I’ve been taking advantage of my mothers current Amazon Prime trial and trying to cram in as many free instant video movies (as well as the Legend of Korra) as I possibly can. This leaves me very little time to do any kind of lengthy write-up, but I did wan to give an overview of some of the more noticeable things I’ve been watching.
House on Sorority Row
A group of sorority girls decide to pull a prank on their house mother and accidentally end up with a dead body a result. Naturally they panic and make it worse, and the girls spend the evening slowly getting picked off, one by one, by an unknown assailant.
Now, prfsnl_gmr beat me too this one (that bastard), but I would also give a high recommendation to
The House on Sorority Row (the 1983 version, not the new one. Bah.) It’s the kind of movie where the entire plot could have been avoided if someone had just called the police after the
first corpse of the evening, and you’ll probably develop a desire to smack a couple of the idiot girls for their line of logic, but the lighting, coloring and relatively quick pacing (after the first death occurs) make up for most of the films flaws. It’s a nice slasher film that I’m sure most of the genres fans would enjoy.
Troll Hunter
Troll Hunter is a docu-style horror drama (shaky cam ahoy!) that follows a small group of three college journalists as they try to expose a rather shady individual whom they initially believe to be a bear poacher. What they find instead is a disillusioned troll hunter, mythological beings and a government conspiracy.
I actually quite liked this film. The trolls are all varied, distinct and look pretty damn good for CGI and the acting of their human counterparts is believable and appropriate, never once going over-the-top as it could have easily done.
A lot of time is spent explaining the troll scientifically (why they turn to stone in daylight, ect.) and placing those fantastical beings in our modern world in a logical and believable (if you don’t think too hard) way.
Which brings me to my one real qualm with the film (other than perhaps shaky cam), and that is the plot point of how the hunters (and in this case the students) shouldn’t be Christian, because the trolls can somehow smell that. With all the attention paid to the other details this tidbit is just glossed over and accepted as fact without any sort of explanations given of how a troll can smell based on ones faith. With the time spent explaining away everything else, leaving this out feels more to me like a plot hole, or a convenient excuse to freak out and knock off a couple of characters more than anything else.
However, it’s still a fun film and it’s really neat to watch how they tackled the different trolls and their size and mannerisms. If you can get past a couple of unexplained instances and the shaky camera work, than there is some good stuff to be found here.
Rumpelstiltskin
Somewhere in the 1400’s the title character is being chased down by a mob after having spun some straw into gold for some poor woman… and then promptly running off with her child.
After retrieving the baby, one of the villagers curses the super strong, soulless imp, turning him into an ugly, golden jade-like statue with a
very specific set of specifications needed in order to break the curse. Queue recently widowed single mother living in modern day (1990’s) Los Angeles with questionable interior decorating taste…
The intentional campy-ness of this film can barely be contained. Rumpelstiltskin’s lines are almost solely comprised of one-liners. Except he’s just been transferred from the 1400’s, so they all sound like one-liners from that annoying, geeky guy in high-school who was always a little
too into Renaissance fairs. Lines like, “The maiden hath escaped into a horseless carriage,” “The future is hard on thy throat,” and “Fucketh me!” abound with no shame.
The acting in the majority of the movie is usually over-the-top and has much to be desired. But you get the feeling that everybody knew that they were making something ridiculously silly (what with Rumpelstiltskin loosing his head and crab walking), so it feels like everyone was sort of just going with the flow.
Gore is used sporadically and inconsistently. In some cases it’s quite graphic, but in others the camera cuts away, either during the act and only showing the result, or cutting away entirely to leave the instance to the viewers imagination. I’m sure this was done for budgeting reasons, but the inconsistencies make those instances in the film feel unfinished or misplaced when compared to the more graphic moments.
Really though
Rumpelstiltskin is pretty bad. The acting will make you shake your head, the dialogue is cringe inducing and some of the inconsistencies and plot holes (how the hell does the little devil know how to ride a motorcycle, let along an 18 wheeler?) will make your head spin. Some people might find it hilarious, but probably not for many of the reasons the filmmakers were hoping. Unless, of course, you really like the movie
Leprechaun. If that’s the case than this is your shit, homey.
Believe
This cover is very misleading.
Ben has been kicked out of several boarding schools thanks to his love of pulling pranks. With few other options open to them, his parents send him to live with his estranged, paternal grandfather, a man Ben hasn’t seen since he was five years old. Not long after arriving at the estate, Ben encounters a ghostly woman in red, a woman many have clearly seen, but whose existence no one seems to wish to explain or admit. Together with his new friend, Katherine, who has also been trying to learn about the ghost, the two decide to try to find a way to put her spirit at rest.
This is a family horror film involving teenagers, which means only about a third of it’s focus is actually on the horror aspect, with the other two thirds focusing on the family dynamic of the characters, and teenage issues, in this case bullying and revenge. The bullying/revenge fantasy aspect in particular takes center stage about a third of the way through, almost to the point were it seems like they’ve forgotten about the ghost altogether. It’s a cute and amusing detour, but it doesn’t do that much for the overall plot.
