How do you deal with a major break up

[AwesomeMonstar]

for me what it all boils down to is if you still love her. If you do, then focus on ways to win her back. Don't sit and mop around because that will only make things worse. You'll feel silly, it's a given, but you will get over it. If you don't or you're conflicted, go on a date, get back on the horse. Nothing will make you feel better than knowing that you are wanted again.

[aaron]

<==========PRODUCT OF A BROKEN HOME


And look how great I turned out.

most people are nowadays. i am, and my son is going to be. you play the cards your dealt, i guess.

[superlarz]

as ridiculous as it seems. the same exact thing just happened to me. well not exact, but my fiance who i have been with for 4 years and I just broke up. and I came home tonight and found like 99% evidence that she was cheating. I feel your pain, and I just want to sit around and feel sorry for myself... but i have to look at this as another chance. its going to be really really hard.. (and living on a single income again is going to seriously hurt my game collecting) but i know I will be ok someday.

[AwesomeMonstar]

as ridiculous as it seems. the same exact thing just happened to me. well not exact, but my fiance who i have been with for 4 years and I just broke up. and I came home tonight and found like 99% evidence that she was cheating. I feel your pain, and I just want to sit around and feel sorry for myself... but i have to look at this as another chance. its going to be really really hard.. (and living on a single income again is going to seriously hurt my game collecting) but i know I will be ok someday.

This is the situation you go out on. Sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself only makes things worse. Force yourself out, do shit with friends, go bar hopping, sitting at home only makes your thoughts stew. I've been there and I know it sucks. The first time I've ever been cheated on was all I needed to decide that I could never, EVER do that to someone. It really is about the crappiest feeling in the world.

[RadarScope1]

I'm late to this thread, but I would echo the statements about time healing. It sucks for quite a while, but the whole thing is to LOOK AHEAD when and wherever possible. Try to take some lessons out of it but don't beat yourself up over everything. Distance will help you see some of those lessons more clearly.

If you weren't getting along at the five year mark, there's not much hope that it will "get better." Take it from someone who is very happily married, when it works it WORKS and you will know it pretty damn quick. It does take work, but shouldn't feel like drudgery. The sacrifices and compromises you make will seem more than worth it when you consider what you're getting out of the bigger picture of a happy relationship.

[racketboy]

I agree!
I've been married for almost 7 years now and couldn't have said it better. (I just feel old now, that's all)
While some of our disagreements may have smoothed out a little, things don't change much as the years go on.
If anything, after you get married, more issues may pop up (not trying to discourage marriage here)
But it is true that when you're with the right person, things seem to feel more natural -- it shouldn't be "work" to get along with someone.

[cloudrat7]

You know, after giving it alot of thought, i decided to give up entirely, I said my peace and tried to resolve the problems we had but in my heart i knew it was time to let go entirely, so i did. The more i thought about the relationship as a whole the more i noticed major red flags. I wanted things to work out for the best, but it had to be a 50/50 thing, and i was definitely doing all the work. I feel alot better now that i have my closure , I really appreciate all the comments and advice given, (even the mean ones). You guys are the best.

[AppleQueso]

Another piece of advice to help the healing. Cut all contact for a minimum of 6 months. Seeing her is like picking at a scab; it just prolongs the healing process.

mind if I ask why you bumped a thread that was nearly two and a half years old?

[MrPopo]

I didn't. And there was a note under my post (which I deleted in an attempt to remove the bump) that said it was bumped by the TC. It was under the sig, in the part that usually has "Last edited by <blah>"

[vlame]

apple, i think you did lol, INCEPTION!