Dying is trendy?

[Luke]

Are you oblivious or deliberately yanking our chains? We all are making assumptions about your motives (or lack thereof) because we just don't know what's up.

[TEKTORO]

Sounds like something is misguiding you, make it your strength and not your weakness. Life is hard, not fair and uniquely relentless with ups and downs, rock bottoms are strange to the fact you may need it to have the power to flip a 180. Don't take life for granted take advantage of being here cry if you have to but look in the mirror and say to yourself with a smile something that will make you feel good. The harder it is the harder you should work to prove you won't settle for less, yes we all die from something at sometime but it's not something your ever get back.

[J T]

I'm sorry there has been so much suicide in your circle of family and friends lately. That is terribly sad. It is true that suicide affects more than the person killing himself or herself and that there are ripple effects that can lead to other suicides whether it is copycat contagion, modeling dysfunctional coping, cues for suicidal thinking, or just the more obvious difficulty in knowing how to cope with the sadness and grief that follows having someone close to you die, especially when they died by their own hand. Most everyone has a hard time dealing with that.

Just remember that you don't want to have a similar effect on the people you most care about. Remember the things you have to live for, whether it's something grand like fulfilling your destiny and life's purpose and realizing a lifelong dream, or something simple like just getting to the play the next sequel to your favorite game or seeing the next stupid youtube video of a yodeling asian chickenman (WTF guys?). Remember that there are people that you can turn to for help, whether it's friends and family, or a professional, or even a helpline. Again, sorry you've experienced these tragedies recently and I wish you the best in pulling yourself up from it.

[jvalentine98]

Regarding the original post, be it as it may. It was what it was. Lashing out, whatever you want to call it. I don't have to see any of you so maybe that makes it easier. I am a good person, I think respectable would be the word. I work, take care of my business in my personal life, no criminal history, no children I don't support (I don't have children.) So, I guess there are a lot of worse people out there.

My main outlet is music. I have been playing and songwriting for 16 years give or take the few breaks here and there. In other words, I'm a self supportive citizen who abides the law and does as he is supposed to, opposite to criminal scum.

My fiance is currently in a mental institution, she has a long, long history of mental illness that runs in her family. She draws a government check and food stamps, so for those who say I am too republican, then there you go. We have government support monthly in our household. Currently, she has been abusing things like xanex, hydrocodone, etc. It's hard to watch someone you would die for give up, so to say. Or give in. I don't touch anything you can't buy over the counter, so no illegal use on my part. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't, I get randomly drug tested at work and my livelihood isn't worth that. It just really wears on a person. So to go along with the recent suicides of friends, there is that. Nothing other than possessions to come home to, which as we all know are nothing anyway. Nothing meaningful.

You do the right things, you make an honest days pay, you take care of business and then your whole world blows up in your face. I don't have the guts to blow my brains out or suffocate myself with a piece of rope. It has entered my mind, as I'm sure it has many others, just as a passing thought. I'm really just at my ropes end. I know days and nights come and go and all things pass. I'm just having a hard time with this particular time period.

All apologies.

[jvalentine98]

Maybe I'm playing devil's advocate here, but sometimes I think Jvalentine98 gets a bit too much hate. It's almost like it's sanctioned around here to tear into his ass. Now, I'm not saying I don't see why people get upset with him, but I do think he's a bit too much of a public whipping boy from what I've seen. Even if you don't agree with this guy's views (and again, I understand why), you have to admire that he at least doesn't filter himself and what he says he actually means. I can respect someone who talks bluntly and doesn't beat around the bush, even if their opinions are seemingly ignorant, utterly unpopular, and out of touch with political correctness. He might exist in his own bubble but he doesn't try to push sugar coated subterfuge on anyone.

That said, Jvalentine98, I don't know you. But I know you've got too much to live for. You're walking this earth for a reason, and that reason is not to blow your brains out. There will be plenty of time for being dead. Figure out what being alive is for. If I were you the first thing I'd do is stop drinking. In 2009 I was utterly depressed, but then I read a book that changed my life. This is that book. Does it look like a joke? Read it, you won't be laughing. Bet on it.

