Random Gaming Thoughts

[fastbilly1]

Damn right. Mario's straight gangsta. He slaughtered thousands, maybe millions, of Goombas and Koopas over the years. Goombas with families. Koopas who enlisted only to put food on the table. That first Goomba in Super Mario Bros? Paying off a mortgage. The debt transferred to his next of kin, his poor, invalid mother. That second? Wife and three kids, all fatherless now. His little Goomba kids keep asking, "Momma, when's Daddy coming home?" She cries as she lies about how he's on a "secret mission" for King Koopa, knowing she'll never see the dashing smile she fell in love with again.

But you know what? Life is pain. Cause a little chaos. They fucked with the Mushroom Kingdom, so now Mario's gotta show 'em why they don't fuck with the Mushroom Kingdom. And every fatherless Goomba and hungry, homeless Koopa will know. Every Lakitu who has to pass a crippled and begging Shyguy on the street will know. Every Piranha Plant who has to see his family suffer from his PTSD will know. You don't fuck with the Mushroom Kingdom, or else the Mushroom Kingdom fucks back, and the Mushroom Kingdom plays for keeps.

That's how it is in video games. Someone else came thinking they were all big and bad. But they done fucked up. I just make sure they know it. Sephiroth? Dead. Kefka? Dead. Makron? Dead. Ganon? Dead. William Birkin? Dead. Mother Brain? Dead. Nihilanth? Dead. Saren? Dead. Their heads are mounted on my wall.

Mario is a pawn in a race war. Look it up. The war between the two fungus races - the Toadstools and the Goombas. The Goombas ally with the evil King Koopa and his army of dark magic turtles, while the Toadstools get help from a hero from afar.

[Exhuminator]

Etrian Mystery Dungeon has been released today.

I am excited.

Please be excited.

[Gunstar Green]

Mario is a pawn in a race war. Look it up. The war between the two fungus races - the Toadstools and the Goombas. The Goombas ally with the evil King Koopa and his army of dark magic turtles, while the Toadstools get help from a hero from afar.

Sonic is an anti-progress eco-terrorist.

At least he was I don't know what the fuck he is now (and neither does Sega).

[Flake]

Mario is a pawn in a race war. Look it up. The war between the two fungus races - the Toadstools and the Goombas. The Goombas ally with the evil King Koopa and his army of dark magic turtles, while the Toadstools get help from a hero from afar.

I have in my mind a House of Cards + Mario mash up.

Mario (facing camera) "The Princess thinks I am here saving her because I love her. I don't. It's her money I am actually saving."

*Has three way with Daisey and Toad, whose job he saved after Toad recklessly tossed a turnip*

[catnip]

Mario Badassery

I'm not sure whether I should be terrified or pumped up.

Regardless, this is one of the strangest halfies I've had in a while.

[Luke]

But you know what? Life is pain. Cause a little chaos. They fucked with the Mushroom Kingdom, so now Mario's gotta show 'em why they don't fuck with the Mushroom Kingdom. And every fatherless Goomba and hungry, homeless Koopa will know.

I think your are awesome.

[s1mplehumar]

Etrian Mystery Dungeon has been released today.

I am excited.

Please be excited.

Thanks for reminding me to pick up my pre-order.

[marurun]

tossed a turnip

This really needs to be a euphemism for something, but I honestly cannot fathom what.

[MrPopo]

tossed a turnip

This really needs to be a euphemism for something, but I honestly cannot fathom what.

I usually use it as a euphemism for catching some cheese.

[Flake]

tossed a turnip

This really needs to be a euphemism for something, but I honestly cannot fathom what.

This could be our opportunity to make a contribution to the vernacular. What should it mean? How will we define the future for everyone.