Having Kids - Parents chime in...

[prfsnl_gmr]

The best advice I can give is that it's ok for your child to cry him/herself to sleep. For our first kid, we rocked/held her to sleep for almost a year. I remember putting her down in her crib and she would start crying. I would pick her up and then try again 10 minutes later. You definitely don't want to get into the habit.

If the kid is fed with a clean diaper, it's ok to let it cry. The first night, s/he might cry for more than an hour. Ignore it. The next night, it will be shorter. Then the 3rd or 4th night, there won't be any crying.

...

Letting the baby cry is a tough thing to do.

This is good advice, but - generally - it only applies to children over five months. Before that age, they do not have the mental capcity to soothe themselves. Accordingly, ANYTHING you can do to get them to sleep is fair game. My wife and I have had luck forcing our youngest to stay awake until later in the evening so that he does not wake us up in the middle of the night. (Our oldest is a power sleeper who was sleeping through the night at six weeks. Honestly, we had to wake her up for feedings.)

In any event, raising children is an incredibly rewarding experience, and - while the amount of time that you spend gaming will certainly decrease - you will not miss it. Besides, your baby might even be a future retro gamer. (My two year old daughter's favorite game of all time is Space Channel 5 - or, as it is known in our house "Bobot Dancing". I picked up a copy of Samba De Amigo today for $5 at GameStop, and I cannot wait to bring it home to her. EDIT: She loved it. We only played for a few minutes last night, but we will probably play it some more this weekend.)

[c0wb0y]

First off, congrats to you and your wife. I think a lot of the responses you've received are on target.

You are a dad -
I know for me it was all very abstract and difficult to envision being a father at first. For my wife, she could feel the baby months before I did. The child was always there in a way that is impossible to sense as a father. Even sonograms and Dopplers did not make it feel real for me. It was neat, but surreal when I finally did feel her kick. I first felt like a father when I actually saw my firstborn with my own eyes. I don't want to get over-sentimental, but those moments are the most intense I've felt. Ever. My reality changed. It was Game On from that point forward.

Other Peoples opinions -
As you can tell, there is not ever just one right answer how to raise a child. Knowing this can help you cope with your concern about in-laws trying to impose their will. Their way might have worked for their daughter, but times and perspectives change. If you and your wife are a team and supportive of each other, you'll find the best way to parent together. And there have been instances where I received good advice from the last people I would have expected to offer it.
Dealing with other peoples' kids is a whole other ordeal to learn how to cope with. Don't worry - you have some time before that is on the forefront of your mind.

Sleep -
Yes, there are sleepless nights. You'll make it.

Little People!
I now have 3 girls. A HS Senior, a second grader, and one in kindergarten. Watching them develop personalities, and interests has been so much fun. They share some of my interests, and even humor me with some video game and pinball time together. Girl 3 is quite the pinball player!

Gaming Habits -
I had a lull in child rearing between girl 1 who was older by now and girl 2. During that time I completed my first FF game. I can say I've not completed one since then due to the time required. As much as I enjoyed FFX, I don't miss or regret not playing RPG's.
When girl 2 was born, I would play SSX3 and sing to her in her bouncy seat. She LOVED Kaori and all the colorful mountain slopes. I enjoyed some game time that might only be a 3 minute run down the back country.
I've expanded my retro console and game collection a lot since the younger ones came along. (Maybe for shorter game times?) The girls tend to lean towards a number of GB, NES and Genesis games. On the Wii, Cooking Mama and Just Dance are some of our favorites (I never played Just Dance until Christmas - I'm totally hooked.)
We maintain a regular bedtime of the younger kids where they are down by 8:15. Thankfully they sleep all night and don't hop out of bed often. After that it is free time for the rest of us. I may hang with Girl 1 and my wife, or I may disappear to play pinball for an hour or two. Or I may take care of honey-do's and other chores. Life is good.

I wish you all the best.

[Dave Auto]

Congratulations! My wife and I just had our first child five weeks ago, and it's been an adjustment, and a challenge, but it's also wonderful.

Sleep- We're very lucky: my wife took a generous maternity leave, and I'm self-employed, so neither of us has ever had to get up early for work. What this means is that we can still get as much sleep as we used to, but we kinda have to do it on the baby's schedule. Oftentimes that means we sleep until noon, because we're up half the night feeding and changing If you can learn to nap during the day when the baby naps, you'll be fine!

Gaming- thank God for portables! As some others have said, the baby will need your attention at a moment's notice, so having a game that you can snap into sleep mode in an instant is crucial. I just picked up Dragon Quest IX, and it's been perfect: engaging enough to be fun, but old-school enough that I can sorta zone out while playing it half-asleep at 3 in the morning

PROTIP: Get a wearable infant carrier. Being able to hold your child and still have two hands free is absolutely vital, not just to gaming but to, well... living We got a Baby Bjorn dirt cheap at a consignment shop, but I prefer the Moby Wrap. Maybe it's because I have a small frame (5'6") but it's a lot easier on my back.

