OK, here we go...

[nightrnr]

First thing you gotta do to improve your chances with women is take off the glasses, then rip the sleeves out of your shirt. Messing your hair also helps, especially if there's a fistpumping song blaring in the background.

The success rate is increased significantly if you have a token gay friend walking you through the makeover process.

Just make sure you avoid the head jock, he doesn't play fair. At all.

What movie is that taken from? I want to say, "Can't buy me Love", but wouldn't be surprised if it was something else.

Now why do you think you're a hopeless case? There is at least some people out there who will be interested in you. I've seen people of all type get attracted to others: attractive, ugly, skinny, fat, short, tall, etc.

I think you do have to put some effort into trying to meet others. That is, maintain your appearance/hygiene, don't be shy in talking with the opposite sex, etc.

If you're a guy, I think the odds of finding a partner increases as you get older since you have a wider group of women to choose from.

Besides the fact that I'm unemployed, with no prospects, and live with my parents:
I could stop right there.
I'm pretty much a mess right now. There are reasons for that, but it's not worth getting into.

I also deal with anxiety and depressive issues and never found meds that seemed to help. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm socially inept, I have successfully worked in retail for a good amount of time and got along well with everyone, including customers.
But in most social situations, I find myself wishing I was somewhere else. I've felt this way since before Jr. High, I think. It's weird, I'm quiet, yet I'm an open book. I have no serious problems, yet I'm a nervous wreck with anything that I'm not used to.

Nevermind though. It really comes down to me feeling like an unmotivated loser right now. And obviously, that's got to change if I were to ever consider dating (again?, I think I can count the # of dates I've had on 1 hand).
I'm complicated, a little bitter, and I definitely don't know how to fully explain myself (much less in a forum).
Who knows why I even bother to post things in the 1st place. But you asked.

[Luke]

Nevermind though. It really comes down to me feeling like an unmotivated loser right now.

From your posts I would imagine you feel this way because you are intelligent, but never use your full potential. I could be wrong, but it sounds like you are down on yourself because you know what you COULD be doing, but you don't want to put in the effort. Doing nothing is really easy, and while in a funk, that's what you want to do.

Give yourself a swift kick in the ass and get self motivated. Easy to say, hard to do, but in the end self deprecation will get you no where in life.

Chin up.

[gtmtnbiker]

Besides the fact that I'm unemployed, with no prospects, and live with my parents:
I could stop right there.
I'm pretty much a mess right now. There are reasons for that, but it's not worth getting into.

Yes, being unemployed and living with your parents is a turn off to some people. But there are many people who will accept you for who you are and overlook that, at least initially.

The key is to be confident in yourself and be cheerful/friendly. Strike up a conversation with someone, male or female about small stuff (e.g, weather, traffic, an article of clothing they're wearing, the song on the radio, etc). If the person reacts positively to the initial bits of conversation, then you can expand upon it.

You will strike out many times. That's ok. Just chalk it up to learning to be more social. When you strike out, think about how the conversation went and what you might have done differently to have it go better. Talk it over with a friend or sibling but don't over-analyze it because it's possible that nothing would have gone well with that person.

But the more times you have a social conversation with someone, the better you'll get at it. My wife thinks I'm one of the best at working the room conversation wise. But reality, yes, I'm comfortable many times but there are other times, I feel like a klutz. I just try to not take things personally.

[ninjainspandex]

Nightrnr may i ask how old you are? Because many 20 somethings still live at home now days its not as taboo as it once was hell i lived at home till 24

[ZenErik]

Could be worse. All your friends could be female. Thats my situation. You would think that might be good, but not everyone wants to be just friends. All sorts of jealousy ensues. Ugh.

[gtmtnbiker]

Could be worse. All your friends could be female. Thats my situation. You would think that might be good, but not everyone wants to be just friends. All sorts of jealousy ensues. Ugh.

If they're truly friends, then why wouldn't you tell them that you're looking for a girlfriend and if they have any thoughts on who might be up your alley? I've had friends fix me up with someone in the past.

[ninjainspandex]

Also if you are unemployed you should be thanking your lucky stars that you are single i think you fail to realize how expensive women are

[ZenErik]

Could be worse. All your friends could be female. Thats my situation. You would think that might be good, but not everyone wants to be just friends. All sorts of jealousy ensues. Ugh.

If they're truly friends, then why wouldn't you tell them that you're looking for a girlfriend and if they have any thoughts on who might be up your alley? I've had friends fix me up with someone in the past.

I do, haha. One of them is one of my closest friends and just refuses to get over the fact that I'm not going to date her. I've got someone in mind. Just haven't made it official yet.

[nightrnr]

Thanks for your concern guys. I feared a little more negative backlash from my post.
I'm not looking for a pity party either, but I do enough self-criticism that I don't need to hear it from anyone else.

Luke
Your right, of course, about the self-deprecating getting (me) nowhere. It's a character flaw I need to work on.

gtmtnbiker
Thank you Mr. Self-Help
I can be better in all that. But I'm never going to be a super confident Social Butterfly or anything. It's just not me.
The cheerful/friendly part, I can definitely do though (assuming I can calm myself down enough to not freak out).

Also if you are unemployed you should be thanking your lucky stars that you are single i think you fail to realize how expensive women are

Not only that, But I'm glad I don't have any kids. They can be quite expensive as well.
I definitely think that it's better that I'm single right now though; I need that freedom to figure things out.

As for my age, I feel like I'm a teenage 31 year old. Pathetic, right?
It makes more sense if you knew me better.

[brunoafh]

As for my age, I feel like I'm a teenage 31 year old. Pathetic, right?

It's not pathetic, having zero confidence is probably the worst mindset you can have when it comes to women. There are women out there for everyone, you just have to find one that accepts you for you. As you said though, you should use the freedom you have now to straighten yourself out. You mentioned you have some issues going on in life right now.

I personally know a guy that's in his 40s, living in his Mother's basement, and has a good girlfriend. Status isn't always everything, and the women that think otherwise aren't worth it anyway.