Are there any benefits to a man to get married?

[Inazuma]

Marriage is an institution that has been socially constructed. Of course, the same can be said for just about every aspect of everything we humans do that is social: work, play, wage wars, etc. From that perspective marriage has no more or less substance to it than any of these other constructs; be they rituals, customs, rules, beliefs, values, etc.

So the larger question is: why do we do anything that "society" deems normative? The answer is complex, and no one explanation is comprehensive and without its flaws. That said, theory, empirical evidence and logic suggest to us that we (as individuals and social creatures) are the products of our socialization, of which a large part are cultural and societal norms. Marriage happens to be one of these, and as such it complies with and reinforces deeply entrenched parts of who we have been socialized to be.

There are and have been cultures where norms differ, and marriage--whether monogamous or not—isn’t standard, or it looks very different from our western concept. You're right to assess that there are no objective benefits to marriage outside of cultural and societal contexts, but that's just the point: the same can be said for thousands of actions we take, things we say, and customs we practice. They fit within our cultural frame of reference and make us feel comfortable and emotionally healthy when we do them.


Oh, and I must admit I'm confused. Why is your focus specifically on why men marry?

Men should get married because society and culture tells them to? That's not a reason. "Because I said so" isn't a reason for anything. What if society told you to not eating anything for 5 days straight? What if society told you to kill your second child? What if society told you to drop a bomb and destroy millions of people? You telling me you would just happily comply with anything, as long as enough people support it?

Right now I am in a room of 20 thousand people and we all agree that we should spin around in circles for 12 hours. Will you join us?

To answer your last question, I am focused on men specifically because we can all agree that there are benefits for women to get married. It's a win/win deal for them so there is no point in arguing about that.

[J T]

Well said vejita. Marriage isn't about gaining benefits. It's about making a public commitment to your relationship.


If you don't want to make a serious commitment, then no, there is no good reason for you to get married, other than it might get your girlfriend to shut up about getting married, but then again, that's not really a good reason to get married either.

[General Chaos]

To answer your last question, I am focused on men specifically because we can all agree that there are benefits for women to get married. It's a win/win deal for them so there is no point in arguing about that.

I'm not prepared to agree to that at all. List some of the benifits.

Regarding your other points, I was merely presenting an explanation for why marriage is a core institution in many cultures; not necessarily suggesting that it being a core institution was itself reason to do it. However, I think you missed the larger point of my post. There are many things we do that have no direct benefit, but we do them because they fit within our frame of reference for what is normal. Believe me, I'm not a conformist, but I'm also not dead set on rebelling against every norm I can recognize. In any event, to do so would be nearly impossible. It would essentially require that you lobotomize yourself and start over from scratch, raising yourself in a cave.

[Dylan]

A very secular view of marriage is being taken. Outside of religion it's mostly tradition and personal preference. Some believe that marriage holds a much stronger significance than just to set things straight from a legal point of view. That it holds a holy bond, and a unification that humans alone cannot achieve. To those of us that see it this way, marriage is not something that was merely thought up by society, it was given and ordained by God.

Now, if you don't buy into religion, I can honestly say that I can't make a particularly strong case as to why you'd get married, rather than because it's your preference or something that you believe in.

[vejita]

Inazuma- You have yet to acknowledge that any religious or emotional reason is good for a man. You sound like a high-school anarchist-wannabe, rejecting any solution someone has come up with and harboring a cynical view on established norms. You start off with the guise of "Oh, I'm just wondering, ya know..." and then turn around to say people are wrong and use exagerrated examples of the negative things people can do as a group... Try a better argument.

[Luke]

If you were hungry for a tasty sandwich, and happened to have one in your fridge at home, would you attempt to drive across very dangerous roads to buy the exact same sandwich from the store?

Wha? So girls are sandwiches? The more you post the less sense you make.

Let's see... What have I gained from getting married?

The important things:
Knowing that my wife and I are dedicated to each other for life.
Being part of a great and new family.
Having her be a part of my family, who really loves her.
There are only 7 people in North America with my last name. I'm the only person in North America (last time I checked, on Earth) with my first and last names. I can pass my name onto my first born male child without all the hyphens and bullshit.
I don't believe in soul mates, but I do know that I have a Wife that would never intentionally hurt me. I can trust her 100%.

Not so important:
Knowing that I can access her Zappos account to make sure she doesn't spend $1,000 a month on shoes.
Now she'll fuck in a changing room in the mall.
All of the lingerie she got from the bachelor party.
Holy cow, engagement sex will blow your fucking mind. Honeymoon sex is spectacular as well.
I received over $30K in cash and checks from getting engaged to getting married.
Her parents quit all the bitching about not being married.

[Luke]

What if society told you to not eating anything for 5 days straight? What if society told you to kill your second child? What if society told you to drop a bomb and destroy millions of people? You telling me you would just happily comply with anything, as long as enough people support it?

Dear God, please tell me you're not really 27.

[Hatta]

I agree with you, there's little to no benefit to a man getting married. Long term monogamy is great, but I don't feel the need to have either the government or the church formally approve my relationship. Fortunately, my GF of 5 years (4 cohabitating) agrees with me here.

Mainly, it comes down to privacy. What goes on between you and your mate is no one else's business.

[Luke]

Long term monogamy is great, but I don't feel the need to have either the government or the church formally approve my relationship.

That's not the point of getting married.


*side note, I'd eat my hat if your girlfriend wouldn't be moved to tears if you proposed to her.

[Hatta]

Knowing that my wife and I are dedicated to each other for life.

Most marriages end in divorce, so that's arguable. Also, why did you need a ceremony/piece of paper to do that?

Being part of a great and new family.
Having her be a part of my family, who really loves her.

I certainly consider my GF part of my family, and I'm part of hers. A ceremony/piece of paper wouldn't change that one bit.

There are only 7 people in North America with my last name. I'm the only person in North America (last time I checked, on Earth) with my first and last names. I can pass my name onto my first born male child without all the hyphens and bullshit.

What's in a name?

I don't believe in soul mates, but I do know that I have a Wife that would never intentionally hurt me. I can trust her 100%.

And she would love you just as much if you didn't have a piece of paper telling her that she had to, right?

Long term monogamy is a great situation to be in. The ceremony/piece of paper is pretty much worthless.