PROTIP: Check out "The Happiest Baby On The Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. Read the book or watch the DVD. Either way, we wouldn't have survived these first few weeks without learning the handful of simple techniques he recommends to soothe a crying baby. An absolute lifesaver.

Great to hear from so many other gamer dads out there, and happy to count myself among them:)

[bladerunner]

Thanks guys for all the great advice. Good to see some good parents out there!

If the kid is fed with a clean diaper, it's ok to let it cry. The first night, s/he might cry for more than an hour. Ignore it. The next night, it will be shorter. Then the 3rd or 4th night, there won't be any crying.

I dont advise feeding your baby diapers, clean or not.

[Razzmatazz]

Congrats man!!!

My partner is 9 days late at the moment, expecting our first. Just took two weeks off from work too grrrrrrr... Cannot wait though! Although the sleep part is quite worrying seeing as haven't slept well during most of the pregnancy anyway. Pregnant women are incredibly fidgety, get woken every half hour and 5am starts for work means I'm used to being tired haha.

I'm also looking forward to reliving my childhood again via games, films, cartoons etc. Even homework!

[elabit]

When my wife became pregnant I had some similar concerns but once you actually have a kid you will be so focused and your mindset will change a lot.
If you loose out on some sleep at night you can make it up with a nice nap with your newborn in your arms.
Your game time will be cut drastically but you won't mind as much especially when your kid is starting to play with toys because playing with your kid can be way more fun. I just play games at nigh more when my kid goes to sleep.
If I can give you one piece of advice, help your wife when she needs it. Things will be way more challenging and life changing for her than you and if she's struggling to take care of the kid/house/you/food/laundry/everything else while you are playing games she's going to get on your case and ultimately blame you and gaming for everything. To make that go better, be ready to drop what your are doing to help out and do your dad stuff then get back to whatever it is you were doing. You will probably have more enjoyable time to yourself if your house is in line than with a crying baby/tired wife/messy house cause you were gaming.
Just my 2 cents.
Enjoy it man that's the most important thing, kids are fun and I can honestly say having a kid is awesome and my days are way more fun and exciting with my son than without him.

[Evildeadmanwalking77]

WARNING RAMBLE AHEAD

So I found out a few weeks back that the wife is expecting. We just told all the fam for Christmas and the fact that I am going to be a dad is just starting to sink in. I will be honest, the wife wanted this more than me. I am excited to be a dad for a lot of reasons, but there are some things I am worried about. Lets go through them:

Worries

Sleep - Funny that this should be my first worry, but being brutally honest, it is. I value, no treasure my sleep. I know that I will adjust and that a day will come when I my kid will sleep soundly, its just the intervening time I am worried about.

Video Gaming - You knew this would come up. I have been silently preparing for this one. I have basically turned my back on all multiplayer games knowing that I can't pull the "Hold on honey, just let me finish this match" routine with a screaming baby. So I have be reinvesting in single player games (Skyrim is looking mighty tempting) as well as actually playing some of my retro games instead of looking at them on my wall (bad I know). Anyway, I bought MW3, but haven't even tried the MP. I basically try to pretend SW The Old Republic doesn't exist. A hard feat. What do fellow gamer dad's do? Is it hard to still game once and a while?

Other People/In-Laws - This is a big one. You know how other people always have an opinion about raising kids? I hate those people. You can never measure up. Generally, I ignore these opinions, but some folks I know (read mother in law) just don't let up when you tell them to keep it to themselves. I really think this one boils down to my wife having to finally stand up to her mother, who she does live in fear of. I can be brutally honest with my mother in law and she doesn't care because frankly, she does not respect me. Heap on top of this the religious, holier than thou, bull plus the fact that she has not worked in 30 years (yet has the gall to criticize me of being lazy and I am the breadwinner in my house). You get the picture. Maybe having kids will make this relationship better. Maybe not. Either way it will be a s***storm.

Looking Forward To

Having my own kid - Seriously, having someone who is part you is kinda cool sounding.

Watching [insert favorite movies here] for the first time - I have always dreamed of the day I will introduce my future kids to Star Wars, Ghostbusters, Back to the Future, etc. There is a world of awesome movies out there to share with these kids.

Sharing in the things we love together - I don't just want to share the things I love with my kids, but also see how their interests develop and see what they will come to love and revel in that too.

All in all, I am excited about having a kid. I have worries and those sometimes give me pause. If you are a parent, more specifically a dad, share your experience and wisdom, cause I could use some right now.

Congrats man! We're in the same boat! My wife and I are expecting our first as well. She's do in July and I'm stoked! I actually look forward to sharing video game sw/ my child once they're old enough for it and of course many other things in life that parents would normally share. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous but the sacrifices that one must make are well worth it and when I think of this as far as gaming goes, I am perfectly fine w/ having to give up a lot of my gaming time for my child. It's not like I will NEVER have a controller in my hand again. You have to balance it out and game in any free time that you have. Remember it's never "Game Over" until you say so! There's plenty of continues!!

It's an exciting time as you already know and I hope that all goes well w/ both your wife and soon to be child. Best of luck!