Transitioning from one sister to the other: Ever been done?

[flex wood]

I've switched twins before does that count? That was accidentally though. I've also switched roommates too. I was never interested in relationships though so I can't really give any advice.

[dsheinem]

I GOT IT!!!!

Alright, let's go over this.

You tell the sister you're dating that you want to have a ménage à trois with her and her sister. I believe this course of action will have a 2 pronged effect. Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause your girlfriend to recoil in disgust, whereupon she will insist that you remove yourself from the premises. At this point it is inevitable that she will seek out her sister to aprise her of this abhorrid turn of events. The sister will then offer your now ex-girlfriend the requisite sympathy, even as part of her can not help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unusual request. A few days go by and you place a call to the sister at a time your ex-girlfriend is known to be busy at work. Once the initial awkwardness is releaved with a little playful humour, which she of course can not resist, an invitation to a friendly dinner is proffered.

I know what you may be thinking, that there's only one flaw; they're sisters. She'd have to go out with you behind your ex-girlfriends back, she's not going to do that. If that's what you're thinking, you disappoint me, my friend. Your ex-girlfriend wants NOTHING to do with you. She tells her sister "If you want to waste your time with that pervert, that's your problem".

It's The Perfect Plan.

A++ -- would quote again

[jfrost]

I GOT IT!!!!

Alright, let's go over this.

You tell the sister you're dating that you want to have a ménage à trois with her and her sister. I believe this course of action will have a 2 pronged effect. Firstly, the very mention of the idea will cause your girlfriend to recoil in disgust, whereupon she will insist that you remove yourself from the premises. At this point it is inevitable that she will seek out her sister to aprise her of this abhorrid turn of events. The sister will then offer your now ex-girlfriend the requisite sympathy, even as part of her can not help but feel somewhat flattered by her inclusion in the unusual request. A few days go by and you place a call to the sister at a time your ex-girlfriend is known to be busy at work. Once the initial awkwardness is releaved with a little playful humour, which she of course can not resist, an invitation to a friendly dinner is proffered.

I know what you may be thinking, that there's only one flaw; they're sisters. She'd have to go out with you behind your ex-girlfriends back, she's not going to do that. If that's what you're thinking, you disappoint me, my friend. Your ex-girlfriend wants NOTHING to do with you. She tells her sister "If you want to waste your time with that pervert, that's your problem".

It's The Perfect Plan.

I was waiting until someone came out with that.

[jfrost]

I'm not an expert at all, but here is my take on the situation.

I have the impression that this would only be possible (directly transitioning from one to the other) in very specific circumstances, the most likely of which is that the 2nd sister would be someone arguably not as nice as you might have though. And it could also say something about how nice you are, I guess.

It must have happened many times in the history of mankind though.
Sometimes sisters have weird sibling rivalries as well and in such cases I wouldn't even be too surprised to know about cases where there was actually cheating involved (but fortunately I don't know about any). There is even the "cliche" in fiction about cheating occurring with the "best friend" which is probably mostly for extra dramatic effect, but crap like that happens in real life.

Regardless of all that, if you only just went out with the 1st girl (and not more than that), things don't look too bad. Don't go out with her again and break it off as soon as possible. It is the only decent thing to do if you are not really feeling it.

Perhaps you can stay friends, and after many months you can evaluate the situation again and consider asking the other sister out (ideally, the 1st sister will be dating someone by then).

Ivo.

Yeah, actually, I met this girl in the last day of carnival. So this was the second time we "went out".

As some of you might have read on the smile/frown thread, I sprained my ankle on the second day of carnival (Saturday). I got my leg immobilized and stayed home on Sunday. But on Monday and Tuesday I was rocking my leg bandage across the streets.

On Tuesday I met this girl, and it was alright, I could talk all night about my poor broken foot and so on. But it was carnival, and I wanted to kiss her, and at that point I figured I could do much worse.

As it turns out, she liked me and went after me, so I asked if she wanted to go on a date. People say the last day of carnival is the day to fall in love, perhaps she took it seriously.

It was fine, she's a good girl, but I just don't think I'm into it at this moment. I was just dumped by a girlfriend I had for a while and I still love her. I just don't want to commit to this girl, who seems cool, and end up hurting her feelings.

Her sister, though, is an entirely different proposition. I wouldn't think I'd have to worry too much about hurting her. She's older, more mature, I have things in common with her... So, that's why I'd want to make the switch.

[jfrost]

All jokes aside, I guess it really comes down to how well you knew her before you went on this date. Was she a mutual friend? Someone you ran into at a bar? An online meetup?

If the girl was relatively unknown to you before the date, just go ahead and cut it off immediately. At some point in the future (after a few months), try chatting up the sister, avoiding any references to the original date. If the sister remembers and inquires, just say it was a friendly, non-romantic hang out and change the subject (Don't make any value judgments about her being the more desirable sister). Then if you are able to get a date out of her, then you might be able to make it work. The most ideal situation is getting on a date with her without ever mentioning the other sister.

It of course requires a little stretching of the truth, and the hope that your original date with the first sister didn't cause her to be resentful of you.

She's a friend of a friend of a friend. So, yeah, very unknown. It was a carnival thing. These things happen.

[joehero]

I successfully pulled this off when I was in my early 20's until the day the first sister caught me in bed with the second sister. Then it became unsuccessful!

My approach to the situation would be this.
*Take her and her sister out with a group of your friends. Bowling or something interactive.
*Be nice but dont show her much interest. There will be others there that will.
*Take this opportunity to talk to the sister. Offer up a few high-fives to her.

You should be able to feel out the situation by the end of the evening. If shes interested you will know. This way you dont go into it completely blind and look like a complete jerk if your wrong. And the sister may be interested in one of your friends by the end of the night.

[Ivo]

I sort of get the carnival thing there is a bit of special circumstances but I think the right thing to do is just to stay out of any relationships for a while until you're at least a bit more over your ex-girlfriend.

For the current girl you should probably break it off as soon as possible. You can even explain you're not totally over your ex and got swept up in the carnival moment (although I'm not sure if you should, like I said earlier I'm not at all an expert). She put up with you and your broken foot during the festivities so she is likely more into you than you may think. Do your best to let her down gently.

For the sister it really would be easier to forget about her if you can. From what I understand you don't even know the sister so well and there is some probability that you will hurt the current girl more just by asking the sister out (that is even if the sister refuses).

If you stay friends with the current girl, and she gets over you easily and e.g. gets another boyfriend relatively soon, I wouldn't rule out reconsidering the situation at that stage (if the sister is still free by then and if you are actually over your ex by then).

The only noteworthy exception I can think is:
if after you cool off a bit you get to know the sister a bit better and start thinking she could be the love of your life or something equally serious (wait to see if that kind of impression is not ephemeral), then you should try anyway regardless of any possible hurt feelings and awkwardness.
Even then I would probably inform (not ask permission, inform) the current girl before talking to the sister about your feelings (but you should also be the one that talks to the sister first, which may be difficult to arrange).

Ok with the serious advice out of the way (and remember I'm not an expert in relationships)... You were right: this thread turned out great

Ivo.

[aaron]

Guys don't care about that kind of stuff.

I do. I don't even want to kiss a girl one of my buddies has slept with. Gross.

man, you gotta get over that when you date within a relatively small group of friends. maybe that's just here.

[Luke]

man, you gotta get over that when you date within a relatively small group of friends. maybe that's just here.

No way. If one of my friend's wieners has been in a girls mouth, I am not kissing that girl. I couldn't kiss her without thinking the entire time "So, Brandon's wiener has been in here". It's too gross.

[jfrost]

If you don't know the dude, it's fine?