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avrame wrote:Seriously, the purpose of a parental figure is to enforce the ideal that one earns a living by reaping the benefits of a hard day's work. You worked for that money, you bought that item, she had no right/reason to sell it without your consent.

When I was younger, my parents would give me allowance, and get angry at me if I spent it unwisely. Fast forward a few years, I worked for money, spent it unwisely, my parents said nothing about it aside from 'it's your money'. Fast forward a week, and my car is stuck at work in the parking lot with a empty tank of gas. I asked my parents for gas money, and they just replied 'you spent your money unwisely.' Shit, that taught a lot to me, despite the fact that I was mad as hell and had to walk home.

What sense does it make for her to sell your stuff without warning? What does it teach you? Goddamn, this entire topic makes me rack my brain in saying 'What was she thinking?'

Never ask the parents for money in that scenario, I always call a buddy

I'm sorry man. That's just wrong. It makes me really appreciate my mom all the more. After reading your post I felt compelled to find her and give her a hug just for the simple act of respecting my stuff. (BTW, I let her read your post, as well as several others, and she agreed with the majority of the posts in that what your mother did was wrong and inappropriate. "If he bought it with his money, it's his. End of story.".....And she thought taking her to see "the judge lady" on tv was funny.)

I think she gets it more, since I've always known that she felt singled out as the bad seed of one of four children. I know it's not done, but you should treat both children equally, and not disrespect one while trying to appease another. My mom's always tried to respect my privacy and my opinions on things. Because she was treated poorly she want's to make sure she doesn't treat me the same way.

Sadly, your mom seems to have overlooked examples that could be viewed on any generic family sitcom, and completely ignored your feelings and opinions. She's labeled the house, "hers" and not "ours". I kind of wonder if that's the way she was treated when she was younger or if it has more to do with the recent surge of emotions brought on by the events regarding your brother. Either way, I think you've chosen a good first step in deciding to keep your collection of games at your friends house. I assume you've already told him, but just make sure he knows (and maybe even tell his parents if you think you can) that your mother is not allowed to get near them. And remember this incident for the future, if you ever have children of your own, of how not to act. Good luck.

MrPopo wrote:

k.vlaros wrote:So let me get this straight:

While your sick younger sibling is struggling, and your mom is running out of money ("she doesn't always have the money to get these things"), you are buying yourself Blurays and $200 video games.

Why is it his responsibility to take care of his mom? He is the dependent, not her.

Exactly. It's her responsibility to take care of her own children. And if she was running out of money, do you think she would have used to to buy a DS?

dsheinem wrote:If she is constantly selling your stuff it sounds like she can't handle her own finances in any way, and it maybe borders on parental negligence and (emotional) abuse. If you wanted her to "learn her lesson" you could try to get her some help via appropriate agencies (the kind route) or get the authorities involved (the not so kind route). I am guessing that you probably love your mom but find this behavior disappointing and perhaps surprising. You don't want her to go to jail, you don't want to have her fined, etc.

I would try to get her some help. Throw her ass in your car and drive her somewhere where other adults can intervene and explain to her why her behavior is wrong, what the consequences could be, and how to get help with financial matters. Storing your stuff at a friend's place is a good stop-gap measure, but it won't address the deeper problem.

I agree with this more than anything else in this thread.

I really don't think your mom believes she is doing wrong and harming you. I have no proof for that statement, but as someone who deals with many kid-parent relationships on a daily basis more times than not the parent thinks they are doing the right thing.
This may be a case where she thinks you are doing well off and wouldn't mind helping out your brother, but her assumption is wrong and hurtful. I can't help but think that it a "screw over those who are close or love you because you know they will still be there" type of situation. In the end she is wrong and I am not standing up for her, I just think that she doesn't see it the way you (and most of us) do.

Like I said, I am no expert I am just calling it as I see it based on previous knowledge, but I would really strongly consider Dsheinem's advise.

