1. Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
Cynically, in the modern chapters, this game even admits that it's a commercially pedestrian blockbuster. It depicts history wrongly all the time, so there's little value in that. Purely as a game, it's mostly the same as the previous games, which means gameplay is automatic and shallow, while you hoover up symbols on your map. The only thing going for it would be the ship battles, which while sluggish and imprecise, are still somewhat novel and explosive. In about forty hours of play time, I think I had about an hour of fun being a pirate.
4/10
2. Minecraft
I was extremely pleasantly surprised at how much respect the game had for the player's ingenuity. The tutorial is merely some pages you can find in the options menu. You have minutes to set up a safe haven, preferably with a bed and torches, with little to no instructions. Dying halves your experience points and leaves all your gear scattered about. Although randomly generated, there's always a feeling you might find something unique. The final boss is a treat, being open ended and seemingly insurmountable at first. There's a lot of random stuff that can set you back a couple of hours back, which keeps the challenge honest and respectful. However, it is still a game about crafting, meaning half the time you'll be doing busywork and clicking around in menus.
8/10
3. Street Fighter 6
Link combos now have a three frame buffer, while the super meter(s) allow many alterations to your moves. Competitively, this means you'll spend less time practicing the same combos over and over, and instead practicing reading different situations. With less neutral and much more creativity, this makes Street Fighter more like the other anime fighters. Which while a good thing, makes me wonder why this should be played at all. The answer is the masses: the single player mode is a poor man's Yakuza, but nevertheless will feed the tournament scene with plenty of folks confident enough they'll want to compete.
8/10
4. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
Is this a recruitment ad for the US Army? The production values are very impressive. Obviously, the game propels you forward, set piece to set piece, always giving you blockbuster flare. Occasionally, precision and strategy is required, and everything falls apart. Perhaps the lack of clarity and random nature of the enemies is realistic, but it does not make the challenge engaging. Luckily, it's over within a couple of hours. I hear the multiplayer was popular. Perhaps, but I doubt there's a reason to play this over Counter Strike or Quake.
3/10
5. Felvidek
A brisk 'Japanese' RPG instead located in Hungary, as its name implies. It delights in its historic background, where the church is at odds with cultists, and the monarchy at odds with the peasantry. The combat might just be barely strategic enough to keep the fights interesting, but this leaves more headspace for the eccentric narrative. Both silly and serious themes are explored, with intriguing writing and distinctive artistry. It's no Disco Elysium or Undertale, but if you want more in the same vein, a must play.
7/10
6. Blazing Lazers
Hectic and sharp, this is everything you could hope a 16-bit shmup can be. At times there might be too much going on, while you're bomb attack is too slow, but otherwise the difficulty is mostly fair. Space Megaforce has more interesting weapon choices, and MUSHA has more pizazz, but this one is still almost as good and definitely a step up from earlier Zanac/Aleste games.
7/10
7. Company of Heroes
On paper this sounds like any other RTS, but this one has a bombast to it that makes everything feel urgent, hence its popular appeal. The campaign benefits from high production values, enhancing the historic significance of the battles. There's an extra emphasis on controlling many different parts of the map for resources, and less on building structures, making skirmishes action packed. Still, I'd recommend only trying out single player, as CoH3 and SC2 have better competitive scenes.
8/10
8. Animal Crossing: New Horizons
The amount of personality is commendable, but that's really all this 'game' has to offer. You can't help but feel like half the time you're just doing mundane tasks. And for what? Happy emotes and the occasional joke? Perhaps being able to show off your creativity with online friends. Fundamentally, this genre is flawed due to being in a medium that limits expression to moving things around and making extremely simple dialogue choices. Still, picked up at the right time in small bursts, there's no denying it's a charming experience. And for what it's worth, there is more to see and do than in the prequels.
6/10
9. Shatterhand
The risk/reward element of short ranged attacks works better in Zelda II and Ninja Gaiden due to them having defensive options. Shatterhand relies a lot on speed and brute strength, which is exciting, but also tense. The upgrades are awkward to yield and keeping them around is even harder. There's a lot of potential here: think Mega Man with fists and body extensions. And while the execution is polished on a surface level, the combat is too frustrating to make it a classic.
5/10
10. CyberPunk 2077
Amazingly ambitious, just seeing the effort put into this is a marvel. Goes beyond the likes of Red Dead Redemption 2 and The Witcher III in almost every way, and thankfully, also in terms of gameplay and emergency. Unfortunately, the whole thing buckles under its own weight, as it's clear that the design process was hacked into parts for delegation. So don't expect level design as bold and organic as in Deus Ex, and systems working as well together. But there's still a lot to toy around with, and often enough make a choice with emotional weight.
8/10
11. Wario Land 4
Despite being the third iteration as a costume-based puzzle platformer, design is still rather tame and in stark contrast with the its exuberant personality. Some of the later levels dare the player to think twice, but never are you allowed to attempt things creatively. Still, it's a highly saccharine trip and you can't help but feel glee as Wario plows through ancient ruins with reckless abandon. Great bosses, too!
