Random Thoughts Thread

[catnip]

I can see what mah boi Drifter is saying to a point. I definitely think it's pretty broad generalization, but I know my girlfriend and I have talked about "opening up" our relationship, just because she's more into sex than I am, and both of us (obviously) still find other people attractive.

I think that, as is often the case with dichotomies, this is a false one. A relationship can be perfectly serious while having multiple partners, even if the partners aren't mutual.

Do I think that attraction is "all that matters"? No, of course not. I love my girlfriend, and I want her to be happy. She loves me too, and brought up the concern that we have different sexual needs. If physical attraction was all that mattered, we simply wouldn't be in a relationship any more. But we are. And it's awesome.

[AppleQueso]

Norris what are you even doing

[Luke]

Luke is a perfect example of this kind of attitude.

Thanks. I think.

I'm actually a very, very humble dude. I try to help out everyone I know, and never expect a thank-you. I'm a fan of rephrasing cliches, so I simply "Do unto others" and leave out the "as they do to you" part.

But facts are facts and when I think I'm right and have the facts to back it up, I will challenge anyone. I don't think that is being arrogant, I find that as being smart. I do push the envelope, but I have a lot to show for it, because frankly I do have a mindset that almost anything is possible with hard work. I don't give up and the more difficult the challenge the more I chase it.

And no, I'm not anything like this guy. Quite the opposite.

[fastbilly1]

I really wish I had admin powers so I could change your username to "Optimistic Drifter" to hopefully give you a better outlook on life.

Why don't you have admin powers?

He can have mine...In all honesty, there are only three Admins for the site: Racket, a third party developer buddy of Rackets, and myself. But there is no need for there to be three, I tried to step down awhile ago. But Mods have the power to do everything related to forums, so that is what is most important.

[catnip]

My head hurts.

[pepharytheworm]

I can see what mah boi Drifter is saying to a point. I definitely think it's pretty broad generalization, but I know my girlfriend and I have talked about "opening up" our relationship, just because she's more into sex than I am, and both of us (obviously) still find other people attractive.

I think that, as is often the case with dichotomies, this is a false one. A relationship can be perfectly serious while having multiple partners, even if the partners aren't mutual.

Do I think that attraction is "all that matters"? No, of course not. I love my girlfriend, and I want her to be happy. She loves me too, and brought up the concern that we have different sexual needs. If physical attraction was all that mattered, we simply wouldn't be in a relationship any more. But we are. And it's awesome.

Believe it or not you hit the nail on the head on where so many relationship problems comes from. Monogamy I realized causes so many problems, we say we love each other but then treat each other like property. Attraction for others will exist no matter how much you love one person. Our views on sex are so backwards. "hey you can have friends and do anything with them accept sexual physical expression, if you do that you don't love me" "how can I be with you after you had another penis/vagina touch you." Our society makes people cheat. If we could be open about our sexual desires and not ashamed of them people wouldn't need to cheat.

I have a polyamorous relationship, and to be honest we amost exclusively see each other and not others. But we don't stop each other from expressing love and desires. Just be open, honest and safe. We are independent of each other and together at the same time. No reason to cheat or lie in that kind of relationship. But to each their own.

[catnip]

Believe it or not you hit the nail on the head on where so many relationship problems comes from. Monogamy I realized causes so many problems, we say we love each other but then treat each other like property. Attraction for others will exist no matter how much you love one person. Our views on sex are so backwards. "hey you can have friends and do anything with them accept sexual physical expression, if you do that you don't love me" "how can I be with you after you had another penis/vagina touch you." Our society makes people cheat. If we could be open about our sexual desires and not ashamed of them people wouldn't need to cheat.

I have a polyamorous relationship, and to be honest we amost exclusively see each other and not others. But we don't stop each other from expressing love and desires. Just be open, honest and safe. We are independent of each other and together at the same time. No reason to cheat or lie in that kind of relationship. But to each their own.

A-fuckin'-men. All this said, we haven't yet opened it up, we're still in the talking stages. But honestly, beyond some possible strangeness at first, I think it could very well make our relationship stronger. I've got nothing wrong with mono-amorous relationships, but, as you said, to each their own!

EDIT: Yeah, that's the other thing - the whole "omg this penis/vagina was in your area while we were exclusively putting our downstairs parts together that makes you a terrible person" has never really jived with me... Seems kind of silly.

[Jmustang1968]

I disagree with most of the above two posts. It is about commitment and respect. However, if a couple both wants to have that open relationship then hey, that's all good for them. I do believe this is more of an exception.

Having multiple partners often breeds fierce jealousy and creates trust issues.

[catnip]

Having multiple partners often breeds fierce jealousy and creates trust issues.

For some, certainly. As I think both of us have said, it's not for everyone.

[Jmustang1968]

Having multiple partners often breeds fierce jealousy and creates trust issues.

For some, certainly. As I think both of us have said, it's not for everyone.

I would contend it is not for the vast majority.