First year anniversary of losing my brother sucks
Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2017 7:28 am
As of Saturday afternoon at 12:10 est On the 27th of aug 2016. My wife and I went to my moms to hear her screaming it's my boy that's my baby. I walked in saying hear I am to see my mom in tears saying something happened to rich. Rich was always the big joker and I'm like yeah right then reality set in and something was wrong.
My mom was saying she got a call from my sister in law saying rich is going to the hospital. My mom said what's wrong with him to further hav found out that kelly believes he died in his sleep.
I had to call the hospital and call my brother ray with his wife. I called my brother first then called the hospital. Once I got the doctor to confirm it just me dropping the phone and breaking down and telling my mom he had passed and to see my dad break down to having to tell my brother ray was the hardest thing I've done.
Sunday will be a year. Much has changed. For me I got and received a lot of good and love from Racketboy. I get a great promotion at my job to leave it for a better job to getting fired to going back to my old job as a new employee and everything is taken away from me with 8.00 less an hr. I'm happy they took me back but that's been very hard for me to swallow as of late.
I also sold off my game room to help with the bills because I didn't get unemployment. Some people hear helped me so thank you. I only have the master system and nes like I said and those games. And now with my pay hurting so much I've decided that I can't collect for a long time. Not until this adjustment have been settled.
My wife and I are doing great and kids are going good as well. They hardly even talk about rich anymore which I think is a good thing I guess.
My brother ray only been to the cemetery once. He's taking it different and just blocking a lot with work and such. He never brings him up which sucks because I would love to hear about those two and his stories.
My sister in law moved out of the house, got a new one moved to another city closer, but his daughter has been through a lot. In one year she lost her home, moved to a new school, lost her friends, and lost her daddy. Now I don't hear much from them and I try to reach out also.
My life without rich sucks. I can't get the picture of his body laying there at the hospital cold and not moving when he was nothing but a 315 lb guy full of life. I see his Facebook page all the time and a couple of videos that has him and hearing his voice.
I can't explain how empty it's been and now the days are getting closer I cry every day for rich. I really wish he can come to me or let me see him or talk to me in a dream. I want my life back on track but it never will. I've pretty much stopped doing everything I loved a year prior. Loved working out, playing and collecting games, eating healthy and promising rich and my family I would take care of myself and I've gained 40lb since then and just have no drive.
Maybe this is called depression I'm not sure. But I really am empty and have no will for it but to just see my family is good.
I'm telling Racketboy this because this is my second family and I've made very good friends here. Enjoy ever minute of life with your family. Because unlike 24 months ago during Christmas I have lost my cat of 20 years spazz, my uncle frank, my uncle butchie, my brother rich, and his dog of ten years Zeus lol yes he named him after the wrestler Zeus. I see a pic of just 24 months and it seems so fast and short of 3 people and two loved animals are gone.
As I tear up saying this be good to one and another. Call your brother or sister or mom and dad or grandmother or grandfather or boyfriend girlfriend wife or husband or anyone close like your best friend. Tell the you love them and hug them and cherish each moment because in a blink they will be gone and you want them to know that they are loved and enjoyed and thank them for everything they do on this earth.
My mom was saying she got a call from my sister in law saying rich is going to the hospital. My mom said what's wrong with him to further hav found out that kelly believes he died in his sleep.
I had to call the hospital and call my brother ray with his wife. I called my brother first then called the hospital. Once I got the doctor to confirm it just me dropping the phone and breaking down and telling my mom he had passed and to see my dad break down to having to tell my brother ray was the hardest thing I've done.
Sunday will be a year. Much has changed. For me I got and received a lot of good and love from Racketboy. I get a great promotion at my job to leave it for a better job to getting fired to going back to my old job as a new employee and everything is taken away from me with 8.00 less an hr. I'm happy they took me back but that's been very hard for me to swallow as of late.
I also sold off my game room to help with the bills because I didn't get unemployment. Some people hear helped me so thank you. I only have the master system and nes like I said and those games. And now with my pay hurting so much I've decided that I can't collect for a long time. Not until this adjustment have been settled.
My wife and I are doing great and kids are going good as well. They hardly even talk about rich anymore which I think is a good thing I guess.
My brother ray only been to the cemetery once. He's taking it different and just blocking a lot with work and such. He never brings him up which sucks because I would love to hear about those two and his stories.
My sister in law moved out of the house, got a new one moved to another city closer, but his daughter has been through a lot. In one year she lost her home, moved to a new school, lost her friends, and lost her daddy. Now I don't hear much from them and I try to reach out also.
My life without rich sucks. I can't get the picture of his body laying there at the hospital cold and not moving when he was nothing but a 315 lb guy full of life. I see his Facebook page all the time and a couple of videos that has him and hearing his voice.
I can't explain how empty it's been and now the days are getting closer I cry every day for rich. I really wish he can come to me or let me see him or talk to me in a dream. I want my life back on track but it never will. I've pretty much stopped doing everything I loved a year prior. Loved working out, playing and collecting games, eating healthy and promising rich and my family I would take care of myself and I've gained 40lb since then and just have no drive.
Maybe this is called depression I'm not sure. But I really am empty and have no will for it but to just see my family is good.
I'm telling Racketboy this because this is my second family and I've made very good friends here. Enjoy ever minute of life with your family. Because unlike 24 months ago during Christmas I have lost my cat of 20 years spazz, my uncle frank, my uncle butchie, my brother rich, and his dog of ten years Zeus lol yes he named him after the wrestler Zeus. I see a pic of just 24 months and it seems so fast and short of 3 people and two loved animals are gone.
As I tear up saying this be good to one and another. Call your brother or sister or mom and dad or grandmother or grandfather or boyfriend girlfriend wife or husband or anyone close like your best friend. Tell the you love them and hug them and cherish each moment because in a blink they will be gone and you want them to know that they are loved and enjoyed and thank them for everything they do on this earth.