7/10
12. SUGAR (Jen Simpkins)
This interaction fiction is so short, it borders on being poetry. No matter, every second is gripping, as is every branch in the narrative. We already knew she was a talented writer as editor of Edge. I can only hope Jen's talents make it into other games. And you get to be a sex worker that eats the rich, indeed a very wholesome topic.
7/10
13. Earthbound
The best parts are when it subverts genre conventions, but rarely does it subvert gaming conventions. This tragically leaves the experience emotionally bound to 90's Japanese role playing games. Which in turn might ironically create its charm: it's yet another go at one of these, only this time everything's a bit different, making it both familiar and odd at the same time. The overworld portions are memorable, the combat isn't.
6/10
14. Venba
The cooking is surprisingly involving, as the meals have an existential weight to them. The cut-scenes between them are just barely long enough to get you interested in the next family conundrum. In the end, it's a bittersweet tale you can almost smell at times. And yes, you unlock a cook book at the end to add these recipes to your own memories.
7/10
15. Mario Kart 8
Now with more pizazz!! Luigi's Death Stare(tm) will never get old. And all the Nintendo characters having political alignments is hilarious. Toadette for life. /raisefist
7/10
16. Super Mario 64
Are you into speedrunning? Then this is the golden standard. There's boundless creativity in the movement options and oddball architecture. But as an adventure, this one quickly loses steam, as the horrendous camera does not gel well with the demanding platforming found in later stages. Most of the enjoyment comes from seeing how Nintendo got the most personality out of limited polygons. Often, the compromises create fantastic 90's SGI landscapes, which are a pleasure to trek through.
6/10
17. Resident Evil 2 Remake
There's something cozy about turning an unsafe area (in this case, the police station) into an orderly safe haven. The power fantasy is domestic: it's not that the place is empty, it's just under control. As the narrative delves deeper and astray into lacklustre areas and explanations, this one devolves into run-of-the-mill post-RE4 Resident Evil. The Claire run fares better thanks to the girl's side-missions.
5/10
18. Fantastic Dizzy
Stupid puzzles and annoying platforming are combined into something more than the sum of its parts. Perhaps the anticipation of seeing if your solution actually works is heightened by putting dexterous challenges in your way. And there's adorkable energy abound, as the Darling Brothers yet again shamelessly slap together a jury-rigged budget title according to a proven formula. While it is not recommended to be played, it should nevertheless never be forgotten.
5/10
19. Prince of Persia: The Lost Crown
A commercially injected by-the-numbers kitchen-sink metroidvania: doing everything as expected, and meticulously programmed. Of course, Ubisoft doesn't understand that it's mystery that ignites a sense of adventure (as done in Super Metroid and Hollow Knight), so its predictability makes everything feel redundant. And yet, you get a bunch of moves to play around with, while the developers went ham with exploiting tightly designed obstacles.
7/10
20. Chess 2: The Sequel
Easily the best Chess variant ever made. Some of these rules should at the very least be instituted in normal play (like winning by crossing the mid-line with your king). David Sirlin yet again amazes by adding five new armies to choose from. No need to memorize opening moves, and mid-game excitement is practically the whole game. Tragically so good, it exposes Chess's fundamental flaws. By turning the classic into a modern strategy game, one starts to realize that Chess was never really that interesting for competition. Its main attraction was that it's a rabbit-hole that has been studied for centuries.
7/10
21. Project Gotham Racing 4
PGR's last hurrah is more of the same, only this time flashier. Going down to 30 fps wasn't worth it though. There's fun to be had, climbing the ladder and fantasizing about the rivalries you make. One of the more demanding racing games, the repetition rewards the player with excellence. The kudo system, bikes, and alternative objectives keep the racing fresh. Unfortunately a bit too gimmicky for a sense of simulation, but too serious for pure fun.
6/10
22. Lode Runner
What I didn't expect is how much tension is added by the slow animation for making holes. This means you have to think ahead to keep Bomberman at bay. Combined with its fair share of different obstacles, I can see why the level editor was so popular. One of the best pre-crash games I've ever played!
7/10
23. Grand Theft Auto IV
You can easily watch ten better gangsta films in the time it takes to get through this one, while also avoiding all the unfunny sexism, homophobia, and juvenile humor. The driving and shooting have amazingly bad controls, considering the prestigious amounts of money that went into this. Nothing has been added to GTA's best parts, namely blowing stuff up and seeing how the world reacts. Instead we get mundane dating mini-games and a character with half-baked introspective moments.
1/10
24. Prince of Prussia
The original is infamous for its excessive animations and wonky sword fighting. Now all animation is cut away, making the platforming zippy and fun. And what's even more fun is that you get to stab nazis in the back. It's simple, gratis, and short, and very much worth your time.
