s1mplehumar wrote:
I think a firm-tempered form of discipline (spanking) is more than appropriate - I think it's essential. If you're insinuating my patience runs so thin, that at the drop of a hat I'm ready to thrash a child for so much as spilling their milk...you're mistaken. Certainly there's a time and a place for every thing. A child is just that, a child. A parent needs to exercise his/her authority over the child. I don't believe spanking (in the correct manner) will give the child some sort of inferiority complex, or turn them into an enraged serial killer if the punishment is doled out early, consistently, and in a spirit of loving correction.
Again, I don't expect anyone here to agree with me, and for good reason. That's fine.
First let me state that it doesn't sound like you are anywhere near being like the man in this video that I'm sure the majority of us would consider to be a terrible parent. Nor would I insinuate that spanking creates enraged serial killers. But here's my question for you: If you could raise your kids to be productive, ethical members of society WITHOUT spanking them, wouldn't that be preferable for both them and for you?
Really, spanking is meant to be a tool for disicipline and instruction, but we often confuse it as BEING discipline and instruction when really it is just a tool. There's nothing innately good about spanking beyond that utility. What I'm suggesting, is that you can replace that tool with ones that don't require even mild amounts of violence. In fact, one of the shortcomings of spanking, besides those I elaborated on in my previous post, is that it sends a buried message that it is appropriate to become violent against people that do things we disapprove of, which is something most parents don't want their children to believe.
What I'm trying to explain is that as the field of psychology continues to develop there are more and more options for parenting that have been evaluated. We now know that with the right reinforcement strategies, it is entirely possible to raise your child well without the use of corporal punishment. And isn't that a better world for children and parents alike? And the real seal-to-the-deal is that these methods of parenting actually work BETTER. So I would challenge you to evaluate your own parenting style, to research the tools that are out there and available to parents now, and to just be willing to consider that you might be able to retire the old parenting tools for the new and still get the same, or even better results.
