Random Thoughts Thread

[dsheinem]

After wasting years of my life preparing myself for this field, and not feeling prepared at all is getting to me. I feel like I just want to give up and do manual labor...

Why not go to college? On average, you'll make far more money afterward (enough to eat up any loan debt) and you'll be more marketable. You might even discover new passions and interests while you are there. College would do wonders for your long term prospects...

[jinx]

Why not go to college? On average, you'll make far more money afterward (enough to eat up any loan debt) and you'll be more marketable. You might even discover new passions and interests while you are there. College would do wonders for your long term prospects...

General studies. I can't stand them, and I didn't get a chance to go to high school. I went to college for a bit, but didn't understand anything in the general subjects, because I never learned them. I found myself taking more time trying to catch up on Math and English, than what I really wanted to be learning. I know I want to do something in the technology field, because that's all I've ever known. Whether it be Network Administration, Linux Administration, or something entirely different.

I could do something like ITT, which focuses on a career path and doesn't take as long, but it's way more expensive and I still have to worry about working a 9+ hour job as an "Administrator" now.
Personally, I feel like the certifications teach you more if you actually learn from them. The only reason I'm sticking with this job now, is to build up that "Need x+ years of experience as Linux Admin".

Money isn't a big issue with me. Apparently this is the lowest paying Linux Administration job in the United States, and I had no clue. I just want to be happy doing something I enjoy. I thought starting my own business was my ultimate goal, but I just don't know anymore.
This WAS the right decision for myself and my family. It pays almost three times as much as I was getting paid before, and technically I am an "Administrator". I just don't have a clue what I'm doing half the time, and am stressing out because of it...
(There was training, but the training didn't cover anything we actually do here.)

Screw it, I've rewritten this post like five times. Honestly, I don't know what I was looking from that post. I'm just freaking out at work, and don't really have anybody to talk to about it.

[Xeogred]

How long have you been doing this? Sounds like a tough situation to be in, I'm feeling similar with not knowing where to go from here myself.

Sounds like you gotta beat yourself up a bit to say the least though. In your post above you make it sound like when others expect things of you, you definitely get it done and your quality work shows. So you just have to learn how to teach yourself to impress the person that matters the most, yourself!

Easier said than done though, right?

ds' outlook on college is how I've been seeing it lately though. Haven't been back since 2010 myself and I really loath general studies as well, but I also still have no idea what I want to do for a living. So whenever I make it back, I'm excited to just experiment with some classes that interest me and see how things go from there. Might finally discover something when I'm not totally looking for it. Again preaching to myself here, easier said than done ... lol, I need that kick to the boot pretty often as well.

Some guy at my current job said something I liked a lot last year, I can never really put it as best as he said though. But it was basically, try not to worry about what degree you want to get, because you then get too caught up in wondering where to go and end up not walking any path. Worry about what to do with a degree after you have one, because as I always hear, any degree can never hurt and often open up doors to potentially unrelated fields that may interest you more. It was something like that and an interesting way to look at it I thought, to try and not be so tied down by something so specific from the get go, you can end up just limiting yourself too much.

Dunno if that helps or not, randomly throwing it out there.

[jinx]

Thanks for the input. I really think I just need to finally figure out my motivational problems. I get what you're saying, and it's basically what we all hate to hear. When we ask for advice, and people say "Well... just do it!". It's stupid advice, but honestly the only advice there is to give.

You described me exactly, and I wasn't even trying. I have extremely bad self-esteem problems, and always have. When I was younger it was a lot worse. I would constantly call myself stupid for saying things, and beat myself up over it. In-fact, I really want to erase this entire conversation because I feel dumb for starting it.

I think it's mainly issues with my self-esteem and lack of motivation. I'm perfectly content with just getting my certifications, as I already know what I want to do (sort of). As I said, I've had an interest in Computers and Networking since 5th grade, and started professionally using my skills in 2006. Since then I've been tossed around doing retail, but always learning things on the side.

I moved here late last year, and have only given this job 6 months. The fact that everybody else knows so much more than I do, and that I struggle to do some of the easiest tasks really gets me down. What I need to do is study more at home, and possible start some projects of my own. Again, this is an issue with motivation, having a kid, and just not feeling like there's enough time to enjoy myself. It's odd how I found this stuff fun before I was put in this situation...

I was really looking 'Jr Admin" job, where I could learn as I went. This job was described as such, but in reality, they gave us two weeks of worthless training and then dropped us in the pit. It's hard for me to even tell who my boss really is. You come in, sit at any random cubicle, work all night, and then go home. Very little guidance at all...
(This is why I don't like Online Schools. A lot of colleges are moving to strictly online classes as well)

[BoneSnapDeez]

I'm a non-matriculated student at a local university. I'm in the Information Systems program. I'm looking at getting an AS or post-baccalaureate certification (I have a BA from another school).

