Pet Pics

[Cronozilla]

I've been avoiding this thread for a long time because my dog has been in end-of-life for awhile. She was diagnosed with lung cancer almost four years ago, and since then it's just not something I wanted to recognize externally while we dealt with it. We operated on her lungs, twice, and she recovered from all of that. About a year and a half ago she started loosing muscle mass, and we'd been handling that, but in the last week, her abdomen filled up with fluid. We got it drained (1.2L) and they found that her digestive lymph-node system had ruptured due to Carcinoma masses, filling her abdomen with protein fluids.

On Friday evening, surrounded by people whom love her, at home, comfortable in her bed, she passed away. She was 16 years and 3 months old, and her veterinarian of over 8 years was there (I didn't want her to be responsible for this), and she talks about her old dog very often, his name was Jo jo. She gave me the picture frame she kept his picture in until this week. Jo jo was 16 and a half when he went. Everyone helped make it a lot easier to do. And she was so tired, if we hadn't done this she would have soon had much worse problems that would painfully end her life within a handful of days. The day prior she had a seizure, and I wouldn't have wanted her to die from seizing for hours.

The following day was worse. We buried her and the groundskeeper was a piece of shit whom didn't measure the plot before we got there, he just dug, and he complained the entire time that he had to fix it. And the worst thing is that, I was being rushed around the entire time by other people, I didn't get to take a lock of her fur and that's really bothering me now. I was planning on putting it in the picture frame with a photo.

Currently, I'm trying to deal with this, but she was an enormous part of my life. I'm only 30 and she had been a part of my family since I was 14; now she isn't here and I don't feel like myself anymore.

Her name is Orion

[TSTR]

^My condolences for your loss, Crono. The second and final of our family dogs passed less than a year ago, so I can sympathize. Losing a pet is always so hard, especially one that's had a long and happy life, as I'm sure your girl Orion did. She looks like a sweetheart.

[Stark]

@Crono sorry to hear about Orion. Hope you find a way to cope.

[Cronozilla]

Thanks.

It wasn't meant to derail the thread. Sorry if people are uncomfortable.

[marurun]

Your sadness made my kitty less fluffy...

Will you, at some point, be bringing another pet into your life?

[Cronozilla]

I'm sorry about that, I know it's horribly depressing news and everyone whom comes into this thread is going to be eying their friend really thinking, "what if ...?" And it's a horribly difficult thing. So, I'm sorry about that.

I don't know if I'd get another one.

It's such a difficult thing to think about. Does it mean she wasn't as important as I thought? Or would I treat the new animal a certain way because it isn't her? They're questions that bother me.

I certainly miss having a dog around ... but, mostly I miss having her around. I've been around other dogs ... and they weren't anything like her. And I wouldn't want to resent a new animal because it's not her. That would just be horrible for everyone involved.

I also didn't know how I'd feel after she went. I knew it was coming, but it feels like night and day in a few ways. I don't know if it's entirely sunk in yet, because I still feel like she's around ... just not in the same room as me, or she's at the groomer or something like that.

I still have to get up when I'm going to go to bed and go downstairs ... because I used to go and take her out before bed then bring her up with me. And it's tough. Now my bed feels enormous and cold and I just wake up with aches all over.

If I had another dog, or whatever, there'd be things I'd do different financially ... like pay for pet insurance. If we had insurance ... I might have been able to afford some chemotherapy, and the cancer might have stayed at bay longer. She recovered from the surgeries so well and there were no signs of it back until very late last year. It appears that it developed in her digestive tract ... and caused every single problem she was having. Prior to September or October last year ... only the gray on her face would make you think she was any older than 6 or 7. And, that's something that's bothering me too, it would mean I, in fact, did not do everything possible. And that's really hard.

This isn't fun times, guys ... and to top it off, my dad got a call this morning telling him his mom passed away. She's been fighting pancreatic cancer for a few months ... but the symptoms were there for a few years.

His dad passed away last September.

It's been a pretty awful 6 (or so) months.

[Hobie-wan]

That's rough man. If you do think about sharing the love with another pet, consider adopting from a shelter.

[Key-Glyph]

Chrono, I'm sorry for your loss. Definitely don't feel guilty about "derailing the thread" with your sad news; we're exactly the sort of people who will sympathize and want to comfort you, having been through similar situations ourselves.

She looks like such a sweetie, and you obviously loved her very much. I bet she had a grand old time with you.

I know what you mean about "not feeling like yourself" anymore; I had a dog grow up with me from the time I was five years old until I was almost eighteen. I didn't know what to do without her; I didn't eat right for months, and I hated being in the empty house by myself from then on.

Back then I spent some time in a pet loss chat room that is fairly well-known, or at least used to be, which you can find on this page, along with a related forum. The website itself has a religious/spiritual Christian flavor in some respects, particularly with their candle lighting ceremony, but as far as I remember it was inclusive to everybody regardless of faith.

[Ziggy]

@ Crono: I'm very sorry to hear this.

I can totally relate with a similar story.

A few years ago I had to put my dog down. My family got him as a pup when I was about 7 or 8. It was really hard on me. I think he was 13 or 14 when he died.

I noticed him stumbling and a few vet visits later he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and hypoglycemia (his stumbling was actually him loosing consciousness from low blood sugar). The tumor was inoperable. He starting doing really bad and was taken to a vet hospital while I was at work one day. He was there for a day or two, and it was decided to put him down. I was so upset, I didn't even wanna go to visit him before he was put down. I felt like seeing him would only make it worse. I told myself that I wouldn't want my last time seeing him to be him all sick and dying.

But, the next day, we got a call and all his numbers were up and he was magically doing better. I remember having such a torn feeling after hearing the news. The night before I knew that my dog was going to be put down the next morning, and I already went through a certain amount of grieving and mental preparation. Just to know that I'd have to go through it again really bothered me. But on the other hand, I'd get to see my dog again. I guess it was just one extreme feeling to another and it was hard to process. I left work early that day because I really just wanted to see him.

He ended up having almost a full year after that, and right up until the last month or so was really good. I wont go into detail, I'll just say that one night he took a turn for the worse and the next day we had to take him to get put down. He didn't suffer, I don't believe, but it was still really hard on me. Having your dog put down is one of the hardest things in life, no matter how it happens.


With in a few months of this, my dad's dad died of cancer (his mother had passed away some years before). So it really wasn't good times for the family.

Anyway, I know how you must feel right now, and I am very sad to hear.

[aaron]

someone had a big weekend.