Do you like the original Clash of the Titans, in all of it's claymation glory?
Do you like Evil Dead, with it's story of youngsters, monsters and demon books?
Have you ever wondered what abomination would be produced if the two of them had an unofficial love child?
Well my friends, you're in luck! Cause I've got just the film for you:
Equinox
A man and a woman are running through the woods from an unknown force. There's an explosion. The woman is killed and the man continues to run until he reaches the road. He tries to wave down a car, but it's a trap. The car has no driver. He notices too late and is run down by the unmanned vehicle. Luckily another car comes by and picks him up.
One year later we meet the man, David. Suffering from a trauma so great, David has been put into an institution, his sole focus being the cross he always wears.
Pretty, shinny object....*rocks*....I wonder if it can help me break through that shoddily constructed wall in front of me.
Via an audio recording made a year earlier we learn what brought on his mental break.
Equinox tells the story of four friends, (David, Susan, Jim and Vicki). The four head off into the woods for a picnic, but first they decide to pay a visit to David's friend, Dr. Watermann (cameo by Fritz Leiber Jr., for all you book fans). Dr. Watermann has something he wants to show David, but when they get there Dr. Watermann is nowhere to be found. And neither is his house.
Gee, I wonder why.
What they find instead is a creepy park ranger who tells them he hasn't seen the Doctor for a while. David decides they need to solve this mystery (Jinkies!) and drags everyone around with him through the woods looking for the good Doctor.
While looking they take a break to have a kick a*& KFC picnic, the likes of which have not been seen before or since
No one can beat your cooking skills, Vicki....Yes, Jim is a bit of a smart ass.
Ignoring the fried goodness, David keeps searching and stumbles across something he's almost sure shouldn't exist in the middle of the American woods
Impressive. I hear it's damn hard to build a castle on the surface of the sun.
Dragging the others away from the food they've been looking forward to ALL DAMN DAY, David takes them to see the castle only to realize it has mysteriously disappeared. Realizing he no longer has a reason to force them to climb a cliff, and not one to be deterred, David instead forces them to investigate the cave at the bottom of the cliff (Honestly, a lot of time in this movie is spent humoring David).
No, that's all right, David. I'd rather stay out here in the god damned sun with my precious KFC bucket.
Along the way they lose Vicki (which seems to be a recurring theme
). Thankfully, Vicki can shriek with the best of them, and promptly does so when she stumbles across a wrinkly old man with the most disturbingly awesome old woman cackle in the history of cinema
Seriously. I'm not kidding about the laugh:
I should come as no surprise to anyone that this is not a good book to be carrying around.
Gee, ya think?
Especially when blue-skinned giants and monsters show up and start trying to squish them to get it back.
Maybe we should give them the book, David! The Jolly Green Giant here seems pissed!
But even with everyone ready to jump ship and LEAVE, David is the sole voice of stupidity, insisting that they stay because they still haven't found the good doctor.
Screw the doctor, David. I'm taking my KFC and going HOME.
The rest of the film is spent trying to find out what the book is, what the creatures are, and how to get out of the woods alive. The audience is also subjected to one of the most grotesque kissing (/subtle sexual assault?) scenes ever, made all the worse by it's close up and unnecessarily long length.
Wait, what the hell is he-....Arrrrrgh! My eyes! My eyes!
Equinox was originally a short science fiction film made for a little less than 7K by college student Dennis Muren, who created just about all of the special effects himself.
Some are....better than others. Admittedly this looks better with motion and...you know...more frames.
When the film was picked up for release it was given to editor Jack Woods, who added additional footage to make it feature length.
I wish I had the equipment to pull stuff like this off when I was forced to make my crappy class movie in high school.
It was then picked up
again by another producer, had more footage shot and was finally released in 1970.
Due to their similar plots
Equinox is suspected of having inspired Evil Dead, Tom Sullivan admitting that he'd seen it "at least twice" before making Evil Dead. And it's hard to deny that the similarities are really rather striking.
Except for, you know, the types of special effects used....Evil Dead this ain't.
I viewed this on TCM and, judging by the time, am pretty sure that I saw the feature length version, though both the feature length and the original are available in The Criterion Collection (Yes, it got a Criterion release). After reading up on it, I'm now very interested in seeing Muren's original short, which has been described as a "student art film" but a good student art film.
Just to be clear though, Equinox is not on the same level as Evil Dead. It's certainly an enjoyable one, worthy of a drive-in or late night viewing, but Evil Dead it is not. Still it's an enjoyable film if for no other reason than to see where a classic of horror (most likely) came from and what one can do with some clay and a budget. I shall leave you now with this wholesome parting shot
Sweet Dreams!
But I don't know were it is 
I got it before I moved, but I think it got misplaced during transit. But I know it's here! I'm just....not exactly sure...where....yet.
