I've been thinking about this for a while, andwondering, are there actually any consoles that truly sucked?
for example, the Jaguar. I forget the website but there is a large online community devoted to it. I heard it was bad but some of the games look like something i'd want to play. The 32x may hvae BEEN a bad console because ppl got ripped off, but nowadays you can grab one cheap (there are two in my local pawnshop, new in box, for $40 CAN each) and you can get it just to complete your genesis/CD/PowerBase Converter and play virtua racing or doom or that weird hummingbird game. there is even a large community of people in america playing Japanese ONLY consoles, like the PC FX (http://www.pcenginefx.com/phpBB/). I've always looked at getting a 3DO or even a Neo-Geo CD (I can take loading times, if it means i can play metal slug or some figting games).
there hve always been huge successes (the PS1 or 2600 comes to mind immediately) and commercial failures (The Saturn and Sega Master System, for example) but even those are amazing to own, play and collect for. and a commercial success or failure does not determine the amount of fun that can be had with a console (the dreamcast, one of my favorite systems, helped bankrupt Sega).
so while there will always be the TRULY AMAZING consoles (Dreamcast, NES, SNES, Neo-Geo, Genesis, 2600), are there any consoles that were COMPLETELY and utterly horrible?
Are there really any BAD consoles?
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lordofduct
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 2907
- Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 12:57 pm
- Location: West Palm Beach
Stay far FAR FAR away from the VIS (Video Information System)... this thing was garbage; beyond garbage. I should know... I OWN one. The only game worth playing on it was Linx Golf, and even then it was sub standard.
I wonder if anyone has even heard of it. I just googled "VIS" and nothing about the console even came up. I ONCE found 1 page on the system and it had nothing nice to say about it.
wait... found something.
http://www.oldsoftware.com/VIS.html
Had to type in the full name to get it.
GO TANDY (and memorex I guess... but it was sold in Radioshack so I am assuming mostly Tandy's fault. Or are the two companies linked in some way?)
[edit]
A bit of research showed that Tandy bought Memorex in 1982, then sold it in 1993; about the same time the VIS came out. I guess that is why that website up there said the VIS was made by memorex.
I wonder if anyone has even heard of it. I just googled "VIS" and nothing about the console even came up. I ONCE found 1 page on the system and it had nothing nice to say about it.
wait... found something.
http://www.oldsoftware.com/VIS.html
Had to type in the full name to get it.
GO TANDY (and memorex I guess... but it was sold in Radioshack so I am assuming mostly Tandy's fault. Or are the two companies linked in some way?)
[edit]
A bit of research showed that Tandy bought Memorex in 1982, then sold it in 1993; about the same time the VIS came out. I guess that is why that website up there said the VIS was made by memorex.
I would like to most formally welcome you to the not so wonderful world of the heinous R-Zone. Is heinous a word?...
Here it is, and yes it is an actual game system.
The eyepiece thing you see there was the first model, produced by Tiger, who was "best known" for the also awful Game.com. The R-Zone's biggest error, besides being erroneously terrible (I'm making up words, I think), was supplementing it's futuristic cyber-punk look with a $24.99 K-Mart clearance price tag. The system itself played swappable LED style games of Panzer Dragoon, Virtua Fighter, and even NiGHTS, meaning that if those games couldn't save the R-Zone, nothing ever could. Fortuanately, you could rarely tell what exactly you were looking at while playing.
Unfortunately, they tried to redesign it. The SuperScreen model (shown in the link), was a horrendous cross-breed between a handheld and a tabletop unit. As a handheld, it was too big. As a table top unit, it had no joystick. It thus botched both attempts of playablity, making it completely unplayable (had it not already been). The definition of useless would be it's repositional screen which, after being repositioned, would roughly remain at about the same place. On the positive side, the SuperScreen included a backlight, quickly and effectively killing all of the batteries it needed, and in turn ending your playing session - assuming you were frozen in horror and couldn't hit the switch yourself.
Tiger would release yet another model, this time a true handheld, and was no less terrible than the previous creations. At least with the last two you had a huge cosmetic design flaw to whimsically wonder at; with this you'd finally experience the true terror of the games themselves.
I have all three R-Zones...and Toshinden is stuck in the slot of my SuperScreen, and I can't get it out! <pant! pant!>
I guess the thing that says the most about the R-Zone, is that no one ever says anything about it at all. Not even with NiGHTS and Panzer games. The system is really, really bad.
The Fairchild Channel F is also really bad.
While it could arguably be called the first cartridge based console system in gaming history, it has no other redeeming qualities, the least of which are it's unbelievable games.
