First, yes, we do enjoy special perks and benefits of being moderators, most importantly being the super secret Moderator Forum, where we talk about which of you we like, and more importantly, which of you will be next in line for the torture racks.
The actual Mod forum
But we're all nice, perfectly normal folks, honest! Just because we happen to rule with an iron first, have inch-thick files on each of you(including full medical and sexual histories, credit scores, and embarrassing baby photos), and rest happily on thrones built from the skulls of former members(anybody remember Doctor Fugue?), doesn't mean we aren't normal guys you can share a beer with as we quietly wait to lure you into a dark alley so we can drain all your blood. Just like any other perfectly normal person!
Yes, we dine in luxury while making sure you unwashed peasant masses are fed on the dirt from beneath our boots like the peons you are. Yes, we maintain extensive torture rooms and plot the demise of each and every one of you. Yes, we hunger for the day we can split you open and play childish games with your internal organs. But we're people too! And we have feelings!
Just look at this staff photo we took with both the current and former moderation staff:
I even marked most of the folks in the photo for you! See how friendly we are?
We try to keep things running smoothly around here. We try very hard. We're not perfect, because we're all just human beings. So please, understand that we have thoughts and opinions of our own, but please continue to bring us your miniscule, pathetic problems, worms. We'll be happy to handle them for you. And please remember that we want to be your friends and also wear your skin like a tuxedo.
