The official "Fan Theories" thread

[Gooseberrysoda]

mulder and scully are in love, JUST A THEORY

[Ack]

mulder and scully are in love, JUST A THEORY

I hope so. Otherwise their marriage in the second X-Files film would be really upsetting. I mean, it could really only get worse if they have a child die or something...

[REPO Man]

CENOBITE!!!

[REPO Man]

They live together, but they're not gay.

They hang out together, but they're not "friends".

THEORY? Beavis and Butthead are BROTHERS!

When we meet their fathers in Beavis and Butthead Do America, Butthead's father recounts sleeping with two women (who he calls "sluts") in Highland. The man thought to be Beavis' father never slept with them, according to Butthead's father. So Butthead Sr fathered both Beavis and Butthead, but Beavis Sr is possibly related to one of their mothers.

And come to think of it, could one of the "sluts" be... DARIA'S MOTHER? Only if Butthead is actually much older than Daria, and come to think of it... where does Daria's sister Quinn get her red hair? Both her parents are BRUNETTE?

And if Beavis and Butthead are that old, could Beavis be the separated-at-birth twin brother of Luanne Platter from King of the Hill?

[REPO Man]

In porn:

The locales are fake.

The people look fake.

The world is full of adults with no children.

Population density is at an all-time low.

The world of pornographic films are typically set in a post-apocalyptic world.

Children and the elderly were the first to die.

Everyone else is mutated, their libidos supercharged.

The nuclear apocalypse sterilized the whole world.

And people derive sexual pleasure from watching a broken world trying in vain to repopulate a doomed world.

[samsonlonghair]

CENOBITE!!!

OK. This one made me laugh.

[REPO Man]

CENOBITE!!!

OK. This one made me laugh.

How so?

He's skinless, like Frank from HR1 and Julia from HR2.

He has blue blood, like the Cenobites have been shown to have.

He looks like his body's racked in pain and he wears metal accoutrements like they were nothing, despite the fact they look like they hurt like hell.

Lord Zedd is an escaped Cenobite who amassed great, evil powers and a vast army for one real reason... to fend off Pinhead and his Cenobites.

[Sload Soap]

Kaim, Seth, Sarah, Ming and Gongora are the five immortal characters from Lost Odyssey.

At the end of the game you find out they have gained a form of immortality owing to their being from a different universe.

That universe is the same universe Final Fantasy 7 is set.

My evidence is that the music that plays during the final confrontation has riffs similar to music from throughout FF7. And DEFINITELY not because Uematsu wrote both games music. Nope.

[REPO Man]

THEORY: Brad and Janet were on drugs, the events were all in their heads.

Right after the "Dammit Janet" scene, everything is just a retelling by The Criminologist (who may or may not also be Judge Oliver Wright from Shock Treatment) of what is referred to as "The Denton Affair".

What we are told is that they found their planned visit to see Dr. Scott to announce their engagement, but take a wrong turn and end up in a castle filled with Transsexual Transylvanians led by an oversexed crossdresser who creates a man-made creature named Rocky and we all know what follows. In the end, they're left in the crater of the castle dressed in corsets and fishnets.

But really... the Trannies (Frank, Riff Raff, Magenta) and Columbia are really just a bunch of transient weirdos living in the woods. Brad and Janet ask if they can help them, but next Brad and Janet are giving mass quantities of mind-altering drugs, like LSD and PCP and all the letters in a can of alphabet soup.

Frank's really a "sweet transvestite", Riff Raff really bones his sister and then there's Columbia. She was a local runaway who ran off from a broken home with her boyfriend Eddie. One night Eddie overdosed and died, and a strung-out Columbia mistook the scene as him being murdered by Frank, who was trying to wake him up. To cope she took even more and more acid to cope with the pain of losing Eddie.

Rocky was not a real person, but rather just a persona Frank adopted. You see, Frank was an ambisexual transvestite, and was also a schizophrenic. And his other personality? Rocky Horror, an adaptation of Frank's butch side and sexual ambivalence. As Rocky, Frank would simply swap out the European lingerie he always wore and took off his wig. With his cohorts' minds ravaged by drug abuse they never realized this, and Brad and Janet were also just tripping and imagining things differently.

Dr. Scott really did show up, looking for Eddie but soon became part of the twisted affair.

But then things went sour when Riff and Magenta had a breakdown and brutally killed Columbia and Frank and then set fire to their illegal campsite, where Brad and Janet were found with a strung-out Dr. Scott. Someone stole the doctor's notes and sent them to an old friend living overseas. His name was Richard O'Brien.

[REPO Man]

Goofus and Gallant

THEORY: Goofus is an alternate personality of Gallant's. This is why they're never seen together, since a random trigger causes on personality to take over. They're each aware of the other, but have never met one another and have only heard of the other from other people.

So it's basically the plot of Black Swan, minus the ballet stuff and so on.

And speaking of Black Swan.




THEORY: Black Swan is really a sequel to Suspiria.

Suzy Bannion kills Helena Markos and escapes back to America. She eventually changes her name and has a daughter.

But at some point, Markos' spirit seeks vengeance against Suzy by destroying her daughter Nina. How? Simple... Lily is reincarnation of Helena Markos!