Random Thoughts Thread

[Ack]

Thanks for the support, y'all. I don't want to turn this thread into "Dave's Diary," so I will probably try to keep posts on the topic to a minimal for the time being unless it is in reply to specific questions or comments (as above).

Hey man, this thread is REPO's diary. We just post in it.

[jp1]

Hope everything does work out. The best consultation I can give is go with your family and friends advice and most important you and your wife's feelings. Thirteen years marriage means a lot, sad that many say get out of the relationship without truly knowing the situation. We on the Forum only know each other thru Avatar name and the context of our posts and really cannot judge and pass any solid advice. Hang in there.

I'm not sure anyone is saying "Get out of the relationship". Obviously nobody has the pertinent information to even suggest that. If it weren't even a consideration we wouldn't be having the conversation in the first place though.

I don't agree that a divorce has to be ugly with lawyers and such. Sometimes two adults can simply agree that they aren't happy together and work out the details amicably. Expecting child support is not a heinous act, it is what you are meant to do if you don't share custody. I have been paying child support for 17 years as well, my daughter isn't any more expensive to care for than my two boys who live with me. Believe it or not we have never needed to deal with lawyers or any other such nonsense either.

Of course these things are different for everyone. So as was pointed out in the other thread, in the end we are just "navel gazing".

Best of luck Dave whatever you decide to do. I am hopeful that you are actually just trolling with some kind of joke, but if that isn't the case, I wish you and your family the best possible outcome.

[Exhuminator]

Expecting child support is not a heinous act of vigilance, it is what you are meant to do if you don't share custody.

Paying a reasonable amount of child support is fair. Paying an unreasonable amount is not. A lawyer is the key to obtaining the proper balance. The same goes with alimony and visitation rights. These aren't things to handle without legal representation.

[MrPopo]

If you can amicably split up possessions/kids/finances without a lawyer then you can do so just as amicably with a lawyer. Conversely, if can't do it amicably the lawyer is there to help protect you. So there's no good reason not to get a lawyer involved.

[jp1]

Unless the act of hiring a lawyer is seen as an act of aggression, thereby creating a hostile environment. There are also the financial considerations.

[CFFJR]

Its worth mentioning that my divorce was completed without the aid of a lawyer. We were able to split up everything to our satisfaction and get the job done on our own.

Though to be honest I'm not sure how things would have turned out if we had a kid involved. I'm just thankful that wasn't the case.

Everyone's situation is different of course, I'm just saying.

It can be done.

[Erik_Twice]

Unless the act of hiring a lawyer is seen as an act of aggression, thereby creating a hostile environment.

If hiring a lawyer is seen as an act of aggression, you need a lawyer.

[mjmjr25]

Unless the act of hiring a lawyer is seen as an act of aggression, thereby creating a hostile environment.

If hiring a lawyer is seen as an act of aggression, you need a lawyer.

I have no intentions of getting involved in this discussion directly - but I feel compelled to respond to this comment.

If two people can possibly part amiably, both are on the surface implying this, and then one of those 2 people hires a lawyer - maybe aggression isn't the perfect word, but it's in that ballpark, undoubtedly.

[Exhuminator]

One can hire a lawyer without the knowledge of the other party. Simply having documents scanned over by a lawyer for irregularities/exploits before signing can save tons of grief later on.

Well Dave do what you like. Just keep in mind any post divorce "friendly terms" agreed upon based on sheer merit alone mean nothing if they aren't finalized on paper and recognized by a court of law. So at least make sure these things are drawn up judicially even without a lawyer in tow. Because feelings change over time, and jealously or spite can manifest causing unforeseen calamity down the road.

I like dill pickle slices topped with lime salt.

[mjmjr25]

Just keep in mind any post divorce "friendly terms" agreed upon based on sheer merit alone mean nothing if they aren't finalized on paper and recognized by a court of law.

Where it comes to custody - yes.

Nothing else matters; I should hope.