Words and Phrases That Should be Banned from Game Reviews

[CaptainHarlock]

I absolutely loathe it when I read professional reviews (IGN, Game Informer, etc) that begin with phrases like....

"I've never played a game of this particular genre but..."

I've never understood this either, and blame this sort of thing on the editor. Have reviewers review games that reflect their own gaming habits, not just try and shoehorn them into other genres. That usually just leads to bad reviews as the person writing it often doesn't understand parts of the game they're playing or how it works in the wider context of the genre. I think the main reason we see stuff like that is the editor just sees a huge pile of games on his desk that need reviewing, and just starts firing them off willy-nilly so that they can get done.

[Damm64]

I don't read enough professional reviews to even notice the cliches they use.

This.

I don't read reviews or watch them anymore.

I read tons of reviews, but I've stopped reading professional reviews. I read a lot of Gamefaqs user reviews.

And this article is the perfect opportunity to link to one of my most hated professional reviews, Gamespot's review of The Simpsons Arcade Game for XBLA/PSN. He basically says "It sucks, because it's old."

Wow, that was painfull to read. What he was specting from a 20 year old arcade game? For these reasons is why i allways jump to the user reviews ori just watch a gameplay video on youtube and if the game looks good enough to me i'll get it.

[noiseredux]

I've never understood this either, and blame this sort of thing on the editor. Have reviewers review games that reflect their own gaming habits, not just try and shoehorn them into other genres. That usually just leads to bad reviews as the person writing it often doesn't understand parts of the game they're playing or how it works in the wider context of the genre. I think the main reason we see stuff like that is the editor just sees a huge pile of games on his desk that need reviewing, and just starts firing them off willy-nilly so that they can get done.

alright so you're an editor. You get sent a 2D shmup. You say "hey, which one of you writers likes shooters?" All hands go up. You say "2D ones... not FPS." All hands go down. What do you do?

[ZeroAX]

At the end of the day, I'm saddened to say that it isn't neccesary. The unnatural speech and turns of phrase are so obvious, so generic and so unequal in form that it's impossible for me not to notice. It's like seeing a politician talk, it's so awkard it pains me to hear them.


I haven't been able to find most of my notes, they are scattered among several papers but I also don't want to bore you with too many examples. Those are words and phrases that should absolutedly be avoided whenever possible and while some are clearly worse offenders than others, two or three of these in the same review would be enough for me to declare you critically dead.

Comments in bold
PD: Most phrases will have many variations, but they are all one and the same

it sucks
compelling characters (Non-specific, non-telling, completely overused. Compare to "beliable" which is more informative and requires less regulated writting)
- compelling narrative
- compelling gameplay
Ok,so...
- Ok, so here we go!
- Ok, so let's see...
The graphics are awesome, the music is great and the X is a lot of fun (For bonus points, waggle your arms for emphasis)
The most fun X
realistic
classic X action (as in, "classic plataforming action")
feels like work
boring (use "bland" or "insipid" instead, boring doesn't explain why
overrated
underrated
fiddly (Have you ever seen this word? Talk about irony!)
heavy
elegant
deep
brain burner
cutthroat
hard as fuck
- difficult as fuck
a breeze (difficulty-wise)
random (as in "random humour" or "random shooting game". Uggh.)
great music (It's always great music. Not any other adjectives!)
memorable Boss Battles
sense of speed
- unrivaled sense of speed
blazing through the streets of X
overly difficult
- overly short
open enviroments
huge sandbox
fast-paced gameplay
In conclusion (This is third-grader writting and unfortunatedly seen as good)
rose-tinted glasses (Meaning: You are a biased moron, unlike me)
repeated playthroughs
innovative
theme (instead of setting)
Comparisons to 1984. All of them.
classic (meaningless word)
cinematic (Meaning: Boring gameplay)
repetitive (prevents you from explaining why)
cheap
sense of progression
RPG-elements
dark/ dystopian world
dumbed down
highlights
a much more appropiate X
But once you get over the fact that
(People who like X) should give Y a look
gamepaly elements
a welcome addition to the genre
cartoony (Meaning: I have no idea what I'm saying)
sluggish controls
it's a shame X (isn't better)
no X at all
the fact that in (year) we still suffer from (X) is (unforgivable)
scratches an itch
- scrathces the same itch as
getting your X fix
without any bells and whistles
fun (weasel word)
colorful graphics
where it doesn't dissapoint
- and it doesn't dissapoint here
abandons the X gameplay of it's predeccesor
benefits from X
- benefits from the powerful X hardware
- makes the best use of the X capabilities
a common problem of X is that you Y
along the same lines as X
well-crafted
what X lacks in Y, it makes up in Z
a joy to play
There's more than the usual (mechanic) of X, here you...
For starters, X is (way to say bad, often a childish way to say bad)
looks like crap
- looks like shit
The X was good in it's time but
seriously, what the fuck were they thinking?
leaderboard (Scoreboard is not cool anymore)

I could go on and on. And don't think for a moment you need those to write a review, those phrasings are only useful if you want to write like a robot.

