What was the last movie you've seen?

[BurningDoom]

Sad thing is, I'm willing to bet that envelope is worth money to someone.

It is. You had to do something to earn one those. So they weren't easy to come by.

[fastbilly1]

Sad thing is, I'm willing to bet that envelope is worth money to someone.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/1967-Marvel-Com ... 485443679b

Boom $200 large

[Ack]

Hahaha, figures.

[fastbilly1]

Its all about that Money, money, moneyyyy!

[prfsnl_gmr]

Its all about that Money, money, moneyyyy!

Your'e damn right...



EDIT: In light of this amazing image, I am now considering an avatar change...should I go for it?

[BurningDoom]

Its all about that Money, money, moneyyyy!

Your'e damn right...



EDIT: In light of this amazing image, I am now considering an avatar change...should I go for it?

I say yes! One of the highlights during an era of WWF that was otherwise pretty terrible (the early 90s).

[prfsnl_gmr]

Done.

[Michi]

It’s been a bit since I’ve done this, and this is going to be a little different, as this write-up encompasses 3 different movies. I’m doing this because, while I’ve continued to watch the Underground for the last couple weeks, TCM has been throwing out quite a few duds in quick succession. Some fared better than others, but most felt more to me like they belonged on an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 than TCM.

As such, I don’t have all that much to say about them. So here are a couple short little write-ups, as opposed to a longer one. So, without further adieu, here are some Movies that made Michi go “meh.”


Let’s start with the one that pained me the least.


Macabre


The good Dr. Barrett’s young daughter has been kidnapped by some psycho who informs his secretary that he’s buried her alive. The doctor has only a couple hours in which to find and rescue her before she runs out of air. It’s a race against time for the doctor and his secretary to find the girl, all the while muddling through an assortment of family and friends, all of whom could be potential suspects.

Made in 1958, this is one of William Castle’s first forays into the horror genre. Though it’s more accurately described as a suspense or thriller, rather than a horror movie, as the only thing that could possibly be described as horrific about it is perhaps a couple instances of acting. I can’t imagine a 10-year-old sitting in a darkened theatre with a box of popcorn in 1958 being any more terrified than my 26-year-old self sitting at home in my darkened living room with a couple of Oreos.

Despite the promotional gimmick (the previously mentioned Lloyd's of London insurance policy) movie prominently features a ‘race against time’ plotline, complete with continued shots of clock and all.


So unless you’re paid by the hour and the clock freezes this
isn’t really horrifying.

Coming from one of the masters of B-movies, it’s about all that you would expect. It’s relatively short, the plot is fairly thin, and the characters are serviceable, but lack any standout performance.

That said it’s not a bad little thriller. Considering it’s short run time (72 minutes), most of the characters are at least decently fleshed out and it’s imagery is appropriately moody.



It also adds the requisite twist ending, though anyone who’s a veteran of suspense or thrillers in general will see it coming a mile away. It’s a movie perfect for a late night viewing where you don’t want anything more heavy so you won’t be forced to think too hard. It’s thriller-lite, if you will, which is perfect if you think about it, as Castles target demographic was about the 10-14 year-old range.

It also surprised me by having a closing animation sequence. It wasn’t spectacular by any means, but I thought it was cute that it looked like everyone in the small cast and production staff got their own little animated caricature.



All in all, not a bad little film. Perfect for those of you who have young-uns that you want to ease into the genre, as the plot is easy enough to follow and there’s no gore or anything explicit to warp their little minds. Veterans won’t find anything noteworthy here, though, unless you’re looking for something light, or a little blast from the past.


One down, two to go……


Wild Guitar

This movie is actually less exciting than that horrible poster makes it out to be.

Motorcycle riding, poor Elvis impersonator and idol wannabe Bud Eagle arrives in California looking for his big break in the music industry. Of course he gets it (and his dream girl), but along the way has to deal with a highly corrupt manager, his thug, and a bumbling band of incompetent kidnappers.

The entire premise of this movie screams ‘drive-in fodder.’ There are so many clichés in here that it’s almost painful. Bud is the good looking (that’s debatable), but naïve hero. He falls in love with essentially the first girl he meets. There are montages of records and money. The bad guys are not only evil, but look evil and would come across to anyone else but the hero as crooked if they spent more than 10 seconds with them.


His name is Steak, for god’s sake. Don’t trust anyone who calls themselves Steak.

