Such a strange... date?

[Original_Name]

@Haoie: Huh? No, I was saying things are going great, man.

[Weekend_Warrior]

I'll tell you, guys. I have the most "ass backwards luck" when it comes to dating.

Every time I've gone on a date and thought it went well with lots of smiling, laughing, eye contact and sharing things in common... those are the girls that never message or call me back!

Yet every time I've gone on a date and thought it went extremely bad with no physical attraction, little communication, no humor, and being bored out of mind... those are the girls who message or call me and ask why I haven't kept in touch. Then I'm like... "uh, hello - we are not a good match?"

Makes no sense. Sometimes I actually feel that God does it on purpose, just for a laugh

[Luke]

Yet every time I've gone on a date and thought it went extremely bad with no physical attraction, little communication, no humor, and being bored out of mind...

A philosophy I have never adhered to, but completely believe in, is "treat them like dirt, and they'll stick to you like mud". This works for a lot of my friends, but I just don't like being in any relationship when games are constantly being played. That and, being an asshole on purpose isn't my bag of cheetos.

[Weekend_Warrior]

Yet every time I've gone on a date and thought it went extremely bad with no physical attraction, little communication, no humor, and being bored out of mind...

A philosophy I have never adhered to, but completely believe in, is "treat them like dirt, and they'll stick to you like mud". This works for a lot of my friends, but I just don't like being in any relationship when games are constantly being played. That and, being an asshole on purpose isn't my bag of cheetos.

I agree 100%. I'm not that way either. And yeah, I've heard that expression before. It's strange but somehow true

[Original_Name]

Historically, I've had that problem as well. The way I've come to see it is like this: if you think of most of the guys you've met in your life, you'll probably think that the vast majority of them are fucking tool douchebags. And then out of those non-fucking tool douchebags, a large percentage of them probably still have unrealistic or abstract expectations for their relationships. These flaws or bizarre nuances in character are easier to pick out in other guys than they are to pick out in women, simply because you intrinsically have a better understanding of male psychology. When a guy disgusts you, a big part of the reason is because you could have been that guy had your life and choices been different -- this is much less of a factor when you're analyzing women.

So, essentially what I'm getting at here is that most guys are tool-bags with unrealistic expectations, right? So then wouldn't it logically follow that most girls are masochistic, emotionally insecure, and have poorly organized priorities? It's easier for us to seek out the sadist and pompous qualities associated with maladjusted males, but we're much less apt at identifying their analogues in the opposite sex. The warning flags don't come up immediately -- the giveaways are too subtle for the untrained(/not female) eye. Girls who want a guy who can't control their testosterone are likely unable to control their estrogen, and are compensating in order to force a balance.

Maybe a 21-year-old isn't the wisest source of input on this, but just keep doing what you're doing. Anyone who hits it off with you on a date and then interprets that as grounds to ignore you is by no means worth your time in a relationship -- they would have just driven you crazy eventually anyway. Best of luck, man -- I'll be the first to congratulate you if you're ever on here geeking out about the girl who lifts your "curse".

[Erik_Twice]

I would simply say that there's nothing worse that mindless adoration. The outright rejection of such adoration is so rare and such a curve ball for most women that it's far more interesting than what most guys would call "nice".

The key is, it's not douches what girls like but self-steem, independence, not being incredibly needy, etc. Many semi-experienced guys fall into the trap of being a dick, instead of digging deeper and finding why and how you can improve it.

After all, it has been argued to death that a "nice" guy isn't actually very nice at all so it's not like the downsides matter too much in comparison.

Having a strong sense of self and projecting it is the goal. Why choose? Get the best from both sides!

[Weekend_Warrior]

Historically, I've had that problem as well. The way I've come to see it is like this: if you think of most of the guys you've met in your life, you'll probably think that the vast majority of them are fucking tool douchebags. And then out of those non-fucking tool douchebags, a large percentage of them probably still have unrealistic or abstract expectations for their relationships. These flaws or bizarre nuances in character are easier to pick out in other guys than they are to pick out in women, simply because you intrinsically have a better understanding of male psychology. When a guy disgusts you, a big part of the reason is because you could have been that guy had your life and choices been different -- this is much less of a factor when you're analyzing women.

So, essentially what I'm getting at here is that most guys are tool-bags with unrealistic expectations, right? So then wouldn't it logically follow that most girls are masochistic, emotionally insecure, and have poorly organized priorities? It's easier for us to seek out the sadist and pompous qualities associated with maladjusted males, but we're much less apt at identifying their analogues in the opposite sex. The warning flags don't come up immediately -- the giveaways are too subtle for the untrained(/female) eye. Girls who want a guy who can't control their testosterone are likely unable to control their estrogen, and are compensating in order to force a balance.

Maybe a 21-year-old isn't the wisest source of input on this, but just keep doing what you're doing. Anyone who hits it off with you on a date and then interprets that as grounds to ignore you is by no means worth your time in a relationship -- they would have just driven you crazy eventually anyway. Best of luck, man -- I'll be the first to congratulate you if you're ever on here geeking out about the girl who lifts your "curse".

Thanks. Good post btw