It was released in 1776, just prior to the Atari 2600 and the Pilgrims, and lasted no more than a year and a half on the shelves (being generous). It's "Le Stick" style, one-handed controller offered a total of 4 directional inputs, meaning the games it tried to let people to play just couldn't be played, or even properly developed. The system's mangled on-screen squares, otherwise known as graphics, were pitfull next to the 2600's, and today make the R-Zone look like the PS4. In a wise marketing move, instead of giving proper names to each game, Fairchild would actually number them. Note the itallics. Every game on the Channel F would have it's actual title be a subtitle next to a humongous, (I take it better descriptive) number.
They made it to number "21". The Atari 2600, I think, had more.
Finally, the Bandai Playdia. This console is best described as Japan's idea of the Pico, although Bandai would have had you think otherwise.
It was released in 1994, and it's controller just might have been more daring than the Wii's, considering it had no D-pad. This resulted in a severe over abundance of completely unplayable, anime inspired kids' games, with the occasional Dragon's Lair rip-off. But by far the most notable titles, have to be what I call "spirtual awakening games". Each of these games feature real-life females, presumably authors, leading you to a psychological and spiritual nirvanna, of what religion or cult, I don't know. This "nirvanna" would seem to be the author telling you to get out some power crystals while you play, and also filling you in on what their favorite food is. My Japanese is very light, so I could be wrong, but I'll tell you that I will never ever play those crazy games again, ever.
Wow, that was fun, I wish I had more time to tell you about how the Odyssey holds up, and what happens to Odyssey 2 when it's controllers bust (so does the unit). That'll have to do though.
Here it is, and yes it is an actual game system.
The eyepiece thing you see there was the first model, produced by Tiger, who was "best known" for the also awful Game.com. The R-Zone's biggest error, besides being erroneously terrible (I'm making up words, I think), was supplementing it's futuristic cyber-punk look with a $24.99 K-Mart clearance price tag. The system itself played swappable LED style games of Panzer Dragoon, Virtua Fighter, and even NiGHTS, meaning that if those games couldn't save the R-Zone, nothing ever could. Fortuanately, you could rarely tell what exactly you were looking at while playing.
Unfortunately, they tried to redesign it. The SuperScreen model (shown in the link), was a horrendous cross-breed between a handheld and a tabletop unit. As a handheld, it was too big. As a table top unit, it had no joystick. It thus botched both attempts of playablity, making it completely unplayable (had it not already been). The definition of useless would be it's repositional screen which, after being repositioned, would roughly remain at about the same place. On the positive side, the SuperScreen included a backlight, quickly and effectively killing all of the batteries it needed, and in turn ending your playing session - assuming you were frozen in horror and couldn't hit the switch yourself.
Tiger would release yet another model, this time a true handheld, and was no less terrible than the previous creations. At least with the last two you had a huge cosmetic design flaw to whimsically wonder at; with this you'd finally experience the true terror of the games themselves.
I have all three R-Zones...and Toshinden is stuck in the slot of my SuperScreen, and I can't get it out! <pant! pant!>
I guess the thing that says the most about the R-Zone, is that no one ever says anything about it at all. Not even with NiGHTS and Panzer games. The system is really, really bad.
The Fairchild Channel F is also really bad.
While it could arguably be called the first cartridge based console system in gaming history, it has no other redeeming qualities, the least of which are it's unbelievable games.
It was released in 1776, just prior to the Atari 2600 and the Pilgrims, and lasted no more than a year and a half on the shelves (being generous). It's "Le Stick" style, one-handed controller offered a total of 4 directional inputs, meaning the games it tried to let people to play just couldn't be played, or even properly developed. The system's mangled on-screen squares, otherwise known as graphics, were pitfull next to the 2600's, and today make the R-Zone look like the PS4. In a wise marketing move, instead of giving proper names to each game, Fairchild would actually number them. Note the itallics. Every game on the Channel F would have it's actual title be a subtitle next to a humongous, (I take it better descriptive) number.
They made it to number "21". The Atari 2600, I think, had more.
Finally, the Bandai Playdia. This console is best described as Japan's idea of the Pico, although Bandai would have had you think otherwise.
It was released in 1994, and it's controller just might have been more daring than the Wii's, considering it had no D-pad. This resulted in a severe over abundance of completely unplayable, anime inspired kids' games, with the occasional Dragon's Lair rip-off. But by far the most notable titles, have to be what I call "spirtual awakening games". Each of these games feature real-life females, presumably authors, leading you to a psychological and spiritual nirvanna, of what religion or cult, I don't know. This "nirvanna" would seem to be the author telling you to get out some power crystals while you play, and also filling you in on what their favorite food is. My Japanese is very light, so I could be wrong, but I'll tell you that I will never ever play those crazy games again, ever.
Wow, that was fun, I wish I had more time to tell you about how the Odyssey holds up, and what happens to Odyssey 2 when it's controllers bust (so does the unit). That'll have to do though.
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Indy_aka_Rex
- 24-bit
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:20 pm
Why not consider handhelds? They're consoles/systems in most ways. And some of them suck badly.Indy_aka_Rex wrote:I don't think the R-Zone and the Game.com really count as "consoles", but rather handhelds or portables. In any case - bad console? If the Indrema had been released, I'm sure it would've sucked.
