Random Thoughts Thread

[RyaNtheSlayA]

I certainly did not expect snow this morning.

[Luke]

Bitches are crazy.

This is an actual email from a bride to be to her lucky bridesmaids:



To m lovely Bridesmaid: [Names removed to protect the brideslaves]

As you all know I picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand by my side, share and make happen my special day to Jake. Each of you individually have a reason and a special place in my heart of why I picked you to be a bridesmaid. We have set our date for Saturday, August 31, 2013 in Vail, Colorado. That seems far away but it really isn't, the earlier the planning the better. You may have already knew that my wonderful sister L— will be the Maid of Honor, she's in charge under me. Also my lovely mom will be a big help as well. L— has a big role in throwing me a bridal shower and bachelorette party, of course all of you guys do but at the end of the day shes the go to person and makes it happen.

You all have a big roll in this wedding, so before we continue I'm going to be setting some ground rules and its very important you read and think about everything through before you accept this honor to be a bridesmaid. If you guys email anything I would also like you to put L— in the CC. Not all the bridesmaid need to be CC'd unless its coming from me or L—, if it something everyone needs to see then well do it. We set the date to August 31, 2013 if that's a problem we need to know NOW. Also by the end of the week we will be setting dates for the engagement party, bridal show and bachelorette party.

Our wedding party is really the most important people at the wedding besides my self and Jake so we want every single one of our bridesmaid and grooms at our parties, I have 10 not 8 where two couldn't make it so if you already know you cant make one of the parties then we have to find someone else, not to be harsh in the slightest it would sadden me and of course you'll still be invited to our wedding, engagement ect. But it's different if your not in the wedding party and couldn't make it. We'll give everyone well advance dates for the parties and it will always fall on a weekend. The wedding as I stated will be in Vail the engagement party will either be in NY or CT and the bachelorette party will be in Vegas, cliche yeaa but I've never been.

A few girls live out of town so if there is going to be a problem with coming to either one then I need to know now because after this week I don't want to be surprised. I would like everyone to send me any dates they are going away or planning to go away after February so if your going away in January I don't care. I want any dates from February to the day of our wedding in August, that way we know not to plan something when your away. But after this week the dates are set in stone. Also if money is tight and you cant afford to contribute to say the bachelorette party or wont be able to afford a dress etc then L— and Myself don't have time to deal with that, I'm sorry. This includes flights as well, everyone knows the states where the parties are going to be held so if you wont be able to afford a flight then that means you cant make a party which ultimately means I cant have you as a bridesmaid. Obviously we'll get the best deals and were not gonna books flights for $1000 and shit that's why were doing this in advance, that goes for bridesmaids dresses as well everything will be affordable but if you think by affordable its going to be a $25 forever 21 dress then your going to the wrong wedding.

If your out of state though don't think you have to fly in for all fittings, that we will work with you, find stores in your town, get measurements..you don't have to worry about that. Also if you accept this honor another thing is that you need to be available, I'm not going to harass you with wedding stuff every hour of everyday but if its something important and it takes you a week even 2-3 days to get back to me seeeee ya! I don't have time to wait around for responses, everyone has their phone on them, it shouldn't take you more than a day to get back to me, even if your out of the country, check your email!

Furthermore, Ever since I could remember I have dreamed about this day all my life. I want to share it with the people that are most important to me. You only get one time to plan your dream wedding and I couldn't pick a more amazing group of girls to make that dream come true! So please, what's stated above think about it all and by Wednesday I need to know if everyone is 100% in, and what I have asked about sending me dates if your gonna be away between Feb-Aug ill need that on Wednesday. If you don't think you'll be able to attend one party but can make the rest of them I'm sorry but I'll have to take you out as a bridesmaid and put you as a guest. If you want to get back to me before Wednesday, that's fine. Really think about everything I've said. This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so I hope you girls can share this special day with us!

Love,

[BoringSupreez]

Looks like a great way to catch up on the Resistance series, which is the PS3 franchise I've somehow managed to not really play yet. Comes out "this winter."

[gtmtnbiker]

Bitches are crazy.

This is an actual email from a bride to be to her lucky bridesmaids:

Pretty sad. Never understood the need to have 10 bridesmaids. What a waste of time/money for those unlucky to have the dishonor.

When my wife/I had our wedding, we just had the best man/maid of honor because we wanted to keep it simple.

[SamuraiMegas]

This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so I hope you girls can share this special day with us!

Love,

What this really means:

This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so you better clear your schedule for the next year, spend hundreds of dollars for me, check your email every day for the next year, tell me if you have any Dr. appointments after February and MAKE IT TO EVERY PARTY OR YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE A BRIDESMAID, END OF STORY. I hope you can share this special day with us!

Love,

[Michi]

This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so I hope you girls can share this special day with us!

Love,

What this really means:

This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so you better clear your schedule for the next year, spend hundreds of dollars for me, check your email every day for the next year, tell me if you have any Dr. appointments after February and MAKE IT TO EVERY PARTY OR YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BE A BRIDESMAID, END OF STORY. I hope you can share this special day with us!

Love,

Actually, what I think it translates to is, "FU if you can't live up to my insanely unrealistic expectations of my completely perfect, I-refuse-to-believe non-achievable, wedding fantasy that I've been doing nothing but hyping up all my life because I have nothing better to do."

[StuntDouble]

I'm so burnt out on wedding bullsh*t for the rest of the year. My girlfriend and I were invited to 6 different weddings, all within a two month period. Two of them are on the same weekend. One of those is on a Friday at 5:30 (WTF?) and is three hours away. Even though we're only attending three of them (two are close and I actually like the other couple we'll have to travel for), we're still expected to send gifts and money to the ones we can't attend. This sh*t is getting too damned expensive.

Did I miss a memo about a change in handshake protocol? The last few times I've met someone and shook their hand, it felt like I was holding a dead fish. I feel like telling them, "I'm not holding your hand for a windy walk down the beach. Show me you have some grip, or I'm taking the hand with me".

Also, look me in the fracking eyes when you're shaking my hand. Otherwise I'll assume you're plotting against me.

Sorry, I guess that turned into a random rant.

[Erik_Twice]

You all have a big roll in this wedding,

big roll

big roll

big roll

[elmagicochrisg]

Sorry, I guess that turned into a random rant.

And a fun one to read...

You don't go to the wedding, you don't buy them shit. It's them getting married, not you.

Unless they allow you to fuck the bride too afterwards...

As for handshakes. Today I had the opposite. Instead of shaking my hand he shaked my fingers, and tried to squeeze them to pulp in the process. The fuck!?...

[Forlorn Drifter]

Did I miss a memo about a change in handshake protocol? The last few times I've met someone and shook their hand, it felt like I was holding a dead fish. I feel like telling them, "I'm not holding your hand for a windy walk down the beach. Show me you have some grip, or I'm taking the hand with me".

Also, look me in the fracking eyes when you're shaking my hand. Otherwise I'll assume you're plotting against me.

Sorry, I guess that turned into a random rant.

I can agree with this. Besides a couple of close friends, most people shake like shit. I always feel awkward when someone throws me a dead fish, seeing as I don't want to offend them by squeezing too hard. A conundrum. I've also been surprised by how much more arm clasping people have been doing lately. Its not something I expect by any means.