The gen ed requirements aren't bad, and you can gear them to actually apply to your studies. For instance, I've taken business classes where I learned a great deal about business software. It's not like you have to take a bunch of English or Art History stuff. Look into the local universities, all of their degree requirements will be available online.

[Luke]

@ jinx: When was the last time you were in a serious relationship, or are you currently in one?

When was the last time you had a heart to heart with a physical friend?

You can answer these question via pm if that would make you feel more comfortable. I don't want to spout out advice without knowing a bit about your mo. And it should come as no surprise that when I give life advice, I do tend to get a little Gordon Ramsey-ish. I will not insult you, but I am a straight shooter.

[jinx]

It's not like you have to take a bunch of English or Art History stuff. Look into the local universities, all of their degree requirements will be available online.

But I did. The schools that I could afford to go to required English, Math, and one other non-sense general to do Network Administration. I had to take them before I could even do any of my IT classes. The first couple weeks I was confused, because the professors were teaching as if I already knew what they were talking about. Not going to High School really sucks, but I didn't have much of a choice.

I actually really enjoyed going to Job Corps. Every day we focused on learning computer crap. Stared small, learning the parts (which I already knew). Then moved onto network basics (which I already knew). Then we got to learn Administration, and I was hooked. I was really REALLY stupid to quit. I was pissed because I had more certifications, with higher scores, than my own instructor. They wouldn't let me continue until he caught up. Between that and a bunch of stuff at Home, I just stopped going. So dumb...

I wish they had something like that for older adults, that didn't cost a fortune. Going in and getting hands on experience is what I really want. I'm kind of getting that now, but when I get lost, I have nobody to ask.

Again, this was stupid of me to bring up....

@ jinx: When was the last time you were in a serious relationship, or are you currently in one?

When was the last time you had a heart to heart with a physical friend?

You can answer these question via pm if that would make you feel more comfortable. I don't want to spout out advice without knowing a bit about your mo. And it should come as no surprise that when I give life advice, I do tend to get a little Gordon Ramsey-ish. I will not insult you, but I am a straight shooter.

I'm a pretty open person...
Gah, this feels like it's becoming an intervention.

I'm in a relationship now, but talking about this stuff with her always ends up just ticking me off or making me feel worse. I don't really like bringing work home, but this has become more of a "entire life" situation and not just work.
I guess I just finally snapped tonight, and instead of walking out, I decided to post here.

Physical Friend? I'd say 2008 was the last time I had a REAL friend outside of work. I never really made many friends in school. Actually, I'd say I only had three friends growing up. I did most of my socializing via Dial-up...
After being dropped on my ass into "the real world", I never really made any friends. I was forced into a situation to move in with a co-worker a several years ago, and that's the last time I felt like I had a friend...

Ugh... sounds pathetic. o.o

[Luke]

I'm in a relationship now, but talking about this stuff with her always ends up just ticking me off or making me feel worse.

Physical Friend? I'd say 2008 was the last time I had a REAL friend outside of work....

Would it be fair to say that you feel that opening up to your current partner about your concerns makes you emotionally vulnerable and open to criticism that only leads to frustration? If not, I've pegged you wrong.

They say if you can't live by yourself and be happy with yourself, you will never be truly happy. Balls on that, as everyone needs a shoulder to lean on once in a while. And "work friends" usually suck. Not that they aren't nice people, it's just that your dirty laundry doesn't need to be spread across the office. Try and meet some like-minded people.

[jinx]

Would it be fair to say that you feel that opening up to your current partner about your concerns makes you emotionally vulnerable and open to criticism that only leads to frustration? If not, I've pegged you wrong.

They say if you can't live by yourself and be happy with yourself, you will never be truly happy. Balls on that, as everyone needs a shoulder to lean on once in a while. And "work friends" usually suck. Not that they aren't nice people, it's just that your dirty laundry doesn't need to be spread across the office. Try and meet some like-minded people.

Yeah, no. I know I'm pretty much a pansy...
The problem is, is that I attack myself in these conversations. When people try to cheer me up, I take it in the complete opposite way. This is why I hate getting compliments, because I feel like people are just saying it to pick on me. I guess it comes from being bullied in school? I used to be able to open up to her a bit more, but over the years I have just stopped. Last time I opened up to her, was when I got drunk with her and her friends. Was pretty eye-opening, but I hate that I have to get drunk to talk to people... I don't even like drinking.

(Cutting this post short. Off of work)

EDIT:
Basically what I was going to add to this was - Aside from already being horrible at making friends, moving to an entirely new location doesn't help.

[AppleQueso]

Again, this was stupid of me to bring up....

It helps to vent a little sometimes, I wouldn't worry about it. You're definitely not alone in feeling uncertain about your own future, and plenty of people here are willing to offer what advice they can.