What's the worst thing you've ever done?
Re: What's the worst thing you've ever done?
I am sickened and my conscientious view of the average man has been shattered. I think we can say that the only evil acts that an layman will do(ordinary people) is cheat on their friends/spouse. Terrible, at least my system of evil was equittable and fair.
You know that story, about how NASA spent millions of dollars developing this pen that writes in Zero G? Did you ever read that?
You know how the Russians solved the problem?
They used a pencil.
You know how the Russians solved the problem?
They used a pencil.
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lordofduct
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 2907
- Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:57 pm
- Location: West Palm Beach
Re: What's the worst thing you've ever done?
oh oh evil evil!
This one chick who was like... obsessed with me or something. Well she followed me around and the sort trying to get with me all the time.
This one night my buddy and I were smoking salvia and I went out for like 5 minutes. In that 5 minutes my buddy got up to take a shower and this girl came through my door and just got on top of me and started making out. I came to really confused as to what the hell was going on.
Another time she called my friend after I moved and conned my new address out of him. She showed up and crawled through my florida slant windows (these things open vertically and you don't get a lot of space to squeeze through), crawls in my bed and again starts fooling around with me in my sleep.
CREEPY
anyways, this one night she shows up at my house when we were having a console LAN party. We had TVs set up all over the house and like 12 XBOX's. It was a lot of fun. Anyways I go and take a shower and she shows up. I heard her in the living room chatting with my buddy Brian... he had invited her because he wanted in her pants BAD. Anyways I was shaving and clipping my toenails and shit and I decide to have fun.
I walk into the living room and sit next to the girl.
"Hey **name omitted**, how you've been?"
"fine, the usual... missed ya... blah blah."
"Well I got you something. It's a treat. Open your mouth."
"Ummm... what is it?"
"just open"
"Dylan, what is it???" she opens her mouth, and I place it in there. She sits there chewing it for a little while with this weird look on her face and I'm just giggling.
"What is it!?"
Brian my buddy says, "Knowing Dylan it's probably his toe nails or something."
I couldn't hold the laughter in anymore and I was just on the floor.
Anyways weeks later she calls me like 2 days after my birthday. I was ill with pneumonia (I have chronic pneumonia, had it for years) and at the hospital. She was telling me she stopped by to give me a birthday present. I explained I'm out for the day and probably won't be home for a LONG time.
Bitch waited 5 hours until I got home. Just sitting on my stoop. She hands me my present and I just take it and walk past her. My brother Dex says, "All right you can leave."
"Huh, I didn't even get a hug."
"Hoe, we don't like your nasty ass, get out of here." responds my brother.
After some reluctance I give her a hug and get her the hell out of my house. I read the card that comes with it:
MATH LOVING BABY!!! AGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
To give her some benefit... she wasn't a complete freak or anything. She just read me wrong. See I'm ACTUALLY a pretty nice guy (I know... who'd a thunk it?). I meet this girl because she called my friend to help her with her car. I went with him and repaired it for her (it was her alternator, easy fix). Then 2 weeks later her tranny stopped working (stupid Saturns), it was just the rod that connected the stick to the gear box... so I fixed that as well. I invited her to a party or something at my house, she knew my friends and stuff... I saw no harm in it. In my book I did nothing special for her, this is stuff I do for anyone. I can be very pleasant to talk to and I like to engage conversation a lot. Especially about Math, which this girl dug. I just wasn't actually interested in her... she read all that the wrong way... very understandable, from her point of view I could see where she was coming from.
But come on, after like the the eleventh time I say, "NO", you should get the freakin' clue! Sorry, now you get to eat my toenails.
This one chick who was like... obsessed with me or something. Well she followed me around and the sort trying to get with me all the time.
This one night my buddy and I were smoking salvia and I went out for like 5 minutes. In that 5 minutes my buddy got up to take a shower and this girl came through my door and just got on top of me and started making out. I came to really confused as to what the hell was going on.
