Jobs you originally liked/got burnt out/when to quit?

[racketboy]

Hey guys -- feels like a long time I've done a forum post about a purely personal thing vs something gaming/hobby related...

So I've been working at this non-profit for almost 5 years. It's technically part-time, but for a while it was 40+ hours a week -- only broken up by COVID and then me finding another part-time teammate to divide/complement my work. I also do freelance work and work on stuff like writing for the site (the 40+ hour weeks are what often keep me from writing)

I really love the mission of the place -- it provides affordable after-school arts education (visual arts, theater, dance, etc) and gives scholarships to low-income families.

I hired on as part-time as that's what I wanted. I also had done some volunteer work there a while back and had a good connection with my first boss there.

It's really messy, but long story short, my boss, who I really liked was forced out. My new boss (for the last two years) isn't terrible, but we've never quite hit it off despite my work quality and output improving over the years. My marketing and graphic design work has also helped us significantly for fundraising for a new building and then helped double enrollment (we're now almost maxed out in our new building space after less than a year). I constantly get compliments for my work from outside and get some nice referrals for freelance.

I've tried to stick it out for the past year or two as I've continued to get frustrated. Between the mission and me having a very flexible work arrangement, it's hard to part ways. Oh I should also mention that this is the lowest-paying gig I've had since high school. I knew that going in and was fine with it for quite a while. But now, it just makes me resentful when things irritate me.

Anyway, I could go into way more detail about things that bug me, but that's only going to accomplish so much...

Anyway... I'm curious if any of you have had similar experiences.
How long did you end up holding out before leaving?
What things did you try to do to remedy, if anything?

I'm thinking I might try to do another year -- I'd like to fully train my teammate to handle more of the duties, but she also does freelance photography and design and I know she isn't looking for too much heavier of a load either.

I'm also thinking mid-year of asking for a substantial raise. I always looked at me taking a lower rate as being like a "donation", but after 5 years, I think I've hit the max on that part...

I'm not looking for anyone to fix my problem, but I just need to vent and I'd love to hear other perspectives....

[MrPopo]

Honestly, you're probably already at the point that you should be looking for other gigs. Because if it was just the pay then you could try the "ask for a raise" option. But it's sounding like there are other factors that are bumming you out, like the boss you're just not gelling with. And the only way that sort of stuff gets fixed is by one of you moving. One thing I will definitely say is don't fall into a trap of "well, I'll stick it out X more months to meet this goal" because I guarantee when that time frame passes you'll still have the same feelings and will also still a new excuse to set a different goal that pushes the date out further.

[prfsnl_gmr]

Yeah. You’re burnt out. You should start looking for another job, but don’t get frustrated if you don’t find something immediately. More jobs will start posting in the first quarter. Also, you shouldn’t necessarily jump on the first thing you find. You should think critically about what you like (or liked) about your current job, and what you don’t like about your current job, and what your career goals, and then try to find something that’s the best fit for you.

Whatever you do, don’t overstay your current role out of a sense of loyalty. You’ve given the non-profit years or service, and they’ll undoubtedly find someone to do your work when you’re gone (i.e., the place won’t collapse just because you go).

Good luck!

[racketboy]

Well, I think the main motivators to stick out for a little while at least is to

a) Train my teammate to get her more comfortable with the tasks she hasn't really done yet -- I also need to get all my huge archives of files organized so she doesn't have to do everything from scratch. There's a lot of seasonal workflow, so that factors in.

b) save up some cash so I feel more comfortable switching to mainly freelance plus RB etc. I've reduced my weekly hours to the 20-hour range just recently (although I did have a couple of 30s lately) and hoping to have it under 20 on average soon. I'm also nervous that I wouldn't be able to find a more typical part-time gig that is as flexible and not have the same issues. (Trying to avoid the grass-is-always-greener issue). Having a family to support also adds a little pressure in this regard.

The sad thing is I REALLY like the job itself. Like any job, there are some tedious tasks mixed in, but in a lot of ways it's really great aside from not making a big pay check.