A dyslexic one.

Covered in pee.

Anyone who isn't lazy to go through his blog ( http://eriktwicedoesitagain.wordpress.com/ ) and find how many times he uses these?

[Luke]

And I think we can all agree on the fact that "hardcore gamer" has never been defined.

[Erik_Twice]

People who like writing should give General_Norris' list a look. It's a welcome addition to the thread. Of course the fact that in 2012 we still suffer from cliched writing is unforgivable...

alright so you're an editor. You get sent a 2D shmup. You say "hey, which one of you writers likes shooters?" All hands go up. You say "2D ones... not FPS." All hands go down. What do you do?

I would wonder why I hired people who can't do their job

I'm only half kidding. I think a critic should have wide knowledge of the medium and understand a wide variety of genres and styles. If you do not understand Castlevania, Streets of Rage or DoDonPachi what qualifies you as a critic?

You and I should go and grab a drink. You did fail to mention "fail" and no "epic", but I hug your list.

What an epic fail on my part.

I accept your drink, tough

@ZeroAX

I actually don't recall using those words recently. I know I have used a couple of clichés but they are not on the list. That said, my earliest reviews do have some, or something close enough for sure.

[noiseredux]

I would wonder why I hired people who can't do their job

I'm only half kidding.

Right. But realistically. You have a staff of whatever, a half-dozen to a dozen writers. Do you honestly think that you'll never encounter some niche genre or series that nobody in the room is experienced in?

[Erik_Twice]

Right. But realistically. You have a staff of whatever, a half-dozen to a dozen writers. Do you honestly think that you'll never encounter some niche genre or series that nobody in the room is experienced in?

I just think that if you are going to write a review, you should be prepared to really know the stuff you are working on. Given one week to play Sonic CD or DoDonPachi, someone who doesn't know about the genre will never be able to write a good review. It's your responsability and for the IGN guys also your job to know this stuff!

This doesn't mean you need to know everything about Tales of before reviewing a game. But you must have played enough games so as to be able to analyze it.

[noiseredux]

someone who doesn't know about the genre will never be able to write a good review.

I guess I just disagree with this. If you're an avid (sigh) "gamer," and have an analytical mind, and are a good writer, then I think you can write a good review based on your personal experience with a game even if you're not familiar with that genre/series prior.

It's your responsability and for the IGN guys also your job to know this stuff!

This doesn't mean you need to know everything about Tales of before reviewing a game. But you must have played enough games so as to be able to analyze it.

But you still didn't answre my hypothetical question (at least seriously). Again, I agree that it would be ideal that every review staff could cover every genre/series, but logistically, there's just too many games out there man. Pick the dozen people here you consider the most knowledgeable on the widest variety of games and I'm sure we could throw them a curveball that none of them has any experience with.

[Erik_Twice]

I guess I just disagree with this. If you're an avid (sigh) "gamer," and have an analytical mind, and are a good writer, then I think you can write a good review based on your personal experience with a game even if you're not familiar with that genre/series prior.

Yes and no. I'm not explaining myself very well. I just think it's possible, but very unlikely.

For example. I'm sure everyone in this thread can review and analyze Super Mario Bros and Castlevania. They are simple games and the level design is obvious. If you have never played a platformer you can understand those games very well.

Now, Sonic is a different matter because it's so nuanced and complex. The level design, physics and concepts used require you to understand the basic situations derived from a run and jump gameplay. It's very hard to understand Sonic in a week or two which is why there are so many people blindy thinking that Sonic is "all about going fast", they haven't really understood all there is to the game. And I'm not going to blame them, it's very hard to understand when you don't have the basics. I can review Castlevania but Sonic? Not yet!

Let's put another example. I can take a modernist UPA cartoon and try to understand it's design. Sure, it can be done, but it's far easier and less likely to err to understand a classic Disney cartoon and then understand UPA than to jump into the modern bandwagon without your basic skills already honed.

At the end of the day, what matters is that you can understand what kind of game you have and communicating it to the audience. Having played the genre before hand is incredibly helpful in that regard.