I wish I had stories...hmm.
One time my friend took a shit in the corner of a public elevator. The end.
Someone school me on graphics cards!
-
Droid party
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 1350
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:23 pm
- Location: Stuck in my childhood.
Re: Someone school me on graphics cards!
Maybe you shouldn't share any more of your stories.Mozgus wrote:I wish I had stories...hmm.
One time my friend took a shit in the corner of a public elevator. The end.
JT wrote:Yeah, like vampire aliens invade and hit us all with a ray beam that paralyzes all of our arms. The only way to deactivate the ray beam and fight back the vampire alien threat is with a complicated series of foot patterns on the device's control board that looks remarkably like a DDR pad. We will all praise this man for saving our lives and buy him a mountain of stuffed animals.
-
lordofduct
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 2907
- Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:57 pm
- Location: West Palm Beach
Re: Someone school me on graphics cards!
I lol'dDroid party wrote:Maybe you shouldn't share any more of your stories.Mozgus wrote:I wish I had stories...hmm.
One time my friend took a shit in the corner of a public elevator. The end.
Re: Someone school me on graphics cards!
A guy I used to play WoW with had lots of fun stories. Here's my favorite.
So one time my friend is getting drunk with his buddies at his house. They're all having a good time, being loud, when all of a sudden one of them notices that somehow a bat had managed to make it's way into the house. Of course, this bat is confused and frightened, and is flapping all over the place, making a mess of everything. So my friend grabs a frying pan and starts swatting at the bat with it. The bat is able to dodge; my friend isn't. He manages to deck himself in the head and knock himself out.
Well, his buddies aren't about to let some bat get the better of them. Having been properly cautioned as to the dangers of swinging heavy metal objects while drunk, they come up with a new, brilliant idea. They grab my friend's shotgun and start firing at the bat. However, by this point the bat finally figured out where the open door was, and proceeded to vacate the premeses. But this wasn't just about getting the bat gone. This was revenge. So as the bat is flying out the door, they take careful aim and fire.
And hit and kill the neighbor's cow.
So one time my friend is getting drunk with his buddies at his house. They're all having a good time, being loud, when all of a sudden one of them notices that somehow a bat had managed to make it's way into the house. Of course, this bat is confused and frightened, and is flapping all over the place, making a mess of everything. So my friend grabs a frying pan and starts swatting at the bat with it. The bat is able to dodge; my friend isn't. He manages to deck himself in the head and knock himself out.
Well, his buddies aren't about to let some bat get the better of them. Having been properly cautioned as to the dangers of swinging heavy metal objects while drunk, they come up with a new, brilliant idea. They grab my friend's shotgun and start firing at the bat. However, by this point the bat finally figured out where the open door was, and proceeded to vacate the premeses. But this wasn't just about getting the bat gone. This was revenge. So as the bat is flying out the door, they take careful aim and fire.
And hit and kill the neighbor's cow.
Blizzard Entertainment Software Developer - All comments and views are my own and not representative of the company.
-
lordofduct
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 2907
- Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:57 pm
- Location: West Palm Beach
Re: Someone school me on graphics cards!
@MrPoPo - Oh Washington, you guys always have all the fun.
I was in Yakima, which is the desert in central to eastern Washington State for those who don't know, in this kids backyard. He had a huge piece of property with a trailer down back that we all hung out in and well... we did drugs. Drugs I'm not very proud of ever doing and most people don't know I had ever done them. You know, those evil west coast drugs us east coasters only hear nightmarish stories about.
Well this kid was the local dealer of this specific drug... so he isn't that bright. Nor were his parents EVER around. I couldn't figure out if they even had any parents. All the kids I knew while I was in Yakima lived in disheveled dives for homes and what parents were to be found we just as drug addled and retarded as we were that it was just like having another one of the buddies around. I'm pretty sure they are all dead by now... horrible place this city was I must say!
To give you a clue in on this kids house only one of the entrances to his home actually had a door. The rest were makeshift doors or sheets or the like. Seeing as this is the desert and I saw rain once the entire time I was in the place, it really didn't matter either way. The living room consisted of a seat removed from a car, one of those oversized checkerboards on a tire rim for a table and some bits of shit around. No TV.
No instead of TV we had a boombox that played cassettes, and only cassettes. One of the guys snuck a tape recorder... YES, a tape recorder, not video tape, into the local movie theatre and recorded the AUDIO of "Fear & Loathing" (this story is also one of the reasons I despise this movie). So this tape is set on auto flip and played over and over for a couple days in a row while we partied (if anyone is unsure of WHAT we were doing, well what keeps you up for 4 days with out food? DON'T DO IT!).
The kid and his brother who lived there decided during the onslaught of this multi-day endevour after raising themselves up from the a circle of chairs in the kitchen huffing stuff they found in the shed and decided they wanted liquor. They were sick and tired of this over the shelf, under the shelf, fuck the damn shelf, faux-narcotic cocktail and wanted legitimate, legal, pass the fuck out booze!