I think my other problem is that I think I get too emotionally invested in the work/projects. So if I'm really passionate about my contribution, but then the follow-through from others isn't adequate, I get frustrated. A lot of that emotional stuff is probably my fault. I've been kinda hoping that reduced hours will help reduce that emotional over-connection, if that makes sense.

[racketboy]

I should also mention that I was thinking of all putting out some goals and boundaries when I theoretically asked for the raise.

Again, I wasn't initially planning on giving too much detail, but my current boss has a habit of texting random non-urgent things when I'm on vacation, evenings, weekends, among other management annoyances. I think maybe if I set some clear boundaries and transition my teammate to the primary contact, that could help things possibly...

[Ziggy]

I've been in a few toxic jobs. I think Popo is right. If you're posting this, then mentally you're already gone. One thing you have to understand, even if it's still hard to overcome once you understand it, is the "devil you know" aspect of staying at a job. What if you take a new job and it's even worse than what you have now? The regret of leaving would be unreal! But you can't let that keep you from moving on. You don't have to take the first job you come across. You can still stay at your current job for another year, if that's how long it takes to find a job you feel comfortable leaving for (things such as pay and schedule). Don't mistake what I'm saying, I'm not trying to patronize you with advice I'm sure you're well aware of. But the devil you know makes you FORGET this, day to day. It's so easy to go to work each day, thinking or hoping that it might get better. Next week, or next month. But remember, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”

I have a tendency to stay at a job I hate for a long time. But I had a co-worker say something to me once. It was so simple, yet so profound. He said, "If I don't like where I live, I'll move. If I don't like my job, I'll get another job." Like it's just that simple LOL. To most of use, it just isn't that simple. But why not? If you don't like your job, then get another job. Simple as that.

That's nice that you care for your coworker, but to put it bluntly, that's definitely not a reason to stay at a job. She will be alright if you leave. It's not your responsibility to make sure she's trained well enough to carry on in your absence. I left a job in early 2020, and I felt really bad leaving my guys in the deep end. But they're all doing great, one of which was my successor and is still there today.

It sucks, but if you have to ASK for a raise, then you're never in a good position. You're either under valued, or your desired salary just isn't in the company's budget (we'll assume it isn't that the owner is a tight wad or you're horrible at your job). But either way, if that's where you're at, then it's time to move on.

I would say, don't WASTE another year at this job. That doesn't mean you can't BE there for another year, just don't waste it! Start casually looking. You wont find that perfect replacement unless you're looking. And looking doesn't mean you HAVE to leave. Heck, even if you take an interview, that still doesn't mean you have to leave.

I'm pretty tired right now, so sorry if this post isn't so coherent.

[Ziggy]

I should also mention that I was thinking of all putting out some goals and boundaries when I theoretically asked for the raise.

I was going to say, I think it's important for employer and employee to be fully transparent with each other. Too many people are worried about sparing people's feelings, but that's never a good thing. You should be very open with what your personal goals are for salary and career path. But of course, use your head, you know the situation best.

Again, I wasn't initially planning on giving too much detail, but my current boss has a habit of texting random non-urgent things when I'm on vacation, evenings, weekends, among other management annoyances. I think maybe if I set some clear boundaries and transition my teammate to the primary contact, that could help things possibly...

OK, that sucks. I had a very toxic job that was constantly texting/calling/emailing me during off hours. Of course, I was salary, so that makes it OK (but it doesn't). Some people are truly workaholics, and they just don't get it. You need work/life separation, but they can't understand that. "It's just a simple text" is what they think. Sorry, I don't want to be thinking about work when I'm trying to fall asleep. Or with my family on a holiday or vacation. And ESPECIALLY if your pay isn't that much.

[opa]

I don't have anything to add that the others haven't already stated. I'm going through the same thing right now. Low pay, tired of the crap from the job, etc. I'm in school to do something else now.
Just logged in to say good luck and hope you find something that works for you!

[bmoc]

Since I also worked at a nonprofit, maybe my story will help. Some of this I have posted before but some of it is new.

