Gaming and Marriage. Has it caused issues?

[mjmjr25]

I used to have a problem with spending too much money on video games to the point of affecting my relationship with my fiance. But my fiance did not say "stop buying games or our relationship is over". She said to spend less money on them so we could afford bigger things we wanted. And then she offered the idea of a gaming budget. The budget was set as a compromise between us.

I feel confident these types of compromises were offered up long before OP's situation became more dramatic. To that point; what would have happened in your relationship had you not curbed spending? I suspect if you were living in a lesser home, driving a lesser vehicle, and eating cheaper / repetitive meals your suggested comprimise would have also become an ultimatimum. Good on you for reaching the compromise...I'm pretty sure that post also echoed exactly what jp1 and I have been saying today. Gaming wasn't the issue; your wife communicated to you, and you fixed it before it became a larger problem...the relationship is fine.

[Jmustang1968]

If it being subjective was so obvious, why do we have 19 pages on the discussion?

My sample size is fairly large. I participate in year round sports leagues and this subject has come up every now and then in our chat rooms. I have also been in several decent sized mmorpg guilds where this topic is really more of a prevalent issue. Sort of similar, I played magic casually and semi-competively for years, and time spent playing that game is very comparable to video games. Then topping it off, I have had discussions about gaming and home life with most of my friends, coworkers, and old college acquaintances who are gamers. I have also had discussions with spouses who arent gamers and their partner is.

Many of those mentioned above played or tried to involve their significant other in their gaming hobbies to obviously varying levels of success, and some not at all. The sports league guys typically have spouses/gfs that arent interested in gaming at all and it is a constant issue as we try and schedule game times and such. I see more willingness to participate in mmos and magic, with magic usually being something they try and then not stick with.

So, I don't have a scientific study research completed, but I have had a lot of exposure and discussion about the subject.

[jp1]

I used to have a problem with spending too much money on video games to the point of affecting my relationship with my fiance. But my fiance did not say "stop buying games or our relationship is over". She said to spend less money on them so we could afford bigger things we wanted. And then she offered the idea of a gaming budget. The budget was set as a compromise between us.

I feel confident these types of compromises were offered up long before OP's situation became more dramatic. To that point; what would have happened in your relationship had you not curbed spending? I suspect if you were living in a lesser home, driving a lesser vehicle, and eating cheaper / repetitive meals your suggested comprimise would have also become an ultimatimum. Good on you for reaching the compromise...I'm pretty sure that post also echoed exactly what jp1 and I have been saying today. Gaming wasn't the issue; your wife communicated to you, and you fixed it before it became a larger problem...the relationship is fine.

Yep, I agree, in effect Exhuminator and jmustang are not the intended audience of the posts at hand or the points being made. Presumably they do not suffer the consequences of failing to compromise or find the faults in their own actions. It really isn't about video games at all. They just happen to be the catalyst in this particular instance.

[Exhuminator]

I feel confident these types of compromises were offered up long before OP's situation became more dramatic.

Based on Vant3c's initial posts I am not so confident about that.

what would have happened in your relationship had you not curbed spending?

We would not have combined our income into one bank account thus enabling larger savings interest and investment fund options, because my fiance wouldn't have trusted me to do such a thing. She would not have left me though, nor did she ever make such an innuendo towards that possibility. I was not spending so much money as to not first cover our living expenses, but I was spending the leftover cash too much on gaming. And this was from my paycheck, not hers.

I suspect if you were living in a lesser home, driving a lesser vehicle, and eating cheaper / repetitive meals your suggested comprimise would have also become an ultimatimum.

Her concerns were not about such material things, but rather growing our retirement fund in a way that we can retire in our 50's.

Gaming wasn't the issue; your wife communicated to you, and you fixed it before it became a larger problem...the relationship is fine.

Yes I agree with this. Compromise and communication are essential elements to a healthy relationship. That's why I don't agree with ultimatums.

[Jmustang1968]

I never thought I was being targeted in any of these discussions. I am just discussing some of the points that were being made.

My wife enjoys gaming and game collecting, so it is something we can do together to a degree.

[jp1]

I never thought I was being targeted in any of these discussions. I am just discussing some of the points that were being made.

My wife enjoys gaming and game collecting, so it is something we can do together to a degree.

I know, I was just trying to reiterate this wasn't really an argument. At least as far as I'm concerned. Whatever perceived snark, I think was playful.

[Luke]

I think was playful.

Protip:

It's only playful when an actual tip is involved.

[jp1]

Just the tip?

[Luke]

Just the tip?

Only the tip.

[jp1]

Just the tip?

Only the tip.

What if it really is a pro tip though? It kinda counts I think. Ron Jeremy for instance is probably always playing around.