Another time she called my friend after I moved and conned my new address out of him. She showed up and crawled through my florida slant windows (these things open vertically and you don't get a lot of space to squeeze through), crawls in my bed and again starts fooling around with me in my sleep.
CREEPY
anyways, this one night she shows up at my house when we were having a console LAN party. We had TVs set up all over the house and like 12 XBOX's. It was a lot of fun. Anyways I go and take a shower and she shows up. I heard her in the living room chatting with my buddy Brian... he had invited her because he wanted in her pants BAD. Anyways I was shaving and clipping my toenails and shit and I decide to have fun.
I walk into the living room and sit next to the girl.
"Hey **name omitted**, how you've been?"
"fine, the usual... missed ya... blah blah."
"Well I got you something. It's a treat. Open your mouth."
"Ummm... what is it?"
"just open"
"Dylan, what is it???" she opens her mouth, and I place it in there. She sits there chewing it for a little while with this weird look on her face and I'm just giggling.
"What is it!?"
Brian my buddy says, "Knowing Dylan it's probably his toe nails or something."
I couldn't hold the laughter in anymore and I was just on the floor.
Anyways weeks later she calls me like 2 days after my birthday. I was ill with pneumonia (I have chronic pneumonia, had it for years) and at the hospital. She was telling me she stopped by to give me a birthday present. I explained I'm out for the day and probably won't be home for a LONG time.
Bitch waited 5 hours until I got home. Just sitting on my stoop. She hands me my present and I just take it and walk past her. My brother Dex says, "All right you can leave."
"Huh, I didn't even get a hug."
"Hoe, we don't like your nasty ass, get out of here." responds my brother.
After some reluctance I give her a hug and get her the hell out of my house. I read the card that comes with it:
MATH LOVING BABY!!! AGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
To give her some benefit... she wasn't a complete freak or anything. She just read me wrong. See I'm ACTUALLY a pretty nice guy (I know... who'd a thunk it?). I meet this girl because she called my friend to help her with her car. I went with him and repaired it for her (it was her alternator, easy fix). Then 2 weeks later her tranny stopped working (stupid Saturns), it was just the rod that connected the stick to the gear box... so I fixed that as well. I invited her to a party or something at my house, she knew my friends and stuff... I saw no harm in it. In my book I did nothing special for her, this is stuff I do for anyone. I can be very pleasant to talk to and I like to engage conversation a lot. Especially about Math, which this girl dug. I just wasn't actually interested in her... she read all that the wrong way... very understandable, from her point of view I could see where she was coming from.
But come on, after like the the eleventh time I say, "NO", you should get the freakin' clue! Sorry, now you get to eat my toenails.
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ThunderPrince
- 24-bit
- Posts: 186
- Joined: Fri Nov 28, 2008 5:07 pm
Re: What's the worst thing you've ever done?
I hurt a toad really bad when I was a little kid. I didn't know any better. I probably broke its leg or something. I don't know. I feel horrible. I have done some dickish things but nothing compares to the guilt I feel for hurting that toad.
Re: What's the worst thing you've ever done?
Dialogue has been altered to help progress the story quicker
It was a cold winter. my self, and two buddies. need a place to drink, make noise and cause trouble.
"Dont you both work at the movie theater? Isn't it closed by now?" I inquired
"Not really closed. Theyre having some private screenings of movies that havent been released to the public yet" Bill replied
"We do have the codes to get access to the staff lounge though" Ted stated, "So as long as we stay out of the actual cinemas we'll be cool. Since theyre still in there, mostly everything will be unlocked"
So were in the staff lounge drinking and eating popcorn, playing some of the shitty arcade games that you would only find at a movie theater. Cant remember what they were exactly, they were definitely crappy though. Buttons were sticking, lack of response from the joystick...the games themselves were awful. Awful enough that I would rather piss on them, then play thm. So I did.
