Looking for advice on dealing with brothers loss

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ElkinFencer10
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Re: Looking for advice on dealing with brothers loss

Post by ElkinFencer10 »

Have you spoken with your priest? I'm an agnostic and grew up protestant, so I don't know the specifics of how Catholicism and Protestantism tend to differ with regard to death (though I can't imagine it's a big difference), but talking with your priest might help you find some peace and closure. Just a thought. We're all here for you, whatever you need, buddy.
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noiseredux
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Re: Looking for advice on dealing with brothers loss

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Wishing you the best, mas.
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stickem
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Re: Looking for advice on dealing with brothers loss

Post by stickem »

I don't know if it ever "gets better" you just learn how to deal with it. Me and my wife lost a 2 week old daughter and a 2 month old son to sids 16 and 14 years ago. It's just an ass kicker for life. Most couples wouldn't last through that but we just relied on each other, no therapist. And yeah for awhile I was mad at the world, god and relived the nightmare of giving my son cpr on the way to the hospital every day. I just remember the good times and accept what happened. Every few months, yeah I break down. But for the most part Ive learned to deal with our loss. We've since have a 5 and 11 year old daughters. To make matters worse my daughter died on my mother's bday and my son was born on a daughter from a previous marriage bday and died on my son's bday from that same previous marriage. Hope you the best getting over your loss bro
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jmbarnes101
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Re: Looking for advice on dealing with brothers loss

Post by jmbarnes101 »

I'm always here to talk. I know it sucks right now but take it day by day and eventually you'll get better. I've lost 3 of my 4 grandparents, an uncle, and my dad. My dad passed away a little over 12 years ago when my oldest was 1. I've also gone through a divorce which is very similar to a death, that one hit me hard. I'm now in a place where I'm ok but it took a long time. It does get better though at times all you see is darkness. At times I just got through by living for my kids or tried to just do something in public so that I was surrounded by people even if I didn't know them. I was diagnosed with depression which helped a lot, though the medication made things worse. I truly believe God got me through everything that's happened to me over the last 12 years, I wouldn't be here otherwise. Turn to him for strength.

I made some very stupid emotional mistakes and got rid of stuff I regret because at the time I just wanted it gone. I got rid of a lot of key Marvel and DC comics like first appearances of Wolverine, Batgirl, Silver Surfer, Galactus, Kang, etc... I sold them for pennies on the dollar and truly regret it. Don't make important decisions or sell stuff off that you might regret or have an emotional attachment to. Instead box it up and put it away for a while until the emotions have gotten better. You're getting good support though and have people who love you and will be there for you. Take advantage of them as much as possible and lean on them for support. They won't judge you and you'll need them. You'll get through this.
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Re: Looking for advice on dealing with brothers loss

Post by mas »

Going to be seeing a therapist today. Hopefully she will help out. Been doing ok for a few days now except for when I went to my brothers gravesite. But I guess that's normal. Anyways off to the therapist.
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