Joke Thread

Post by **BoringSupreez** » Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:07 pm

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."

Post by **Gamerforlife** » Wed Oct 12, 2011 7:19 pm

Classic Statler and Waldorf, this put a smile on my face today

Post by **J T** » Sat Oct 15, 2011 6:43 pm

"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here," said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar."

(explanation)

Post by **elmagicochrisg** » Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:27 pm

J T wrote:"We don't allow faster-than-light neutrinos in here," said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar."

(explanation)

I'm sure neutrinos slow down too when they are wasted...

Post by **Gamerforlife** » Mon Oct 17, 2011 1:43 am

This is more of a quote than an actual joke, but it made me laugh regardless

"Maybe you should eat makeup so you can try and be pretty on the inside, bitch."

Post by **lisalover1** » Sat Oct 29, 2011 1:43 pm

Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate pizza before it was cool.

Post by **s1mplehumar** » Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:36 pm

Yo mama's so short, she can do backflips under the bed.

Post by **Luke** » Tue Jul 03, 2012 10:15 am

s1mplehumar wrote:Yo mama's so short, she can do backflips under the bed.

I still like the classic:

Yo mama's so dumb it takes her an hour to make minute rice.

and

Yo mama so dumb she asked the pharmacist how often to take 1 a day vitamins. (I'll take credit for this one if no one has ever heard it).

Eer'one hate you mama. Only reason your mama can dance is that she had to dodge a coat hanger for nine months.

Post by **flojocabron** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:14 am

Yo mama so stupid she thought Kim jong il was a rapper.

Post by **BoneSnapDeez** » Tue Jun 24, 2014 9:34 pm

A magical tractor is driving down the road.
It turns into a field.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Daisy.
Daisy who?
DAISY ME ROLLIN' THEY HATIN'.

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