I need some help with my bad perfectionist/Compulsive habits

[Mad_Hatter]

Hi,

I'm a little embarrassed to create this thread, but I thought someone else might have been in my shoes and can help me out.

Anyway, I have always been a neat freak, had some harmless perfectionist/compulsive habits. I always keep my things clean and organized. Whether it is at home or files on my computer, I kept everything in it's place.

But recently, after I graduated college and became unemployed, I have more time on my hands and I noticed that my habits have become more compulsive than usual. Before if it was clean and organized, it was enough. But now, it has become more detailed and more compulsive.
- For example, if I organize a stack of papers, a landscape oriented page has to be facing a certain way.
- For my computer files, I have to use a "&" instead of "And". I have certain cases to use a "-" or parenthesis.
- I have spent a few hours of my weekend rewriting titles on my backed up Dreamcast and Saturn CDs with a sharpie and making sure I use my hyphens, colons, and parenthesis correctly.
- I have been reorganizing my games on my R4i NDS and EZ Flash IV card. I keep adding new games, deleting some, reorganizing, rewriting the file names, etc.
- I have to make sure my settings for a video game are perfect. Like when I play WoW especially, my addons had to be tiptop. I tried to keep the variables even numbers. I tried to keep the UI aligned correctly. I stopped playing that game for that very reason. I had a lot of fun with it, but I didn't want to spend too much time doing things like setting my addons and cleaning out my character's bags everyday.
- I have been organizing my documents, music, and videos in external hard drive and USB flash drives a lot lately.

I feel it is getting out of hand now. Last night in my car, I noticed I had a song on my phone where the title had "And" instead of "&". I have not changed it yet, because I feel I need to move on from these useless habits, but part of me feels I have to change it.

I wouldn't say I have OCD because I don't freak out. I still sleep like a baby and have lots of fun when I want to.

One thing that scares me a little bit is that I prevent myself from burning games, getting new music & videos, buying new things, because I feel that it is just more stuff that I will have to organize later. I have been throwing away old things that I hoarded.

I do not like these habits of mine, but I feel like I have to do them before I move on (get a job, grow up some more).

Has anyone been in my situation before and have any advice?

[TSTR]

From your description, I'd say you just like things to be a certain way, and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as your habits aren't causing you distress in your life, then it doesn't seem to be much of a problem. Especially so, since you are actively avoiding the acquisition of more things to organize and are easily able to dispose of other things you no longer need/want.

I have these tendencies with certain things too: DVD and game collections, my MP3 files and other files on my computer, and so on. I just like to know where all my stuff is and have it looking the way I want, but I don't freak out over it either. We're probably in the same kind of boat.

[s1mplehumar]

But recently, after I graduated college and became unemployed, I have more time on my hands and I noticed that my habits have become more compulsive than usual. Before if it was clean and organized, it was enough. But now, it has become more detailed and more compulsive.

I think you've summed it up best here. Put your free time to good use - not just gaming, cataloging your music files, etc. I've never been diagnosed for OCD, but I can tell you that I have some darned annoying organization quirks. Now that I'm a father (with another on the way), and have a job that keeps me on my toes, I find it harder to sweat the small stuff. I'm simply too busy to fuss over the minute details that I used to. Gnome sayin'?

Some of the things you've mentioned here I can relate to, if only on a smaller scale. There's always a balance to things. Ask yourself what your priorities are.

Done rambling...

[Mad_Hatter]

From your description, I'd say you just like things to be a certain way, and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as your habits aren't causing you distress in your life, then it doesn't seem to be much of a problem. Especially so, since you are actively avoiding the acquisition of more things to organize and are easily able to dispose of other things you no longer need/want.

I have these tendencies with certain things too: DVD and game collections, my MP3 files and other files on my computer, and so on. I just like to know where all my stuff is and have it looking the way I want, but I don't freak out over it either. We're probably in the same kind of boat.

Thanks!

It has been causing some stress tbh, not distress though. Nothing major though.

But recently, after I graduated college and became unemployed, I have more time on my hands and I noticed that my habits have become more compulsive than usual. Before if it was clean and organized, it was enough. But now, it has become more detailed and more compulsive.

I think you've summed it up best here. Put your free time to good use - not just gaming, cataloging your music files, etc. I've never been diagnosed for OCD, but I can tell you that I have some darned annoying organization quirks. Now that I'm a father (with another on the way), and have a job that keeps me on my toes, I find it harder to sweat the small stuff. I'm simply too busy to fuss over the minute details that I used to. Gnome sayin'?

Some of the things you've mentioned here I can relate to, if only on a smaller scale. There's always a balance to things. Ask yourself what your priorities are.

Done rambling...

Thanks. And grats on your new kid.

Went out to play some ball the other day for a few hours. I guess the fresh air and sunlight brought new joy. Right now, I feel my habits can wait. But I hope down the line, I feel that those habits are no longer needed.

[samsonlonghair]

We all have our idiosyncrasies. As long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, it's not a big problem.

You need a better place to focus your energy while you're unemployed. I recommend volunteer work. See how you can spend your free time helping your community.

Pro tip: organizations like Rotary, Community Improvement Commission, Lions Club, Victim's Defense fund, and others are good places to help your community while networking with influential professionals who can help you find employment elsewhere.

[s1mplehumar]

As long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else, it's not a big problem.

I tend to disagree with this thinking. I mean, sometimes we don't realize we're hurting ourselves or others. And how are we measuring hurt?

To me, it sounds like you're convicted by your habits, sp and want to deviate from the path you're on. I think that's good thinking. Are you hurting yourself or anyone by meticulously cataloging, labeling, and having potential OCD tendencies? I doubt it. But are we really helping others our ourselves? I think not.

[BoringSupreez]

I'm not saying that you should be upset over this or anything, but you definitely have OCD. As log as it's not causing distress and you're able to live comfortably, it's nothing to be particularly upset over.

As for advice, just try doing things that go against what you feel you need to do. Try new things. I'll admit that I have a few OCD tendencies and when I've been forced to go against them it's felt kind of liberating.

[KalessinDB]

I'm not saying that you should be upset over this or anything, but you definitely have OCD. As log as it's not causing distress and you're able to live comfortably, it's nothing to be particularly upset over.

One of the requirements for any psychological disorder to be classified as such is that it is causing "Present distress". So by definition (at least according to DSM), if it's not causing distress, he actually doesn't have OCD. At least clinically. If we use it in the vernacular with the "Everyone who likes something done a certain way has OCD", then yeah I'm with you, that's pretty extreme pickiness

[Frag Mortuus]

Of course, I'm not a professional in any way, shape, or form. But, my take on it is this: Since becoming unemployed your habits have become more intense, which could mean that you feel that you don't have control of your life and being able to organize and label things to a very strict set of requirements is your way of assuming some control in your life. When you find employment again these tendencies will probably go back to a more reasonable level.

I think most people that collect have the same tendencies that you do (I know I do ). I wouldn't put too much concern into it. However, if you start feeling distressed because your things aren't "just so", or if you start to skip responsibilities because you are putting your organization habits before them, then I would seek help. Also, if you're seriously that worried about these issues, I would go ahead and seek help now. But, IMO, it seems like you have your self together and I wouldn't worry about.

Like others have said, you probably just need a better outlet for your energy.

[Luke]

You need to start eating more bananas.

Trust me. Fixes everything.