Leaving it at your friend's house is a good idea for now. I agree with what Dave and Spacebooger are saying as well. I would go to whoever you bought the game from, explain, and try and get it back if they haven't gone around and sold it already.

I'm sorry to hear that man. I'm 16 and what I've done to keep my parents is put a lock on the door. It's been 6 months and been fairly successful so far.

Haha, the wonders of adding a lock to your door...

In my experience, it does more harm than good. It openly expresses distrust in your parents, and allows them to question what you are doing in your room that requires a lock. Just my opinion, but if you need to resort to putting a lock on your room, there is some sort of boundary issues that can be settled with a little chat

I'm glad my parents were chill and great role models for me. Now I know that the stock market is rarely worth the stress it puts you through

I agree with the guy who said to invest in a safe. Keep the only key on your aforementioned car keys since she can't get them.

Ivo wrote:People we all need to calm down.
Do not forget he IS living at HER house (from what we know) so "solutions" like putting a lock in the bedroom are not really the way to go.

There are clearly other issues at hand as well and maybe the mom is having a hard time managing stuff with this guy's brother. It doesn't excuse her behaviour, particularly as it is not the first time and all that. He does not seem to want to go into more details which is pretty understandable, so lets not judge that much without knowing more.

Ivo.

QFT.

It's really shitty what his mom did, but she is housing and presumably feeding him. She's not a random roommate stealing, she's his mother.

Regardless, definitely store your stuff somewhere else and let your mom know that what she took from you was valuable and important to you. Sorry about what happened; I'd be pissed too.

mluitjens1031 wrote:Seeing how it's not really my brother's fault I can't blame him or take the DS, so if I have to store my whole collection in my friends house to protect it, then so be it.

Personally, I wouldn't have any moral problem taking your MOM'S DS back from your brother (your mother has already established that everything your brother has is HERS) and selling it for as much as you can. The only real problem here is that it could damage your relationship with your brother. Is he understanding of the situation at all? Probably not best to "re-steal", but good grief...

Is it feasible for you to live on your own, or with your father (is he with your mom?), a grandparent, aunt, uncle, friend, etc.? This sounds like a VERY unhealthy relationship that you have at home with your mom. Moving out might be in your best interest.

Okay, on to read page 2 of the thread and on!

Dsheinem wrote:If she is constantly selling your stuff it sounds like she can't handle her own finances in any way, and it maybe borders on parental negligence and (emotional) abuse. If you wanted her to "learn her lesson" you could try to get her some help via appropriate agencies (the kind route) or get the authorities involved (the not so kind route). I am guessing that you probably love your mom but find this behavior disappointing and perhaps surprising. You don't want her to go to jail, you don't want to have her fined, etc.

I would try to get her some help. Throw her ass in your car and drive her somewhere where other adults can intervene and explain to her why her behavior is wrong, what the consequences could be, and how to get help with financial matters. Storing your stuff at a friend's place is a good stop-gap measure, but it won't address the deeper problem.

This sounds like possibly good advice here. Consider taking it.

avrame wrote:Haha, the wonders of adding a lock to your door...

In my experience, it does more harm than good. It openly expresses distrust in your parents, and allows them to question what you are doing in your room that requires a lock. Just my opinion, but if you need to resort to putting a lock on your room, there is some sort of boundary issues that can be settled with a little chat

Also good advice here. A lock on your door might be a good idea, but it will most likely just make things worse. Just move out, ASAP. It might not be a bad idea to talk to an authority. Do you have any friends with lawyer parents you trust?

Depending on where you live you should look into public storage. I live in New York City so I have them everywhere. From your location underneath your avatar you live in SoCal right? I'm sure there's got to be something there. It's fine that your friend has your collection but I'd go to Staples, grab some heavy duty containers, and store it in the trunk of your car if it's feasible for you. Friends are cool and all but that can only go so far. Food for thought.