I worked at my last job (Higher Ed IT) for over 20 years. It started out great. Good hours, awesome coworkers, laid-back atmosphere, casual dress code. The pay was not fantastic and raises were infrequent. Over time, the things that were great about it either lost their luster or were taken away completely. Hours were increased. The dress code was changed. Most of my great (and most talented) coworkers moved on to other things. The people that were hired to replace them (if they were replaced at all) were often green and lacking in essential skills. The training budget was next to nothing so skillsets only marginally improved.

In 2019, the only guy that had been there longer than me finally quit. My boss wanted me to take over his responsibilities which were substantially harder. We had conversations about timeline and the potential salary range. Things seemed to be lining up for me to get a significant raise for taking on these duties. The day finally came when my boss made me an offer and it was at the very bottom of the range we had discussed. Having lost count of how many years it had been since getting a raise, I knew that I would have to aim higher or be perpetually underpaid. He was not willing to go any higher so I politely declined.

The next day he came into my office and told me that my current position was being cut and that I either had to take the new position or find other employment. The area we lived in did not have many decent paying jobs and even few IT jobs. My home internet was barely functional at the time so remote work was not an option. My in-laws had just moved nearby a year or two prior so I felt a lot of pressure to make it work. So I went to my boss with a compromise which he accepted. I would split the offered raise with one of my coworkers and we would cross-train. We'd be underpaid but at least we could take a vacation without getting called to fix something (a regular occurrence with my longtime coworker that had just left). If I had known then what I know now, I would have let them fire me and get unemployment.

I did not realize what a monumental asshole my boss's boss (the provost) was. I am 99% certain that it was his idea to force that ultimatum on me. Had I not been there so long, he probably would have fired me for having the audacity to request a salary approaching market value. My wife also worked at the same place and this guy had it out for her department as well. Long story short, the provost weaponized student complaints to demote someone in my wife's department (the complaints did not warrant a demotion). He then tried unsuccessfully to hide this change in leadership from an accrediting body. My wife correctly reported the change in leadership, as she had done my other changes in the department, and the provost was livid. He took something my wife said in an email out of context to fire her. I suspect he threw her under the bus with the accrediting body.

The following month, the pandemic hit. With the uncertainty surrounding the pandemic, I was really stuck now. With how my wife and I had been treated, I was beyond angry. All that plus moving classes to remote learning and employees to WFH - I was burning out fast. There were some weeks when I was pulling 14 hour shifts to fix various problems all the while trying to keep an eye on my kids who were home because their schools were closed. Anxiety took hold really hard and I eventually had to start taking medication so I could get some sleep. Eventually, I was able to report the unethical things that the provost did to HR without fear of being fired. I had hard evidence too but nothing was done about it. That was really the last straw that kicked my search for a new job into high gear.

My current job pays way better and is far less stressful. I even recently got a decent merit raise! That never happened at my old job. I'm almost making what I originally asked for back in 2019 and this position is way way easier. I haven't had to take any anxiety/sleeping medication in over a year. If I had it to do all over again, I should have left in 2019 when my job was threatened. That was seriously uncool and a sign of things to come. I thought I would get some certifications out of them before I found another job but they worked me far too hard so there was not time to study or take the exams while on the clock.

My advice is to start seriously looking for a new job sooner rather than later. Nonprofits can be very protective of what little money they have and if that place is as toxic as it sounds, asking for a raise probably won't work out in your favor. Don't be afraid to move if your situation will allow for it. Don't stick around on behalf of your coworkers either. Expect them to lookout for themselves and you should do the same. There are no prizes for being the last one off a sinking ship. I've learned these lessons the hard way.

[PretentiousHipster]

I'm mainly on disability because my mental health reached the point where I can't work full-time hours. Accounting was the big thing that did that.

Unfortunately my holding out were the worst methods possible, and it happened 4 times. I smoked weed a lot for stress, which for a family history of severe mental illness and at that time being unaware of my issues gave me my first few episodes of psychosis. Later on it was mostly just an impulsive "hey just try killing yourself. That's easier than quitting" and then me attempting it a few minutes later.

Now, physical and mental reactions from stress happen so easily that even 16 hours a week of work can be too much for me.

What is the point of this post? I guess if you ever get that sign to get out, at the very least look for something else at the same time, because you will get desperate eventually, mental health issues or not.