A Fundamental Questions About Mario Bros.

[o.pwuaioc]

Considering the lack of royalty in the region (Daisy?) King Koopa may not have much of a choice unless he stoops to marrying a commoner or creating his own bride.

Bunch of things created to illustrate the point, from friendly (the CollegeHumor "catch up" session) to more deviant (JK "Persona"'s take on the affair). Of course, Bowser could just be a creature of habit.

I always thought this was the backstory:

[prfsnl_gmr]

Why can't we see Wart again?

This. I am getting a little tired of Bowser as the villain in the main Mario games. and I do not think that I am alone in saying that I would very much like to see Wart make a return to the Mario series. (Seriously, he isn't even in Mario Kart...)

[Jungell]

I'll try to explain it.

1. Bowser is a tortoise, right?
2. Mario is both a plumber and a carpenter?
3. Peach is a princess?

Bowser really wants to become a turtle but he lives on land, so it's almost impossible for him to achieve this. Mario is both a plumber and a carpenter, so he's used to both water and land (and water on land, for that matter). Peach has most likely lived her life with a silver spoon in her mouth, right? She hasn't really done anything with her life, making her the most useless of the bunch. Are you following me so far?

This is obviously a cover up. The plot has more holes than a cheese grater. So let's take a look around the world they live in. In many places we find censorship. Boxes of money are covered with question marks. Not the best cover, one would think? Wrong. This is the whole point.
Look closely. Very closely. Look at the sky, the ground and the flying bricks. Are you playing this game? Or is the game playing you?!

Mario Bros.
Mario Bros.
Which word also begins with an M? That's right! Mind-control!
They are trying to blind you to the truth. You're not playing Mario, Mario is playing you!
Why else would Bowser be a tortoise? It doesn't make sense does it?

Think again.

If you take all the letters in Nintendo and flip them around and exchange some of them, you get what? Correct. Nintento becomes World Domination.

The truth is ugly.

[o.pwuaioc]

^Actually, the game starts with an S. It's Super Mario Bros., not to be confused with Mario Bros.

[AppleQueso]

^Actually, the game starts with an S. It's Super Mario Bros., not to be confused with Mario Bros.

Super Mind Control!

[samsonlonghair]

Because Daisy won't answer Koopa's phone calls anymore.
Duh.

[dunpeal2064]

I always figured it was a political move. She's princess, and he wants to rule the kingdom.

Mario saves her while stealing his wealth.

Kinda like Robin Hood

[alienjesus]

More recent games often make it clear that the answer is either A) Cake or B) to piss Mario off. It seems it's more about hitting back at mario these days and less about actually wanting to kidnap the princess at all. I reckon Bowser just wants a buddy to hang out with

[ElkinFencer10]

Why the hell does King Koopa even kidnap the Princess? What's the point?

Haven't you ever wondered where Baby Bowser and seven sons of Bowser came from?

*Cronozilla puts on his devil's advocate cap*
Sunshine Spoilers

Sunshine clearly states that Peach is not Bowser Jr's mother in the ending.

Can't really say anything about the other kids ... I always assumed they were from Bowser's 7 failed marriages. None of those brats look the same. It's also obvious he only gets them on the weekends. They only show up every once in awhile. Jr's there all the time.

Maybe they're adopted ... is there a Mario Universe Kingdom equal to China in terms of adoptions? Maybe it's covered in the Mario & Luigi games.

And then there's those other people. The guard-boss in Mario 3, and the bosses in 3D Land. Very reminiscent.

Cousins? Brothers/Sister?

Why can't we see Wart again? ... Wait, if Mario 2 was a dream is that how Mario see's Bowser?

I reject your logic. I like my theory better. It makes Peach out to be a slut, and since she always pissed me off, I shall stick to that theory! THE GAME LIED TO YOU!!

[pakopako]

Can't really say anything about the other kids ... I always assumed they were from Bowser's 7 failed marriages. None of those brats look the same. It's also obvious he only gets them on the weekends. They only show up every once in awhile. Jr's there all the time.

I can't picture Bowser getting conned SEVEN times (actually, considering his streak of losses) into getting the kids and not their Kingdoms -- and you know if Bowser marries, he marries rich. (in SMB3, the Koopa Kids had took over seven kingdoms of their own.)

Or the Koopa Kids (JR included) could be a Gargamel-esque scheme cooked up by the lonely King.

Why can't we see Wart again? ... Wait, if Mario 2 was a dream is that how Mario see's Bowser?

Could be, could be. (Have you read the Valiant Comic edition where Captain N enters Mother Brain's sub-con? Although in that series, Wart is seen as a scheming Bowser wanna-be.)

Also, check out the SXSW 2011 bumper for Mario in Real Life -- somewhat related to the 1987 Zelda flick