This will likely be a popular topic with some seriously heated discussion going on. I'd like to please ask everyone to stay on topic and try to act like intelligent, logical adults.
Why should a man get married? What's in it for him? What can he gain from marriage that he otherwise cannot?
I asked myself these questions and couldn't come up with anything. If I wanted to love a woman and live with her for the rest of my life, I can do that without marriage, so that's not a reason. Marriage isn't about love at all. Sure, many people believe it is, but in reality it's just a legal contract where the man agrees to give the woman half of everything he owns. Where is the love in that?
So if marriage is just signing away tons of money, what's the point? Why do so many men blindly agree to it? I've asked some married and soon-to-be married men WHY, and no one has given me a valid reason. They say stuff like "because we are in love" or "because she will leave me if I don't marry her". It's pretty depressing to see these guys acting like fools. Just because society tells us we should get married, doesn't mean we should.
For marriage or any other important decision in life, shouldn't we think carefully about it before jumping into it? Unless you actually have a solid benefit for getting married, don't do it.
To anyone who disagrees with me (99% of the people I talk to about this), please give me one true benefit for a man to get married and try to hold back any personal insults you may have. It doesn't matter what your opinion of me is. This topic is about why a man should get married, not Inazuma. Even if I was the worst person on the face of the planet, it's completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. Thank you.
Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Inazuma wrote:This will likely be a popular topic with some seriously heated discussion going on. I'd like to please ask everyone to stay on topic and try to act like intelligent, logical adults.
Why should a man get married? What's in it for him? What can he gain from marriage that he otherwise cannot?
I asked myself these questions and couldn't come up with anything. If I wanted to love a woman and live with her for the rest of my life, I can do that without marriage, so that's not a reason. Marriage isn't about love at all. Sure, many people believe it is, but in reality it's just a legal contract where the man agrees to give the woman half of everything he owns. Where is the love in that?
So if marriage is just signing away tons of money, what's the point? Why do so many men blindly agree to it? I've asked some married and soon-to-be married men WHY, and no one has given me a valid reason. They say stuff like "because we are in love" or "because she will leave me if I don't marry her". It's pretty depressing to see these guys acting like fools. Just because society tells us we should get married, doesn't mean we should.
For marriage or any other important decision in life, shouldn't we think carefully about it before jumping into it? Unless you actually have a solid benefit for getting married, don't do it.
To anyone who disagrees with me (99% of the people I talk to about this), please give me one true benefit for a man to get married and try to hold back any personal insults you may have. It doesn't matter what your opinion of me is. This topic is about why a man should get married, not Inazuma. Even if I was the worst person on the face of the planet, it's completely irrelevant to the topic at hand. Thank you.
Not to get off topic, not trying to insult, and I know you said this thread isn't about you, but how old are you?
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The Apprentice
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Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Luke wrote:Not to get off topic, and not trying to insult, but how old are you?
His profile says he's 27.
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Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
The Apprentice wrote:Luke wrote:Not to get off topic, and not trying to insult, but how old are you?
His profile says he's 27.
Truthiness?
Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Luke wrote:Not to get off topic, and not trying to insult, but how old are you?
It doesn't matter at all but OK. I'm 27.
Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Hah, maybe the other question you could ask is what is one good thing about a woman getting married? Then maybe you'd find an answer...
-It places you in a role in society
-it's a formal ceremonious statement of commitment
-it keeps your kids from being referred to literally as "little bastards."
-it proves to other family members your commitment so they can stop assuming you are nothing but horndogs
-makes the traditional mothers happy
-it's one day out of the year where you are allowed to be a sappy and ostentatious about love and the future
-it's a symbol of old tradition that relates to good tidings for health and progress-
-tax breaks
-to place faith in another person and have it witnessed
-to represent something better than yourselves
-a psychological trial to allow for the transitioning of one lifestyle into the next....
So it's easy to see how all that can be corrupted.
Now even if you break all that down to say it can be done without a marriage, then you'd have to say to replace marriage with something else... and it's simpler to just go ahead with marriage. You wanna get creative? Go for it. I hear lots of Pagans go through rituals to symbolize their love AND stick it to the man.
