Forlorn Drifter wrote:
@Ack
You might be right there, but I stand by it that I am weak if I take help for emotions. I'm a male, I should have had control of my emotions years ago, and I don't, and thus I am weak. And if I do go to the doctor and he tells me I'm ok, then what does that say? I'm just a sad, downer piece of shit that deserves the way he treats himself.
Yes, you are weak. Not because you need help, but because you refuse it. A lot of good men don't have control over their emotions, but they at least try to find ways to improve themselves. The weak ones do nothing about it.
And if you do go to the doctor and he tells you that you're ok, then perhaps you are a downer, but you can be proud of how well you know yourself and can come back and tell us how full of shit we are.
Forlorn, you make posts begging for attention, but you always ignore the attention. Like most everyone else in this thread - we hesitate to even respond because you'll find some irrelevant reason to not even consider the advice.
The idea that accepting help, be it counseling or otherwise, makes one weak is possibly the silliest thing you've said on this site...and their are A LOT of contenders. NOTHING is done in this world without help. Nothing.
Was yr car built by one man - were all the parts invented, fabricated, and put together by one person? It doesn't matter what analogy you use - EVERYTHING done, is done with the help of others. A manager is nothing w/o his employees helping him. A single mother will struggle without the help of family, and a person with low self-esteem, or perhaps a chemical imbalance, will struggle without help - you are not special in this regard.
I like to think i'm a pretty confident and comfortable person and let me tell you - I am a raging alcholic. DUI's, assaults, piss the bed, womanize, and embarrass anyone who dared associate with me. For years when people would say, "you need professional help." I had similar thoughts to you, "...I know what i'm doing, if I want to stop, I can, i'm a grown man, I can control it." While I continued to think that, I continued to hurt everyone around me - off and on for a few years, and it wasn't until 7 years ago when I made a conscious effort, at behest of my wife, to seek professional help and reaffirm my flawed relationship with Christ; that my life changed. Without that help, I don't want to consider where or what I might be, but I do know that with the help, the last 7 years of my life have been as good (or better) than the first 18 years of my life.
I hope for once you will go back and read the last few pages of this thread with an impartial detached view. "When Bob has a problem with everyone; Bob is usually the problem."
MrPopo wrote:Anesthesia is very different from psych drugs. With anesthesia the goal is to allow you to put up with a larger amount of pain than you might otherwise be able to handle, so because different people have different pain tolerances it's not that unreasonable to forgo anesthetic at times. But that isn't this.
I understand that; I was just letting Drifter know he's not alone in his position. Frankly, if I found out I had a chemical imbalance in my brain, I would not fix it with drugs. At least, not before doing everything else I could think of to improve myself. It would be a last resort. As I illustrated before, it's not entirely different from bashing your head with a rock hoping to feel better.
mj, I'm not saying you shouldn't have sought help or used drugs to alter the chemical balance of your brain. Sounds like things worked out great for you. Maybe things would work for Drifter too.
My problem is more like this:
If you want a virtue, act like you have it, and it will be yours.
noiseredux wrote:Playing on your GBA/PSP you can be watching a movie/TV show/playing another RPG on your TV and then just look at the screen every once in a while
Valkyrie-Favor wrote:I understand that; I was just letting Drifter know he's not alone in his position.
But he won't go do anything. Don't want to take drugs? Ok, I can understand that a bit too. I tend to not even take pain relievers unless I'm really sick. But talking to someone and either getting some frustration out or having someone help you understand what's going on is a valid and non invasive step that is even being refused.
MrPopo wrote:Anesthesia is very different from psych drugs. With anesthesia the goal is to allow you to put up with a larger amount of pain than you might otherwise be able to handle, so because different people have different pain tolerances it's not that unreasonable to forgo anesthetic at times. But that isn't this.
I understand that; I was just letting Drifter know he's not alone in his position. Frankly, if I found out I had a chemical imbalance in my brain, I would not fix it with drugs. At least, not before doing everything else I could think of to improve myself. It would be a last resort. As I illustrated before, it's not entirely different from bashing your head with a rock hoping to feel better.
Here's the problem; if you have a chemical imbalance or something similar then it's as if you're driving a car with a messed up alignment. If you're focusing on it you can keep going straight, but the better solution is to fix the root of the problem. If your teeth are crooked are you against correcting that with braces? This is the same thing. (as an aside, I do not dispute that sometimes we overprescribe drugs when some situations can be fully solved with standard therapy, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater)
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CFFJR, you're right about most of it, as far as I can tell. There are some things I don't agree with though. I understand the point on gender roles, but when it comes to emotions, I should be solidified by now. When I look at my grandfathers and my father, I see men who went out there and got shit done. Both of my grandfathers quit school in 8th grade and had jobs. One was hacking cedar for 35 cents a day, and the other one worked dusk till dawn on the family farm. They weren't using tractors and were still handpicking at this point. They both joined the military at 18 and did their time, and managed to keep good social lives and were able to date and all throughout. They never got or needed help, and I don't see why I should either. I can't even do one of those things I'm so much of a damned wuss. I've never seen or heard of either of those men ever having any emotional problems besides my maternal grandfather's anger, which was caused by his own abusive father.
I don't necessarily know that my friends would consider me a pussy for showing weakness, but there is that chance seeing as my closest friends are the macho country type, and I can't afford to lose any friends since I have so much trouble making them in the first place, because I fear rejection like hell itself.
You also had a reason for the way you felt, while I don't. I have thoughts about what it might be, but if it is that, then I'm nothing but a fool. The other things I put beside it are nothing of consequence either that I should dwell on, but I do. I'm nothing but a self-pitying idiot who won't let anyone see, because I know the stigma around it.
Forlorn, would we be having this conversation if you were born without legs? Would you say you could walk where your father walked even though you lack the ability to walk? Depression isn't something you can just get over, it's a real disease, caused by physical things in your body. If you don't have depression, don't have anything physically wrong with you, then you've tried, you've verified it, and maybe you should then actually do what your father and grandfather did. Try joining the military. Maybe you just need someone to smack you around a bit, straighten you out. But you'd be a fool to not at least make sure it's not a real disability before trying that.
