What was the last movie you've seen?

[TSTR]

I was just intrigued by what different interpretations could mean for the monster, really. It does get a little less scary once you see the thing, but the first part is creepfest for sure. Usually ghosty things and kreepy kids don't do it for me, but this felt fresh enough somehow. Not the greatest flick ever, but I still enjoyed it--even though I don't have kids.

[Ack]

I am a parent to two young children, and the movie terrified me. Even the very best children can be trying, and the movie definitely tapped into some of of my deepest fears as a parent. (Also, as a fan of silent horror films, I think that the the monster is great.) If you do not have children, however, I can see how it might not affect you as much. (Moreover, the "Home Alone" segment was pretty corny in hindsight.)

I know a lot of people love it, but Rosemary's Baby did absolutely nothing for me. My mother, however, watched it when she was pregnant - with me! - and to this day, she still considers it the scariest film ever made.

As a fan of silent horror films, the Babadook reminded me immensely of Conrad Veidt in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari or Lon Chaney in London After Midnight.

Also, I found Rosemary's Baby intensely boring, but religious horror has never really been big for me unless done incredibly well. I still consider The Exorcist one of the funniest movies I have ever watched.

[prfsnl_gmr]

Also, I found Rosemary's Baby intensely boring, but religious horror has never really been big for me unless done incredibly well. I still consider The Exorcist one of the funniest movies I have ever watched.

If you haven't already done so, be sure to catch The Sentinel (1977) at some point.

[Ack]

Also, I found Rosemary's Baby intensely boring, but religious horror has never really been big for me unless done incredibly well. I still consider The Exorcist one of the funniest movies I have ever watched.

If you haven't already done so, be sure to catch The Sentinel (1977) at some point.

Yeah, I watched it last year October as part of my horror movie marathon. I thought it was entertaining, but I didn't like any of the characters and thought the plot was pretty weak.

[prfsnl_gmr]

Yeah, I watched it last year October as part of my horror movie marathon. I thought it was entertaining, but I didn't like any of the characters and thought the plot was pretty weak.

But did you laugh?

[Ack]

Yes. Hard. Especially when it was revealed that lesbians are SATAN.

[prfsnl_gmr]

Yes. Hard. Especially when it was revealed that lesbians are SATAN.

Good. Me too.

[Ack]

Escape from the Bronx, aka Bronx Warriors 2, aka Escape 2000

Escape from the Bronx is the sequel to 1990: The Bronx Warriors and once again stars Mark Gregory as a nearly mute gang member who struggles to make ends meet by selling ammunition to the cowering denizens of the Bronx while the General Construction Corporation's Disinfestor squads dress like Mercury-era astronauts and roam the landscape killing anyone they find. Trash is content to live in this wasteland until he returns home to find his parents have been killed by the Disinfestors, which leads to him teaming up with a journalist(played by David di Donatello Award-winning actress Valeria D'Obici), a professional bank robber, and the robber's 10-year-old son, who just so happens to be a demolitions expert, to kidnap the president of the GC Corporation.

Meanwhile, the remnants of the gangs have unified under the control of a man named Dablone(affectionately called Toblerone in the MST3K version of the movie. Yes, there is an MST3K version of this movie, under the name Escape 2000), a man who speaks with an accent and appears to laugh randomly. And the Disinfestors are being led by an ex-prison warden known for his cruelty and totally willing to commit genocide, who happens to be played by Henry Silva. So what happens when all of these people meet?

Shooting! Explosions! Bad Acting!

Still, what did I expect from a movie where the good guys all have infinite ammo and somebody found out how to fund pyrotechnics. Trash shoots down a helicopter and blows up a van by shooting at them with a revolver. He also narrowly survives a harrowing scene where a ladder nearly falls on him...and then explodes! And a lot of people take flamethrowers to the face in this film. It's quite thrilling, despite how much Trash just stands around and stares at things.