The lead, Arch Hall Jr., starred in a handful of films in the 60’s, all different genres, but is probably best know as being that funny looking singer in the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode Eegah!, the guy who the boys hope will accidentally shoot himself while he’s out wandering the dessert. His character really doesn’t fare too much better in Wild Guitar, although in this movie the audience has the benefit (or horrible affliction) of watching him sing several more times.

At a little over 90 minutes the movie is also way too long for what they were going for, yet at the same time not long enough to fully resolve anything. Several plot points either get resolved too quickly, don’t reach a finite resolution, or don’t reach a solution that makes any plausible sense. At some point someone should have had them cut the fat, but it didn’t happen and as a result there are several instances where the movie plods along at an eye-twitching pace.

Perhaps I’m being too hard on it. Perhaps I just can’t dig the light-hearted vibe the movie was going for. Perhaps I’ve just grown out of the demographic. Or perhaps I just couldn’t stand the “Duuuh” look that seemed to be on Bud’s face for most of the film. But Wild Guitar was just not something that I enjoyed. I’m usually happy to sit through a little light-hearted musical, and while the music itself was decent enough (despite my belief that the singer has a face for radio) the plot just made me cringe one too many times.

If you enjoy 60’s drive-in, semi-musical movies, then by all means give this a go. Or if you like….no, wait. That’s the only demographic I can think of that would enjoy this film. So have at it, whoever you are.


And three….


Border Radio


L.A. musician Jeff is hounded by some thugs and flees to Mexico, leaving his family behind and his wife alone to try to figure out just what the hell made him run off.

Border Radio can’t seem to figure out what it wants to be. It’s sprinkled with little bits of noir, western, crime, mystery and documentary, but doesn’t do any of them particularly well. The documentary aspects in particular are interesting at first, but the film does little with them and in the end it comes off as a strange addition. Especially when one of the subtitles reads “2 or 6 Months Later.” Could…could you guys not pick one?

And thanks to it’s aimless and meandering plot the movie also feels a lot longer than it actually is. It’s not a good sign when you think you’re half way though a film and then glance at the clock and notice that only 20 minutes have passed.

Part of the problem is that for most of the film the audience has no idea what’s going on. They’re given enough information to know Jeff is off in Mexico somewhere and that his wife is looking for him. But it isn’t until three-fourths of the way through the film that you find out why Jeff left and by then the film has been so slow in getting there that you really no longer care. At one point his wife states, “I just want someone to tell me what’s going on.” So did I, honey. So did I.

You’d think at least that Jeff’s life in Mexico would add some spice to the narrative, but alas. He spends most of his time drinking, talking to painted coconuts or burning his guitar.


Jimi Hendrix you aint.

I get the feeling that he’s supposed to be going through a period of self-discovery, but most of the time it just comes off as him mucking around. Which is really a good description of what most of the other characters, save for Jeff’s wife, are doing in his absence.

Border Radio was filmed on a shoe-string budget over a period of about 4 years and had no fewer than 3 directors, which is most likely the cause of it’s often disjointed narrative. Most cast members consist of family, friends and musicians and it shows. For instance, Jeff’s daughter is played by one of the directors our daughters and ranges in age from 5-9 over the course of the film.

I’ve read that the movie is supposed to be a representation of the 80’s Southern California Punk scene. Not being a fan of punk, I’ll have to take their word for it. All I know is that I was just happy to see it end and then shocked beyond belief that it got a Criterion release.

So if you like punk rock in any way perhaps you can enjoy this and explain to me what I missed. But it’s wandering narrative and slow pace just didn’t do it for me. I’ll give those that worked on the film props for finishing their project and adding the following line to the credits “Many curses on those who tried to thwart us”, but it’s just not my kind of film.

[prfsnl_gmr]

Arch Hall, Jr. FTW! EEGAH is one of my favorite MST3K episodes ("Look out for snakes!"), and his awkward screen "presence" absolutely makes the film. (I have read, however, that The Sadist (1963) - which also stars Arch Hall, Jr. - is actually a decent horror film.)

[Michi]

"Look out for snakes!"

"Who said that?"
*looks around*

(I have read, however, that The Sadist (1963) - which also stars Arch Hall, Jr. - is actually a decent horror film.)

I'm pretty sure I've got that on my DVR. If I recall correctly, it was on right after Wild Guitar, but I didn't feel like subjecting myself to two Arch Hall, Jr. movies in one night