Little did I know that the simple gesture of relieving myself on a crappy arcade cabinet (I really cant stress how crappy they were. I WOULD NEVER sully the sanctity of a good Cab) would set the tone of the night.
My friends are in hysterics, rolling around the floor laughing, and crying.
Bill cries out in between bursts of laughter, "im gonna piss myself!"
"So use the arcade cabinet!" Ted shouts
"I dont wanna have my junk around Remy's"
"So then use a couch or something, you damn homophobe" I point out
Boy did we wreck that place. Feces and urine EVERYWHERE. We wanted to be sanitary so we snuck into the washrooms (it was an afterthought. We were definitely inebriated). Trying to be cautious of the cameras we made sure to use our Solid Snake Tactical Espionage skills; Rolling down the corridors, and hugging walls. Once we got into the washroom Bill started banging on the countertop chanting, "We're not gonna take it!"
"You're doing it all wrong!" Ted declared as he hopped onto the counter, and started stomping.
"Becareful man. I dont know how much weight those things can hold." I said as I climbed ontop
Sure enough as the three of us started jumping up and down, the entire fixture came crashing down, plumbing and all.
We grabbed our booze and took off.
A couple days later I bump into my buddy Steve, who worked at the Movie theater.
"Ey Remy. Were you at the theater over the weekend?"
"Possibly"
"Well I was shown a security tape, and you were rolling around the place like that guy from Metal Gear. You may wanna stay away from the theaters for awhile. You apparently caused more than $5000 in damages."
Fin
In retrospect I wish i didn't ruin the arcade cabs. I would have much rather disassembled them, and taken them home to fix up, and put a proper game in.
It was a cold winter. my self, and two buddies. need a place to drink, make noise and cause trouble.
"Dont you both work at the movie theater? Isn't it closed by now?" I inquired
"Not really closed. Theyre having some private screenings of movies that havent been released to the public yet" Bill replied
"We do have the codes to get access to the staff lounge though" Ted stated, "So as long as we stay out of the actual cinemas we'll be cool. Since theyre still in there, mostly everything will be unlocked"
So were in the staff lounge drinking and eating popcorn, playing some of the shitty arcade games that you would only find at a movie theater. Cant remember what they were exactly, they were definitely crappy though. Buttons were sticking, lack of response from the joystick...the games themselves were awful. Awful enough that I would rather piss on them, then play thm. So I did.
Little did I know that the simple gesture of relieving myself on a crappy arcade cabinet (I really cant stress how crappy they were. I WOULD NEVER sully the sanctity of a good Cab) would set the tone of the night.
My friends are in hysterics, rolling around the floor laughing, and crying.
Bill cries out in between bursts of laughter, "im gonna piss myself!"
"So use the arcade cabinet!" Ted shouts
"I dont wanna have my junk around Remy's"
"So then use a couch or something, you damn homophobe" I point out
Boy did we wreck that place. Feces and urine EVERYWHERE. We wanted to be sanitary so we snuck into the washrooms (it was an afterthought. We were definitely inebriated). Trying to be cautious of the cameras we made sure to use our Solid Snake Tactical Espionage skills; Rolling down the corridors, and hugging walls. Once we got into the washroom Bill started banging on the countertop chanting, "We're not gonna take it!"
"You're doing it all wrong!" Ted declared as he hopped onto the counter, and started stomping.
"Becareful man. I dont know how much weight those things can hold." I said as I climbed ontop
Sure enough as the three of us started jumping up and down, the entire fixture came crashing down, plumbing and all.
We grabbed our booze and took off.
A couple days later I bump into my buddy Steve, who worked at the Movie theater.
"Ey Remy. Were you at the theater over the weekend?"
"Possibly"
"Well I was shown a security tape, and you were rolling around the place like that guy from Metal Gear. You may wanna stay away from the theaters for awhile. You apparently caused more than $5000 in damages."
Fin
In retrospect I wish i didn't ruin the arcade cabs. I would have much rather disassembled them, and taken them home to fix up, and put a proper game in.