Tyson and I in a daze by the back doo... opening, swatting at moths with brooms that we thought were the size of our heads stumble back and proclaim out loud that we know how to build a still. Tyson was lying, I was lying a little. I've seen a still get built, I've worked around a still, but I've never actually done it myself. Anyways I pull out some dinner mat and a magic marker and draw up the plans for a still and a list of ingredients and instructions.
Now the ingredients I knew...
They did not...
I explained that making the liquor will take a couple days especially letting the mash raise and sweeten. Gotta let that yeast do its job if you expect to extra any alcohol from their bi-product. Instead though they decided that it would be faster if they used something that already had fermented, despite my explaining that isn't quite how it works, and they took some sun tea they had left out for far to long and a full bottle of... yes... rubbing alcohol! Oh my dear God. And not the under the sink size bottle, I'm talking the big ol' bottle you buy at Home Depot and will probably last you the rest of your life if it didn't evaporate before then.
So away they go to the trailer to build their contraption and time passes. We later find ourselves, probably 18 hours later or so, hanging out in the camper with a boiling pot of... errmmm... sun tea and chemicals. The contraption is held together with a popped bike tire tube, an old cooling hose from a broken refrigerator probably with large traces of freon in it somewhere, and an assortment of other things.
Dan, one of the kids who lived there, is making fun with the bottle of rubbing alcohol by taking mouth fulls and blowing it into flame making giant fire balls to all our delight. When all of a sudden his entire mouth bursts into flames and is pouring down his face onto his body. Everyone is balling now, on the floor laughing. The kid is just screaming and bouncing off the walls.
He runs for the tap, one of those hand pump taps you always find in a camper, and he's banging away trying to get something out of it. I don't know, he must of forgot we are IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT!!
Oh and Fear & Loathing is still playing, audio only, in the background.
A couple of us are screaming between fits of laughter to just close his mouth and it should extinguish itself and to go and roll in the sand. But it's such a mouthful for 5 or 6 drug addicts to say at the same time that it kind of just comes out sounding like Hunter S. Thompson's diatribes over the boombox in Johnny Depp's voice. The kid on the other hand comes up with the most BRILLIANT of all BRILLIANT ideas. Einstein would be applauding this man for his ingenious endeavor he plans to partake in.
Metal is now flying every which way, the rubber bike tire/faux O-ring has smacked one of us in the face, the cooling hose of the refrigerator is bent and lost underneath the fake couch and this man has a big pot of boiling fermented sun-tea, more rubbing alcohol, and other chemicals in his hands and just about ready to pour the entire thing on himself to extinguish the flames he is in.
Now remember this all has taken place in a matter of a few seconds, he isn't thinking straight. Rubbing alcohol evaporates and extinguishes itself rather quickly, but dude man isn't figuring this one out. If he were to just wait the flames would die down and he could easily pat out what little fire is still on his body because some article of clothing began to smolder.
But no, here is another Dan (a more intelligent kid then the Dan with the pot in hand) and I lunging at him to force the boiling concoction out of his hands. But the pot is sloshing all over in his anxiety and is spilling on himself making the flames even worst. Downside is this mixture is far more flammable then plain old rubbing alcohol and isn't going to be put out quite as easily.
More people are in on getting this done, but the camper is small, not a lot of space. But we manage to get the pot from him as we body slam him out the back door of the camper and into the sand and dirt. And here is 6 guys rolling and beating a guy bloody and senseless in the dirt in the middle of the desert. Just to put out the flames of some moron.
The moral of this story boys and girls.
Don't fucking do drugs... I mean really, take it from me, DON'T DO DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was in Yakima, which is the desert in central to eastern Washington State for those who don't know, in this kids backyard. He had a huge piece of property with a trailer down back that we all hung out in and well... we did drugs. Drugs I'm not very proud of ever doing and most people don't know I had ever done them. You know, those evil west coast drugs us east coasters only hear nightmarish stories about.
Well this kid was the local dealer of this specific drug... so he isn't that bright. Nor were his parents EVER around. I couldn't figure out if they even had any parents. All the kids I knew while I was in Yakima lived in disheveled dives for homes and what parents were to be found we just as drug addled and retarded as we were that it was just like having another one of the buddies around. I'm pretty sure they are all dead by now... horrible place this city was I must say!
To give you a clue in on this kids house only one of the entrances to his home actually had a door. The rest were makeshift doors or sheets or the like. Seeing as this is the desert and I saw rain once the entire time I was in the place, it really didn't matter either way. The living room consisted of a seat removed from a car, one of those oversized checkerboards on a tire rim for a table and some bits of shit around. No TV.
No instead of TV we had a boombox that played cassettes, and only cassettes. One of the guys snuck a tape recorder... YES, a tape recorder, not video tape, into the local movie theatre and recorded the AUDIO of "Fear & Loathing" (this story is also one of the reasons I despise this movie). So this tape is set on auto flip and played over and over for a couple days in a row while we partied (if anyone is unsure of WHAT we were doing, well what keeps you up for 4 days with out food? DON'T DO IT!).
