You could easily make futomaki or California rolls.
A decent Krab salad or Krap dip are simple to prepare.
Of course Krab cakes come to mind.
If you want to make a larger meal out of it, make a krab cream sauce, toss it with linguine, top with a bit of dried red pepper flakes.
And if you really want to make something special, I have two words for ya: krab ravioli with a bechemel sauce. You could also make crab tortellini, which would require a bit more skill.
If you aren't comfortable with making your own pasta I have another suggestion: By some won ton wrappers, and stuff those puppies with krab, carrot, and celery. And then you have krab potstickers. Let them cook in a pan, add chicken broth, let them cook for a few minutes, serve with soy sauce.
Chill, samson. There are lots of healthy peoples out there, including the Japanese, who eat processed food (hell, they invented imitation crab and instant ramen) and are still healthy because of how they integrate said foods into their lives and the lifestyle they live. I'm an adult, and I'm aware of the arguments you've made, and I can look after myself.