-It places you in a role in society
-it's a formal ceremonious statement of commitment
-it keeps your kids from being referred to literally as "little bastards."
-it proves to other family members your commitment so they can stop assuming you are nothing but horndogs
-makes the traditional mothers happy
-it's one day out of the year where you are allowed to be a sappy and ostentatious about love and the future
-it's a symbol of old tradition that relates to good tidings for health and progress-
-tax breaks
-to place faith in another person and have it witnessed
-to represent something better than yourselves
-a psychological trial to allow for the transitioning of one lifestyle into the next....
So it's easy to see how all that can be corrupted.
Now even if you break all that down to say it can be done without a marriage, then you'd have to say to replace marriage with something else... and it's simpler to just go ahead with marriage. You wanna get creative? Go for it. I hear lots of Pagans go through rituals to symbolize their love AND stick it to the man.
Last edited by vejita on Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Well in many countries you get a tax break
Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Inazuma wrote:Luke wrote:Not to get off topic, and not trying to insult, but how old are you?
It doesn't matter at all but OK. I'm 27.
I think it matters a lot, actually. This question would take on a completely different meaning if it was coming from a 12 year old.
I got married this March to a girl I've been dating since undergrad. So although I'm probably still considered a newlywed, I have some experience on the subject, and the majority of my friends are either married or engaged. Plus, my Grandparents were married for over 67 years and my Parents are still very happily married to boot.
Inazuma wrote: Marriage isn't about love at all. Sure, many people believe it is, but in reality it's just a legal contract where the man agrees to give the woman half of everything he owns.
Where are you getting your information from? That statement is incorrect and makes no sense whatsoever. Marriage is not about a man giving a woman half of what he owes, and I have no idea where you got that from, unless one of your friends or loved ones told that nonsense.
And as far as people getting married because they are afraid their loved one will leave them, well...Their loved one will leave them. That's not why you get married, that's a reason you get divorced.
Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Sure, many people believe it is, but in reality it's just a legal contract where the man agrees to give the woman half of everything he owns. Where is the love in that?
Uh... what about the woman agreeing to give the man half of everything she owns?
Also I do not plan on getting married but do plan on staying with the person I'm currently with forever. Marriage holds to many connotations of the women being given to the man we feel.
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General Chaos
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Re: Are there any benefits to a man to get married?
Marriage is an institution that has been socially constructed. Of course, the same can be said for just about every aspect of everything we humans do that is social: work, play, wage wars, etc. From that perspective marriage has no more or less substance to it than any of these other constructs; be they rituals, customs, rules, beliefs, values, etc.
So the larger question is: why do we do anything that "society" deems normative? The answer is complex, and no one explanation is comprehensive and without its flaws. That said, theory, empirical evidence and logic suggest to us that we (as individuals and social creatures) are the products of our socialization, of which a large part are cultural and societal norms. Marriage happens to be one of these, and as such it complies with and reinforces deeply entrenched parts of who we have been socialized to be.
There are and have been cultures where norms differ, and marriage--whether monogamous or not—isn’t standard, or it looks very different from our western concept. You're right to assess that there are no objective benefits to marriage outside of cultural and societal contexts, but that's just the point: the same can be said for thousands of actions we take, things we say, and customs we practice. They fit within our cultural frame of reference and make us feel comfortable and emotionally healthy when we do them.
Oh, and I must admit I'm confused. Why is your focus specifically on why men marry?
So the larger question is: why do we do anything that "society" deems normative? The answer is complex, and no one explanation is comprehensive and without its flaws. That said, theory, empirical evidence and logic suggest to us that we (as individuals and social creatures) are the products of our socialization, of which a large part are cultural and societal norms. Marriage happens to be one of these, and as such it complies with and reinforces deeply entrenched parts of who we have been socialized to be.
There are and have been cultures where norms differ, and marriage--whether monogamous or not—isn’t standard, or it looks very different from our western concept. You're right to assess that there are no objective benefits to marriage outside of cultural and societal contexts, but that's just the point: the same can be said for thousands of actions we take, things we say, and customs we practice. They fit within our cultural frame of reference and make us feel comfortable and emotionally healthy when we do them.
Oh, and I must admit I'm confused. Why is your focus specifically on why men marry?