Stupidest game ideas that really exist

[J T]

Dinner Date


It's a game where you sit at a dinner table and wait for your date who never arrives.

I was actually dumb enough to buy this one and play it through.

I found my posts about this game that I made in the Games Beaten thread right after beating the game. It's actually kind of funny to read them now. I was really mad at having wasted my time because I was duped into thinking this was some valid form of art game:

What a pretentious pile of horse shit. It's every bit as tedious and boring as you would expect from a game that is about getting stood up on a date. I don't know what I was even thinking by buying this game. I could have better spent my money on convincing someone to kick me in the balls.

It is a really lousy game. It's supposed to be artistic, and though I'm a fan of the art movement in gaming/interactive media, this was a piss poor example of it in my estimation. It's like a videogame rendition of My Dinner With Andre, only without Andre, so there's not really anything to hold your interest whatsoever.



The game will always play out the same story. It takes roughly 20 minutes to complete. You supposedly play the role of your character's subconscious mind, although part of what irritates me is that the game developer doesn't really seem to understand what the subconscious is and it's just a tacked on rationalization for the fact that you can't do much of anything in this game. The gameplay is sort of like quick time events, that don't require you to be quick. You see a bunch of floating letters on the screen if you press them, your character will perform an action from a limited set of actions. You can look at the clock, tap your finger on the table, stretch your arms, look to the left, eat some food, drink some wine, and other things one does when biding their time waiting for something to happen. You really play the role of volition over inconsequential actions rather than a true subconscious. You don't actually subtly influence the character's behavior through primal urges and historically relevant relationship patterns, like one would expect from a subconscious.

Essentially the player is being stood up by the game (spoiler: the game, like your date, never shows up). There's nothing for you to do other than fidget with pointless controls that do not affect the story whatsoever. You simply listen to your character's internal monologue, which becomes increasingly whiny and despairing as he realizes that his date is standing him up. It feels very much like being stood up for a date actually, so I guess it succeeds in that regard. I played this game because I thought they might actually do something interesting with that, but it really never amounted to much at all other than listening to some bloke prattle on about his insecurities.

[BurningDoom]

Just saw a review of this one on CGRUndertow:

Aero Porter

In the game you are tasked with separating the airport customers luggage...seriously, that's the entire game.

This game is made by Yoot Saito, who also developed Seaman and Odama, so I'd be willing to try it before I judge, but the idea does sound terrible.

I haven't personally tried it, but the CGRUndertow review let me see all I want to see. There really is nothing more to it. There's these different colored levels of conveyors, and different colored pieces of luggage. Your task is to separate the colored luggage to the appropriately colored conveyor-level. As the game goes on it gets faster and has more luggage.

[AppleQueso]

Just saw a review of this one on CGRUndertow:

Aero Porter

In the game you are tasked with separating the airport customers luggage...seriously, that's the entire game.

This game is made by Yoot Saito, who also developed Seaman and Odama, so I'd be willing to try it before I judge, but the idea does sound terrible.

I haven't personally tried it, but the CGRUndertow review let me see all I want to see. There really is nothing more to it. There's these different colored levels of conveyors, and different colored pieces of luggage. Your task is to separate the colored luggage to the appropriately colored conveyor-level. As the game goes on it gets faster and has more luggage.

To be fair, there's a lot of games out there that are an absolute blast to play that are a complete bore to watch.

[J T]

American Pickers is a bad idea for a game based on a bad idea for a reality TV show. Slog through horribly organized rummage sales in hopes of finding gold(!) in them there trash heaps.

[Xeogred]

Regenerating health.

No excuses for this bologna. Tension completely ruined.

[Reprise]

What about games that are named after just one letter from the alphabet? That just seems ridiculous to me. D and Z for example.

[BurningDoom]

Regenerating health.

No excuses for this bologna. Tension completely ruined.

Agreed. Just have your character take a smoke break and he's a new man. Stupid.

I know that health bars or health packs aren't completely realistic either. But it's not as completely easy as hiding behind a rock and it does force players to explore areas, which I personally like exploration and that sense of discovery when you do find a health or a power-up.

[dsheinem]

Regenerating health.

No excuses for this bologna. Tension completely ruined.

Agreed. Just have your character take a smoke break and he's a new man. Stupid.

I know that health bars or health packs aren't completely realistic either. But it's not as completely easy as hiding behind a rock and it does force players to explore areas, which I personally like exploration and that sense of discovery when you do find a health or a power-up.

except you are ignoring the fact that regenerating health games, when done properly, make as good use of that mechanic as other developers do with health packs. both can be done well and lead to intense gunfights, both can be too difficult or easy...

[SamuraiMegas]

Some games actually make sense to have regen, like the InFamous games. You are a super human... it makes sense that you wouldn't die crazy quick.

[AppleQueso]

What about games that are named after just one letter from the alphabet? That just seems ridiculous to me. D and Z for example.

Makes it a pain in the ass to search for too.