What Made you Smile/What Ticked you off Today?

[Luke]

Family is not an obligation, and it's not a free pass to be an ass to someone.

Will you please write my eulogy? I'll pay.

[TSTR]

@aaron - It's all for you, Damien! It's all for you!

[Frag Mortuus]

If you are presented with another opportunity, you should move. Your parents clearly have enough family in the area, and you need to do what is best for your family and your children.

Currently my wife is scheduled to graduate with her Bachelor's in May of 2016. So, we are sticking around until then. I don't want to have her take time off while switching schools this late in the game. I'm using this "idle" time before then to get some IT certs in hopes of making myself more marketable. I have a BS in Computer Science and by that time I will have approximately 5 years experience as a Network / Server Administrator. Once my wife is at the point that she is ready to apply for graduation and we have a hard date then I'm going to start job hunting. We are really looking at the Pittsburgh area. Pittsburgh is a great place for IT right now. Plus PA ranks third in the nation in school quality, which is great for my kids and my wife's future career. Also, if she can get into one of the 48 school districts in the actual city of Pittsburgh then her career salary will be pretty great. The lowest of all the districts has a career salary of approximately $80k/yr, the highest is $130/k. Also, the crime rate ranks 5 lowest in the country among all major metropolis', unemployment rate is far below the national average, and not to mention that my kids will better access to colleges like Carnegie Mellon and Pitt. I have a friend that lives in Pittsburgh and his cost of living is really cheap. He can walk to Hines Field, the Subway, the Riviera Casino and a bunch of other great places. His rent for a 3BR 2BA apartment in a really good neighborhood is $800/month. I was looking at housing prices and a detached house with a full yard, 3BR 2BA, 1500sqft (not a fixer) was about $120k. Which is the same price I will pay here in southern WV.

Frag - I hate to say it, but sometimes you have to just have to take family as it is. It sucks and I feel for you, but its one of those things that if you batten down the hatches and get through, things will be better at the end.

I agree. My family are great people, but sometimes they frustrate the hell out of me. Which I suppose is normal, lol. My focus now is finding out how to give my family the best opportunities possible. Which even includes moving abroad if the opportunity ever presents itself. My wife is fine with it as long as we all benefit from it.

And I don't think Frag comes off as a jerk here, but he shouldn't be upset because of a double standard. His post started off with "no weekends" and then shifts to "but...". If his parents do x for other family members and does y for him, who cares? My parents bought my Sister a Cessna 172 when she was fifteen, a new Ford Taurus when she was sixteen, and paid her way through college and to get her doctorate. I got my first car when I was twenty because I had to pay for it. I paid my way through school. So what? Parents are like that whether intentional or not.

I agree with you as well. I generally do accept my situation as is. I had a similar situation as yourself growing up. My parents bought my sister four cars throughout college but made me buy my own, paid her bills while in school which was extremely hard on them financially, helped her out financially during certain periods of her life, and even now my mom (not step-mom as in my OP) travels to my sisters house every few weeks (taking time off of work), four hours away to help her with her baby and so that my sister and her husband can get time alone. But won't watch our kids, even when my daughter says things like "I miss Mawmaw, I never get to see her anymore" because she says she has to work. She is self employed and has never had a problem rearranging her schedule for things in the past. None of this has ever bothered me until it started involving my kids. I guess the parent in me can't accept preferential treatment towards them. I can take it when I feel it's only affecting me, and not think twice nor harbor any hard feelings. But, I'm a pretty overprotective person by nature, so when I feel my wife or kids have been slighted I get upset.

Also I never say anything to anyone about this bias I feel is pretty evident. I don't complain or have an attitude towards any of them. As far as they know I've never been upset with them. My family is not one that can talk through things. My mom is quick to get defensive, so it's not worth the drama. When we have tried to address things like asking my step mom to pick up an additional week day with my son to shave our day care bill, I'm careful not to compare the treatment of our situation to my step brothers. Because since everyone is so quick to anger and get defensive I don't want to lose what little help we are getting. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" or "don't cut off your nose to spite your face", which ever one fits there. Both I think.

[Forlorn Drifter]

Sorry to hear about everything Frag, hope it all works out.

I've got my PSN account set up, so ya'll can add me or whatever. All I have currently is The Last of Us, which I'm really liking. My PSN is Green-Whiskey, so shoot me a message or whatever.

