What was the last movie you've seen?

[TSTR]

I actually thought that twist was gonna happen too when I began watching it.

[Pulsar_t]

It would be refreshing to get a movie without a twist in it As I posted earlier (and nobody likes to discuss movies unless it's with their inner circle of forum friends it seems) I noticed a whiff of Adam and Eve in the story, but perhaps I was reading it in my own biased way

If you liked Ex Machina you'd also probably enjoy:

[Ack]

American Ninja

Deep in the Philippines, "rebels" are ambushing US Army trucks to steal the goods. But these rebels are really ninjas, a league of silent assassins under the employ of a man who wishes he was Ricardo Montalban and sells the stolen weapons to the highest bidder, all with the help of a corrupt Army colonel and his Master Sergeant. But what no one expected was that this latest convoy was driven by Michael Dudikoff, the American Ninja! That's right, the tagline says everything: The deadliest art of the Orient is now in the hands of an American!

OH SNAP! USA! USA! USA!

Seriously though, despite all of the ninjas flipping out and killing people, soldiers shooting big guns, and Dudikoff throwing people around and showing off his ninja moves...this movie is really boring. You get a big half-assed sort of fight at the start, and then...nothing. For a long time. It's all about setup, letting Dudikoff meet the colonel's daughter for both comic relief and a love interest, and one really awful motorcycle stunt (really, was that a stunt man on the motorcycle? I hope he's ok, but I really don't think he survived that). The action feels forced and contrived, the fights all just look awkward, and it's all incredibly bloodless and bland. And Dudikoff's acting? Well, there is less wood in a tree, put it that way. When he finally did stop trying to be the mysterious silent type, he sounds like he doesn't really want to be there. It's...awkward.

But how did Dudikoff learn his ninja moves? Well, a Japanese soldier stuck hiding in the jungle from WWII finds a baby, raises him from birth, trains him to be a ninja, and then gets separated from him by an explosion. Dudikoff is the child, but he suffers from amnesia, except for his sweet ninja moves. Somehow he goes to foster school, goes to prison, and gets sent into the army, where he ends up back in the Philippines, only to discover his ninja master is Montalban-knock off's gardener! Dun dun DUN!

Ultimately this movie ends with Dudikoff and his master fighting the army of ninjas while American soldiers raid wannabe-Montalban's love pad right in the middle of a deal with some Spanish guy. The master gets killed, Dudikoff casually chases down the head ninja dude and kills him on a roof, and then Dudikoff saves the girl from faux-Montalban's helicopter right before Steve James shoots it with a bazooka. Everybody's happy, we get a sort of wannabe M*A*S*H sequence, and the audience ultimately wonders just how a movie with ninjas in it could be so completely boring.

Except for that motorcycle stunt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQ1K4PkYH1U

Seriously, I hope that guy is ok.

[prfsnl_gmr]

You watched the wrong movie. You should have watched this instead:

I agree that American Ninja is incredibly boring. Do not let that deter you from its remarkably bad (but nonetheless enjoyable) sequels.

[Luke]

HEATHERS

People are wrong. Christian Slater, not Tom Waits, was the inspiration for Ledger's Joker.

My wife has a few weeks off before she teaches Summer School, so I've been piling on the surprises. Last night I ordered her favorite chicken wings and put on HEATHERS, which remains a great movie. It's also really dumb and far from being realistic, but that was the intent of the film so it works. HEATHERS is a lot like like the tv show Friends, but set in high school, and Joey and Monica kill everyone else. (Spoiler alert, Rachel Green is the first to die).

80's perfection. Every house is perfect, every room in that house is perfect, and besides the murders and parental neglect, the kids look perfect.

[prfsnl_gmr]

HEATHERS.

Agreed. That movie rules. Winona Ryder rocks it in that one.

[Ack]

Immortal Combat

Finally, after years of searching, I have found the ultimate bad action movie. Immortal Combat is the greatest thing I have ever seen.

First, it stars Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba. As cops. Who must take down an evil corporation manufacturing immortal fighters. Who used to be serial killers and spend most of their time communicating in grunts and screams while making crazy eyes at each other. And then Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba fight these guys, while Piper screams and Chiba throws exploding ninja stars.

Once a century, when the time is right, the stars align and the moon turns a lovely puce, and a man is gifted with a vision from the heavens, brought forth upon the wings of angels while a heavenly choir sings its praises, as if God himself had provided sweet ambrosia directly into the mind and filled it with creative fervor. For some damn reason, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences completely neglected this movie and gave the 1994 award to Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump! What the hell were they thinking, when Immortal Combat is the greatest, the GREATEST, film since Louis Lumiere directed L'Arroseur Arrose in 1895. I just...I don't even understand. But that's not important.

What is important is that, in Immortal Combat, you will see Roddy Piper headbutt dudes. A lot of dudes. And while he's jumping around and body slamming people, Sonny Chiba is going nuts with a katana like he doesn't even care. Sure, there's a plot...Piper keeps meeting up with a reporter lady who is investigating the evil corporation, while Chiba tells his obviously-adopted blond white girl daughter that she is adopted, and she gets mad...for one scene and then completely forgives him so he can go fight random immortal ninja out in the woods. And then there is grunting. Oh, the grunting!

Everything you need to know about Immortal Combat can be summed up right here in less than a minute:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-884wUblWDE&t=7m50s

That...that right there is the greatest thing you will ever witness. Ever.

[Luke]

That...that right there is the greatest thing you will ever witness. Ever.

...and the Survey says? "Nooo!!!!!!!!!"

THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS is going to be worth seeing. More than once even.

[Ack]

That...that right there is the greatest thing you will ever witness. Ever.

...and the Survey says? "Nooo!!!!!!!!!"

THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS is going to be worth seeing. More than once even.

Hey now, just because you have atrocious taste and can't recognize pure, unadulterated acting genius doesn't mean the rest of us won't.

[Luke]

That...that right there is the greatest thing you will ever witness. Ever.

...and the Survey says? "Nooo!!!!!!!!!"

THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS is going to be worth seeing. More than once even.

Hey now, just because you have atrocious taste and can't recognize pure, unadulterated acting genius doesn't mean the rest of us won't.

How is that clip any better than the genius of Top That from TEEN WITCH or when Frankenstein's Monster saw bewbs in MONSTER SQUAD, or when Sloth said "Rocky Road?".

Immortal Combat is good for what it is, but it could have been a lot more horribly awesome. Not enough dudes thrown threw windows either.