The connections between this movie and the previous are a little odd. The evil CEO of the GC Corporation is the same guy who was running the Manhattan Corporation of the previous film. Trash has a new motorcycle but still has the skull from his old one mounted on it. And some of the gang members return and appear in the motley crew of Brooklyn survivors, though funny enough the largest group appears to be that weird dance troupe. I guess nobody took them seriously enough to try to kill them. But the hodgepodge of survivors features a random assortment of gang members from the first film, so I have to give them credit for going for some level of continuity.

In the end, not much really gets resolved here. A bunch of folks die, the Disinfestors are defeated, and the GC Corporation gets a new president who will likely continue the exact same policy. It all just feels like a pointless exercise. But with explosions.

[Ack]

Just a Damned Soldier, AKA Un Maledetto Soldato

Italy does it again with another late '80s 'Namsploitation film, this time about mercenaries with a grudge against a drug lord who is running guns out of Cambodia with the help of the North Vietnamese. Filmed entirely in the Philippines, this movie gets things like uniforms and ammunition counts horribly wrong, but the explosions are oh so right. Watch as the heroes shrug off gunshots to their bodies but shoot blindly from the hip and always hit their targets...unless the guy knows how to throw darts.

Sometime during the mid-1980s, a secret commando unit makes a raid in Cambodia to steal a shipment of gold, which they then give to the exiled Afghani government to help them fight the Soviet invasion. But the gold belongs a local Taekwondo expert and criminal underworld boss, and was used to pay for arms for the Vietnamese still operating in Cambodia after defeating the Khmer Rouge. The reason his gold was picked? The leader of the commando unit, The Kraut, has a long running grudge against him, and it's time to collect payment. What is that grudge, and why is he called the Kraut? I don't know, it never gets explained. In fact the movie makes a point of having characters flat out say they won't say. Either way, after the raid, the crime boss is pissed, so he gets his revenge, and the match escalates to torture, murder, and hostage-taking on both sides. Even the good guys get into the action a bit by leaving corpses around for the villains to find.

It's actually a surprisingly interesting plot, even with the bad acting. Typically when I go into these movies, I expect something as bad as Robowar, so Just a Damned Soldier took me by surprise. It still has some incredibly stiff performances from the likes of Mark Gregory, but Peter Hooten(Dr. Strange!) and Romano Kristoff(War Bus/Ten Zan) are actually pretty entertaining in their own right. Is it as good as something like Rambo II? No, definitely not. But it's one of the better of these kinds of Filipino productions as far as I'm concerned.

Did any of you guys watch Tropic Thunder? You know how Ben Stiller's character acts, where he's firing his rifle one-handed and posing in various ways or kneeling? That is exactly the kind of thing to expect here. At least I didn't see Mark Gregory blow up a minivan with a revolver this time.

[Luke]

Did any of you guys watch Tropic Thunder?

Watch it? Kid, I lived it.


THE WHOLE NINE YARDS

Brainless, yet harmless. Star studded cast, but they give performances as if they weren't being paid. And I mean that in a good way, because they all act hammy and as if they were all pals doing a script readings. But that makes for good chemistry and a fun and silly movie.

It's also a pretty perfect "bro" movie for a lazy Saturday. Or any lazy day for that fact. You've got Bruce Willis as am insect swallowing ex-hitman, a not skinny but not yet chubby Matthew Perry, Kenny from Half Baked, a very exaggerated version of Rosanna Arquette, the draw dropping beauty that is Natasha Henstridge (sp?), the late and great Mike Clarke-Duncan, the quirky Kevin Pollack, and the polarizing Amanda Peet.

Speaking of Peet:

When I first saw Peet in this movie in 2000 I was totally smitten. Seeing her boobs was a huge bonus, but as soon as I saw her face the first time she entered a scene I had that "where has she been all my life?" feeling. This movie stars Natasha Henstridge, who has charm and undeniable beauty from head to toe, but I was infatuated with the girl who is a corn ball.

I don't remember seeing her in anything else, which is a shame. I know she's in SAVING SILVERMAN", but have been told it's an awful film.