[Czernobog]

Frag, I feel you. When I was most struggling (still am in many regards) after graduating college, my parents paid for my brother (who has a history of behavioral issues - he twice tried to stab me with a kitchen knife on separate occasions, and has always treated my parents appallingly disrespectfully) to have his very own condo, and now my entire extended family seems to think much higher of him than I because I've had to move back in with my dad since I've decided to go back to college for a second Bachelor's. Don't get me wrong, my dad's awesome and a generous guy for letting me stay with him (and I know the condo was a means to get my brother away), but it still hits you in the gut to see someone only being rewarded for terrible behavior their whole life.

BEYOND TICKED: As a couple people here know, I was working in a stressful Special Education position, before deciding to go back to college full-time to get a different degree. Well, I took a shitload of transferable classes in community college over the last year and am now trying to get into a University to finish off the degree.

The problem is that the art school I earned my first bachelors at, which is fully accredited, doesn't seem capable of mailing a fucking envelope. It's been two months now since I requested, and payed for, them to send my official transcripts. I have been back 4 times in person, and will likely be going back again in person. Each time I have been assured by different people that they would be sent.

Last time I was told there was no record of the request! So I had the accountant look up the record of my damn payment, and was assured an entirely new transcript would be sent that day and should arrive in 3 business day. Well, it's been over a week and a half. I'm at my wits end here, and not sure what my recourse is. I keep getting told they're going to mail something and then they don't seem to be doing it. I have checked with the University and the address and everything I'm doing is correct and they are keeping an eye out for me.

[Frag Mortuus]

Transcripts

I had similar issues with the first college I attended. My parents were both self employed when I started college in 2001. So, when I would fill out my FAFSA each year I would declare the amount that my parents reported to the governement for Gross Income. This typically resulted in an "Expected Family Contribution" of zero. Which means I should get the maximum amount of grants possible. Well each semester for three and a half years I would "randomly" get selected for income verification. Which means the college required that I bring them a copy of my parent's W9. The semester before I switched colleges, I was once again "randomly" (they said it was completely random) selected. So, I bring them the W9 well before the semester even started. But, I never received an awards letter indicating that my financial aid had been approved. I contacted them again and they said that they still hadn't received the W9. So, I bring them a second copy. This happened four total times. The final time was after the semester had started. I received a letter stating that if my tuition and fees werent paid by X date that I would be kicked out until the following semester. I marched into the financial aid office, asked the clerk what the issue is, to which she again states they haven't received the W9. I asked her to "please" bring me my file. She brings a huge manilla file folder, opens it up on the counter and laying on top were FOUR copies of the W9. She looked up at me dumbfounded and just said that she was sorry and that they would process it immediately. The worst part is that they wouldn't wave the late payment fee that they caused me to have, which was like $200. I switched majors and school the following semester and never had an administration issue again. My wife is at the same college (now a university) and is having the exact same issue that I had 10 years ago.

I would just keep bugging the hell out of them if I were you. Eventually they will get so sick of hearing from you that they will send the transcripts just to shut you up. I would check with your new school everyday to see if they have your transcripts yet. If not, then I would hound the old school asking for a tracking number. They have to send it certified mail, so they get a tracking number.

Sometimes you have to act that way for people to do their jobs

[Czernobog]

Yeah, I'm by no means not going to stop bugging them. It's pretty sad when you have to deal with employees who think things will go away if they just ignore them. I hadn't considered that there would be a tracking number. I'll definitely bring that up when I'm there again. I just shot the University they should be sent to another email this morning asking if they can make sure they haven't arrived and are on a desk or something, but I'm 99% certain the art school is just incompetent.

[MrPopo]

Yeah, I'm by no means not going to stop bugging them. It's pretty sad when you have to deal with employees who think things will go away if they just ignore them. I hadn't considered that there would be a tracking number. I'll definitely bring that up when I'm there again. I just shot the University they should be sent to another email this morning asking if they can make sure they haven't arrived and are on a desk or something, but I'm 99% certain the art school is just incompetent.

My suggestion would be to show up there in person, and refuse to leave until they've walked through the entire process in front of you. It can't be that hard for someone to actually pull up and mail a transcript; I'm sure your request just keeps getting overlooked cause they're busy doing anything else.

[Czernobog]

My suggestion would be to show up there in person, and refuse to leave until they've walked through the entire process in front of you. It can't be that hard for someone to actually pull up and mail a transcript; I'm sure your request just keeps getting overlooked cause they're busy doing anything else.

I've got a day where I can (and will) do this next week. Unfortunately, I think it's the only way they're going to get sent. I need to actually see them go into the mail at this point to be even remotely convinced.

[fastbilly1]

Ticked - A buddy's wife of ten years left him today to "try being a lesbian." There are kids involved, so there is no good way to approach this.