I didn't mean to offend anyone, ever, but in a nation of free speech it is important to hear even the unpopular. Remember, what is politically correct today was once unpopular. And the popular vote did go to republicans, so are my views THAT unpopular?

[TSTR]

All bullshit aside dood, here's hoping things work out for you. That sounds like a tough patch you're going through, and I wish that on no one.

[jp1]

I didn't mean to offend anyone, ever, but in a nation of free speech it is important to hear even the unpopular. Remember, what is politically correct today was once unpopular. And the popular vote did go to republicans, so are my views THAT unpopular?

You are right, free speech is important in our nation. It is a freedom that people often mistake for the right to say whatever they want on privately owned forums, or in privately owned businesses. It's also a freedom that should be shared equally. So, for instance if you say something offensive to someone and then they say something back to you that you dislike, they are exercising the same freedom you are.

Like TSTR said though, all bullshit aside (and it is all bullshit, this is the internet after all), you need to get focused on some positive shit in life. You definitely need to take care with focusing on your drinking and getting yourself healthy both mentally and physically. You shouldn't ever shrug off notions of suicide, they are not "normal" and they don't happen to everyone. You need to talk to someone...

I'm sure many people think it's no big deal until they get drunk and/or emotional one night and it becomes a very big deal. This just isn't the place to deal with these very real problems you have going on. Blow off some steam? Sure. Don't mistake the opinions and feelings of people on the internet, who don't know you, for ideas that should affect your every day life or decisions. I'm concerned by the nonchalant tone you take about suicidal thoughts. It is always a big deal, and it should always be addressed by a professional.

As for this...

She draws a government check and food stamps, so for those who say I am too republican, then there you go. We have government support monthly in our household.

Why the hell would you make disparaging remarks about welfare if this is the case? You obviously see the need for such programs, if you truly don't believe in them, you shouldn't accept them as a part of your life. Nobody cares if you are Republican, or conservative, I wish you could understand that. Clearly you should understand that making disparaging remarks about an entire group of people is wrong. That is the only problem anyone has ever had with you Jvalentine. I'm only bringing it up again to try and explain, not to rehash an argument. Anyway, please seek out and talk to someone who is qualified to handle your suicidal thoughts before they turn into something more serious. You have clearly got too much on your plate to handle by yourself, there is no shame in getting some help.

[Golgo 14]

She draws a government check and food stamps, so for those who say I am too republican, then there you go. We have government support monthly in our household.

Why the hell would you make disparaging remarks about welfare if this is the case? You obviously see the need for such programs, if you truly don't believe in them, you shouldn't accept them as a part of your life.

It doesn't make any sense, but I don't think it is all that uncommon. What people do and how they like to think of themselves are often very different. I have a friend who didn't work for years and was on multiple kinds of assistance. She says she's a Libertarian.

Anyway, jvalentine, you need someone to talk to, and not on the Internet. You don't like seeing your fiancee give up, so don't give up yourself. Seek out real help. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and probably the best thing you can do for your fiancee as well.

[Mozgus]

My, this is a potent thread. The only thing I'd like to say on the subject is I firmly believe everyone has the right to check out of life, and it actually makes me very angry when others say it's cowardly or never the right option, and the very fact that it's illegal to do so, lol.

I look at it logically. I don't think modern life is for everyone. The vast majority, sure, but not everyone is born the same. Not every mind is aligned right. Not every mind can be realigned (cured) to appreciate life. A lot of minds have leftover monkey shit in them, wanting a lifestyle that this world for the most part no longer offers the human race. I don't think there is a miracle of life. There's nothing special about it. We're all just carbon and shit.

If I were actually suicidal, I'd sooner just abandon my lifestyle and try countless new ones. I've thought about disconnecting and intentionally becoming homeless and maybe living out of a van for a year. Just for the hell of it. Just to feel free and nomadic. I've known people who found it enlightening. The daily urban grind rots the mind and sometimes you need a change. You could even take it further and just try a new country. Anything. I'm not saying anything is worse than death. I'm saying it's strategically your best path.