Yes, the Indrema would have been disasterous. I remember that company had a press release in Next Gen giving the top ten reasons why it would be better than PS2. The best reason, they so said officially, was something to the effect of "Indrema supports independent developers, so it gets all the perverted games." It's a shame it went the way of the M2 <cringe>.
NUON is pretty bad. It never got a dedicated release, so if you wanted the hardware, you'd have to pay $500 dollars for it built into a DVD player. The 9 games for it might not have all been terrible, but most were only ports, and the system was completely useless given that each of those games were compatible with the then $200 PS2.
I also have the CDi and VIS; both are quite bad. The CDi's finest game would be Hotel Mario, a laughable puzzle game using the Mario license. It had you closing hotels built by Bowser. That was some low quality theivery on Phillips' part. Phillips also promised the CDi would help you create your own games, like the old computer-consoles of the early eighties - justifying the $700 price. You'd sell your indie game and make a fortune!...? Of course, this never really happened, and you were left with another useless medium to "enjoy" Mad Dog Mcgree. And those shameless "Zelda games". The system itself was actually released over 30 times, each a different model, none of which can make the games not suck.
So all of these systems could be bought cheaper today, if you hadn't already wasted your $ on them, but they still have nothing worth playing. And all of them are strangely designed. So they're officially, un-good
There's quite a few bad systems out there, but these have been my "favorites".
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Indy_aka_Rex
- 24-bit
- Posts: 161
- Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 7:20 pm
Well I think they're separate.
Platforms = the separate forms in which gaming hardware are divided.
PC/MAC
Console
Handheld/Portable
It's all gaming, but a console is exactly what the word means: A box meant to sit beneath/above/next to your TV set. A handheld you take anywhere, play at any time. A PC - well a PC is a console, but it's not dedicated to gaming specifically.
So yeah.. I don't think consoles = handhelds/portables. 2 separate platforms of the same hobby/form of entertainment.
EDIT: Oh and.. yeah CDi was laughable. I'd take a 3DO over a CDi any day of the week.
Platforms = the separate forms in which gaming hardware are divided.
PC/MAC
Console
Handheld/Portable
It's all gaming, but a console is exactly what the word means: A box meant to sit beneath/above/next to your TV set. A handheld you take anywhere, play at any time. A PC - well a PC is a console, but it's not dedicated to gaming specifically.
So yeah.. I don't think consoles = handhelds/portables. 2 separate platforms of the same hobby/form of entertainment.
EDIT: Oh and.. yeah CDi was laughable. I'd take a 3DO over a CDi any day of the week.
Whoa there, I'm not getting into this. I'll just say that "console" is a term used in gaming loosely, and before the 90's "system" had been the word of choice. What does this mean? I don't know, but plenty of handhelds have shipped with both words on the box.
But I think for this thread, anything with interchangable games (the definition of console gaming, a game system, etc.) would do fine. I don't think I called the R-Zone a console initially anyway...
But another bad system is the Odyssey 2, which I briefly mentioned. Outside of coming in an awesome box, the thing was designed super-badly and was not in any way quality. It had a computer keypad built into the unit, which besides being foolish for a predominantly unprogrammable machine, was often unresponsive, or the whole layout (which was flat, no actual buttons) would slide into the system itself...up to half of it disappearing.
The controllers/joysticks had a star shaped inset, meaning you couldn't make circular movements. Worst of all, and like some other early (though more playable) systems, the controllers were built into the Odyssey 2 machine, meaning that a broken controller would equal a broken console. And they would break faster than anything I've ever seen.
As for the games, it had the fine, fine title, K.C. Munchkin.
That right there; that was it's best. That image's quality is only slightly lower the real deal. Welcome to the Odyssey 2, huh?
But I think for this thread, anything with interchangable games (the definition of console gaming, a game system, etc.) would do fine. I don't think I called the R-Zone a console initially anyway...
But another bad system is the Odyssey 2, which I briefly mentioned. Outside of coming in an awesome box, the thing was designed super-badly and was not in any way quality. It had a computer keypad built into the unit, which besides being foolish for a predominantly unprogrammable machine, was often unresponsive, or the whole layout (which was flat, no actual buttons) would slide into the system itself...up to half of it disappearing.
The controllers/joysticks had a star shaped inset, meaning you couldn't make circular movements. Worst of all, and like some other early (though more playable) systems, the controllers were built into the Odyssey 2 machine, meaning that a broken controller would equal a broken console. And they would break faster than anything I've ever seen.
As for the games, it had the fine, fine title, K.C. Munchkin.
That right there; that was it's best. That image's quality is only slightly lower the real deal. Welcome to the Odyssey 2, huh?
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Ramatut4001
- 128-bit
- Posts: 694
- Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 4:43 pm
- Location: Halethorpe, Maryland, USA