One of the things I liked about the film was Ben’s relationship with his grandfather. In a lot of films like this where kids are sent off to live with distant relatives, the relatives in question end up being cruel or dole out the harshest of punishments for the most minor of offences, even if the rules broken had good reason to not be broken. While Ben’s grandfather comes across as stern and strict, he is not above reason and leniency, or explaining his way of thinking, nor is anything he asks out of the ordinary. What’s more, despite being rather wary of his grandfather, Ben recognizes this and the film spends time showing us that, yes, he’s doing his best to follow the rules and despite his penchant for pranks, is actually a kind and well-mannered young kid.
The acting here is a bit hit or miss. The adults are all quite serviceable, but most of the kids, with the exception of Katherine, feel a bit flat or forced. This includes Ben, which is unfortunate, considering we spend most of our time with him.
Overall, this was a pretty cute film. It’s not at all scary, considering its target audience, but it’s a nice little suspenseful, mystery, ghost story with a little bit of love and a lot of revenge fantasy mixed in for good measure. If you’re looking for horror-light, or you need something new to watch with the kiddies than this is a good option.
Phenomena
aka Creepers
I liked the Creepers poster better. Sue me.
The daughter of a famous actor is sent off to a boarding school in remote Swiss city. While there Donald Pleasance informs her that she has psychic insect powers that enable her to communicate with the creepy crawlies of the world and she uses these powers to pursue a local serial killer who is slaughtering young woman in and around the school.
I hope that made sense to everyone, because the parts I left out about the heretic chasing head of the school, the chimp nurse, the sleep walking and the mutants, probably won’t make it any more coherent.
So yes, the movie is a little crazy (or maybe a lot crazy and I’m desensitized), but I swear it makes more sense if you actually watch it. I swear, despite everything going on (in the film and in the last couple sentences) the movie comes across as well balanced and polished.
The acting is above average (even the chimps) and despite being an Italian horror film (Hi Argento!) it was mostly recorded completely in English, so you don’t have to worry about shoddy dubbing or subtitles. Yay!
My biggest problem with the movie, honestly, is the soundtrack. The choice of a metal soundtrack just does not work when layered over brooding imagery. The imagery and the pacing of the scenes themselves work great, but when you shove a death metal song over it (no matter how good said death metal may be) the contrast is so jarring that it takes you out of the moment entirely. My head literally jerked back a couple of times at the harsh sounds suddenly coming out of my speakers and there was such a disconnect with what I was hearing and was happening on screen that it took me several moments to get back into the film.
But you know the complaints are small when the biggest one involves only
part of the soundtrack. Overall,
Phenomena is a fun film and the last 20 minutes or so are probably some of the most memorable moments to ever cap off a horror movie. You just have to try to tune out part of that soundtrack.
After Midnight
A group of college students take a course on fear with a very unconventional professor. This is merely a convenient plot device to frame a horror anthology as several of the students share urban legends.
The first is about a stranded couple who try to seek help from someone in the creepy old house nearby.
The second is about a group of teens just out for a good time and get more than they bargained for when they get lost and come across a psycho and his pack of crazy dogs.
And the third is about a woman working at a telephone answering service who ends up being tormented by a deranged stalker.
The stories in this horror anthology are a little different, in that they don’t involve any aspect of the supernatural whatsoever. These are all horror tales that, though at times implausible, are firmly based in reality.
The highlight of the three, to me, anyway was the second story about the girls’ night out. It’s by far the most suspenseful of the three tales, and the outfits the girls are wearing are just so wonderfully 80’s that not only does it hit me just right in the nostalgia bone, but in the suspense bone as well.
The weakest aspect of the film ends up being both the framing device around the class of The Psychology of Fear and the ultimate ending. The class aspect is interesting enough and the basic idea behind it is pretty solid, but I can’t help but think that some of the things the professor does would have gotten him outright fired then, and surely arrested today. I’m sorry, I’m all about using props to illustrate a point, but I can’t see pulling a gun on a student, in any time period, as an acceptable practice (though I’m sure several teachers and professors have fantasized about doing that exact thing to a few key students).
As for the ending, well, let just say that I would have liked it more if I hadn’t seen
Dead of Night first, because, yes,
After Midnight completely jacked their ending, pretty much idea for idea. What’s worse is that I had a feeling that was going to happen about half way through, and was hoping against it, only to be disappointed when my prediction came through at the end. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad ending, they just lost points from me for being unoriginal.
So,
After Midnight ends up being a nice horror anthology with some solid stories (I’m convinced the second one would make a good feature film), but looses a little credibility from me for the end. It does have some good stuff in it though and I’d recommend it to any anthology fans, especially if they’re looking for something a little different than from their anthologies beyond the usual ghost or monster tale.
