedom to believe whatever they choose. But there is a difference between beliefs and truth. If someone wants to believe that slavery is OK or that all gays should be murdered, they can do that. For anyone here who believes in God, have you ever worked on Sunday or disobeyed your parents? You should not be alive today if that's the case.

It's a good thing God isn't real or else we would have all been killed long ago. Sorry if I am upsetting some people with this, but I just don't think murdering innocent people is a good idea. I guess we will have to agree to disagree about this.