7/10
25. Riven
The stand-alone puzzles of Myst are replaced by two huge world spanning puzzles. The connection between the world's logistics, and the symbolism used for the puzzles, is a bit contrived. But it nevertheless does give everything a potential meaning. The puzzles aren't solved by hard math, but by intuiting what the designers were trying to communicate. The clean mid-90's silicon graphics aesthetic fits well with the serene nature of the fictional setting and is a delight to surround yourself with, click by click.
7/10
26. Ghost of Tsushima
Basically a Ubisoft map set in Japan. The combat has more bells and whistles, but is still heavily restrained by sensational animations. The lack of mini-map doesn't really make you pay better attention to your surroundings, as every challenge is still bluntly applied cookie-cutter style. Only about three of the Witcher III-inspired tales are memorable, and even more startling, even fewer have a sense of humor to them. Triple-A at its best and worst: spectacular detail on the surface, while design gets more rudimentary the more you try to get out of this game.
4/10
27. Double Dragon
I don't recall being this annoyed by all this slowdown forty years ago. Were it not for that, this would still be a decent beat-em-up with almost everything you could hope for: a nice variety of moves and enemies, exciting locations, catchy music, and a few gimmicks like treadmills and booby traps. Good luck finding somebody else to play this with to the end for -that- classic duel, as thirty minutes of sluggish gameplay is a hard sell.
5/10
28. BABBDI
Probably the best tutorial since Dusk. There's no combat or death, and interactions are mostly limited to movement. But still get ready to question the meaning of everything this game throws at you. Good luck trying to go over the borders of the map. Yes, you can jump higher using the bat. Heck, it even has bunny hopping! At about two hours, it's over too fast. But still has as many thrills, and better ones to boot, than the likes of Half-Life 2, Metro, and STALKER.
8/10
29. Cuphead
The challenges are divided into bite-sized chunks, hence its mainstream success. But beyond its glorious animation, there's also some modern gameplay technology, like dashes, parries, and equippable skills, which lift it above 90's era run 'n' guns. Cuphead lacks the depth of Alien Soldier or Battle Garegga, but it compensates by simply having a lot of well thought out encounters with multiple phases. A delight!
8/10
30. Uncharted 2
The best parts are the cut-scenes, and I'm not sure they're even as good as The Crystal Skull. The epitome of Naughty Dog's water and oil design: nothing fits together, whether it be the puzzles, shooting, or climbing. None of which are done well. There are countless Quartermain/Indiana Jones knockoffs; this one is simply unnecessary. If for whatever reason you enjoy the first half, be warned, the second half just drags on and on.
2/10
31. Shock Troopers
You can so easily picture this game just by reading its contents. Neo Geo top down shooter, where you can make teams of three characters (indeed with different attacks and speeds). You can roll as a defensive maneuver. There is an overhead map with three paths to choose. Yeah, that's all there is to it. Nothing wrong, nothing remarkable.
5/10
32. The Forgotten City
That Skyrim mod gets plenty of extra flair as its own game. Now a cornucopia of ancient religions are thrown together in order to explain the time loop. And while you're at it, pointing out logical fallacies in their dogmas. Clever. And despite all this, it is never overwhelming or obtuse. Within a few hours you should be able to connect all the dots and feel satisfied both in your intellectual prowess, but also in seeing how such a project came together splendidly. Just don't expect the dazzling pomp of Outer Wilds.
8/10
33. Splatterhouse
Combat can hardly be any simpler: jump, kick, punch, or swing a weapon. Still surprisingly effective at offering a bit of a challenge. Obviously, this is played for cheap scares contained in a 16-bit side scroller. Again, quite effective and often fun to see. Is it worth your time though? As a standalone experience, no. But as an artifact to see what was possible with an 80's arcade cabinet? Sure.
5/10
Like Inside and Cocoon, the puzzles are just barely difficult enough to stump you for a moment. What makes them engaging is that there's no real universal playbook for all of them. Sometimes you'll solve one by understanding physics, another one by understanding the nature of spiders, and another by finding out what a switch does. There's also a layer of narrative interpretation, something about feeling guilty for killing your sister or something, but please don't write an article on this. Just slightly mindlessly stroll through this one for a couple of hours.
6/10
35. How Do You Do It?
Considering how badly sex is represented in video games, this one gets kudos for exploring sexuality in video form, albeit through the eyes of a kid who has no idea what sex is. And dolls that are functionally sexless. The point is frustration: in this three-minute "simulation", only questions are raised, and definitely no satisfaction, whether intellectual, spiritual, or physical. Just like every other video game. This leaves the player begging the question: is it the medium's fault? Or what we make of it?
7/10
36. Kingdom Hearts
Strip away the Disney sight-seeing and you're left with a really bad action-rpg. Combat is shallow, platforming is headache inducing, the frame-rate is viscous, and the story has the depth of a Little Golden Book. The way the PS2's lighting subdues primary colors is more saddening that the plot. And yet, the fact that there are no enemies in the Hundred Acre Wood is a touching detail. It's always tragic when a work's best feature is reminding the user how great the works are it's based on.
3/10