The kid and his brother who lived there decided during the onslaught of this multi-day endevour after raising themselves up from the a circle of chairs in the kitchen huffing stuff they found in the shed and decided they wanted liquor. They were sick and tired of this over the shelf, under the shelf, fuck the damn shelf, faux-narcotic cocktail and wanted legitimate, legal, pass the fuck out booze!
Tyson and I in a daze by the back doo... opening, swatting at moths with brooms that we thought were the size of our heads stumble back and proclaim out loud that we know how to build a still. Tyson was lying, I was lying a little. I've seen a still get built, I've worked around a still, but I've never actually done it myself. Anyways I pull out some dinner mat and a magic marker and draw up the plans for a still and a list of ingredients and instructions.
Now the ingredients I knew...
They did not...
I explained that making the liquor will take a couple days especially letting the mash raise and sweeten. Gotta let that yeast do its job if you expect to extra any alcohol from their bi-product. Instead though they decided that it would be faster if they used something that already had fermented, despite my explaining that isn't quite how it works, and they took some sun tea they had left out for far to long and a full bottle of... yes... rubbing alcohol! Oh my dear God. And not the under the sink size bottle, I'm talking the big ol' bottle you buy at Home Depot and will probably last you the rest of your life if it didn't evaporate before then.
So away they go to the trailer to build their contraption and time passes. We later find ourselves, probably 18 hours later or so, hanging out in the camper with a boiling pot of... errmmm... sun tea and chemicals. The contraption is held together with a popped bike tire tube, an old cooling hose from a broken refrigerator probably with large traces of freon in it somewhere, and an assortment of other things.
Dan, one of the kids who lived there, is making fun with the bottle of rubbing alcohol by taking mouth fulls and blowing it into flame making giant fire balls to all our delight. When all of a sudden his entire mouth bursts into flames and is pouring down his face onto his body. Everyone is balling now, on the floor laughing. The kid is just screaming and bouncing off the walls.
He runs for the tap, one of those hand pump taps you always find in a camper, and he's banging away trying to get something out of it. I don't know, he must of forgot we are IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT!!
Oh and Fear & Loathing is still playing, audio only, in the background.
A couple of us are screaming between fits of laughter to just close his mouth and it should extinguish itself and to go and roll in the sand. But it's such a mouthful for 5 or 6 drug addicts to say at the same time that it kind of just comes out sounding like Hunter S. Thompson's diatribes over the boombox in Johnny Depp's voice. The kid on the other hand comes up with the most BRILLIANT of all BRILLIANT ideas. Einstein would be applauding this man for his ingenious endeavor he plans to partake in.
Metal is now flying every which way, the rubber bike tire/faux O-ring has smacked one of us in the face, the cooling hose of the refrigerator is bent and lost underneath the fake couch and this man has a big pot of boiling fermented sun-tea, more rubbing alcohol, and other chemicals in his hands and just about ready to pour the entire thing on himself to extinguish the flames he is in.
Now remember this all has taken place in a matter of a few seconds, he isn't thinking straight. Rubbing alcohol evaporates and extinguishes itself rather quickly, but dude man isn't figuring this one out. If he were to just wait the flames would die down and he could easily pat out what little fire is still on his body because some article of clothing began to smolder.
But no, here is another Dan (a more intelligent kid then the Dan with the pot in hand) and I lunging at him to force the boiling concoction out of his hands. But the pot is sloshing all over in his anxiety and is spilling on himself making the flames even worst. Downside is this mixture is far more flammable then plain old rubbing alcohol and isn't going to be put out quite as easily.
More people are in on getting this done, but the camper is small, not a lot of space. But we manage to get the pot from him as we body slam him out the back door of the camper and into the sand and dirt. And here is 6 guys rolling and beating a guy bloody and senseless in the dirt in the middle of the desert. Just to put out the flames of some moron.
The moral of this story boys and girls.
Don't fucking do drugs... I mean really, take it from me, DON'T DO DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Someone school me on graphics cards!
I need drugs just to read your essay posts.lordofduct wrote:Don't fucking do drugs... I mean really, take it from me, DON'T DO DRUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
Droid party
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 1350
- Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 10:23 pm
- Location: Stuck in my childhood.
Re: Someone school me on graphics cards!
Aww, uncle Dylan has the best stories.
JT wrote:Yeah, like vampire aliens invade and hit us all with a ray beam that paralyzes all of our arms. The only way to deactivate the ray beam and fight back the vampire alien threat is with a complicated series of foot patterns on the device's control board that looks remarkably like a DDR pad. We will all praise this man for saving our lives and buy him a mountain of stuffed animals.
Re: Someone school me on graphics cards!
i never got past duplos.
I did go to lego-land once though...
I did go to lego-land once though...