Thoughts on this parody on Mega Man 2?

[Hobie-wan]

Ok suggestion in a different direction. Need to tame the space you're recording the voice in. There was a bit of an echo. If you're doing this in a home office, maybe at least hang a blanket on a wall or two to keep your voice from bouncing around.

[Luke]

Um, if you do stand up comedy it is only a matter of time before someone tapes you and posts it somewhere on the web (if it is any good, that is). Sounds like a cop out excuse to me...

Oh it's out on the web. The first show I ever did is actually up on youtube, but you have to remember that it's a hobby of mine and some of the things I say could land me in deep trouble with my company. Plus, I don't use monickers or nicknames on line, and since there is only one person in the USA with my name (full name of course) I like to keep this close to my chest.

That said, I have no qualms with letting you guys know when and where I'll be performing (if you plan on recording material, do it secretly or you'll most likely get kicked out of the club with a broken phone. I'm not kidding, the recording restrictions at some clubs are way over the top, but I can't blame 'em).

And off topic again...Man, Dane Cook went from selling out stadiums to being one of the most hated and targeted comedians ever. I'm sure he's laughing all the way to the bank, but I kinda feel sorry for the guy. I mean, even Louis CK feels sorry for Cook, and Cook stole CK's jokes.





Back on topic: Any new reviews John?

[noiseredux]

Oh it's out on the web. The first show I ever did is actually up on youtube, but you have to remember that it's a hobby of mine and some of the things I say could land me in deep trouble with my company. Plus, I don't use monickers or nicknames on line, and since there is only one person in the USA with my name (full name of course) I like to keep this close to my chest.

can we get a youtube link? I'd like to watch.

And off topic again...Man, Dane Cook went from selling out stadiums to being one of the most hated and targeted comedians ever. I'm sure he's laughing all the way to the bank, but I kinda feel sorry for the guy. I mean, even Louis CK feels sorry for Cook, and Cook stole CK's jokes.

I don't really get the hate. I mean yeah he's certainly the "frat comedian" or whatever. But whatever. I laugh.

[Luke]

I don't really get the hate. I mean yeah he's certainly the "frat comedian" or whatever. But whatever. I laugh.

For sure Cook is funny, and has some incredible material but I bet you dollars to donuts the Dane Cook Hate started with a backlash from people he worked with. I think it was a "kiss-ass/talk shit" situation with most of the people he was surrounded by.

Have you watched FUNNY PEOPLE? In my very limited experience, that's exactly how professional comedians act. Tight-knit groups of friends, but they always welcome new comers. Everyone however is very protective of their own material, and stealing someone's joke can start a backlash quickly. Cook also apparently started treating younger comedians and his staff pretty crumby. The entertainment industry started not to like him, (well, EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH didn't help him either), and then the public agreed.

[noiseredux]

I thought Funny People was great actually. I'm a big Sandler fan. Lots of great talent in that movie. I love Aziz. I love Plaza. (Parks & Rec rules). But the whole cast was great.

Yr probably right about the backlash. BTW did you watch that Cook documentary that shows the whole thing about him and Chappelle doing their back and forth record-breaking sets? So interesting.

[elmagicochrisg]

I don't care if he steals jokes or says bad things about other comedians.

I don't like Dane Cook because he's just not funny.

This guy does a perfect DC impressination.

Dane cook parody

Now that's hilarious !!!

[alienjesus]

I had no idea who Dane Cook was, but havign just watched some of his stuff, it amazes me how popular he seems to be. It felt to me like he was just...saying things. Not particularly funny things. Just stuff. I kept waiting for some sort of punchline, but it never came.

[Luke]

Dane Cook can control an audience and be funny PROOF!

Daniel Tosh uses the exact same inflection and delivery as Cook. Just realized that. I think Cook and Tosh are in the same boat as Silverman. It's almost a "How can this foul stuff come from someone so innocent looking?".

[Erik_Twice]

Have to say, I don't think it's very good. I can see some solid production and goal-seeking however!


I think the main flaw of the short is that you explain the joke. It strikes me as the short is afraid of the audience and never works for it's own sake. When Megaman is thrown (moved?) towards the pit he says "Are you even listening to me?". That was the joke, that the player wasn't listening and you spell it out. That's something to avoid.

I also don't think the initial tirade about how Megaman is supposed to cross the beams is very fun. It doesn't build any meaning to the "he gets killed" punchline so all the time he is talking I'm not having any fun. I think that funny is not a moment but a continuity. The frame of mind you set into the viewer with that tirade is not funny so when you get to the punchline you don't really have a lot of fun.

In other words, you have to build expectation before the gag and keep it, don't defuse it by explaining what's happening.


Megaman's frustration is not quite developed. It's thrown too fast to the viewer, he gets angry from a moment to the other and that feels forced. Scalating several gags would not only make for a more smooth experience but it would also make each subsequent gag funnier.

On a side not, the mood of "shit, shit, shit" is opposed to the mood of "here it cooomes" and that doesn't feel quite right. From the top of my head, Megaman almost getting there while saying something like "I'm passing, I'm passing" would be a better fit than to get scared. It would build on the "shit, shit" gag and would establish a genuine source of frustration for Megaman.


After getting killed Megaman goes on a tirade again. I can see how you wanted to make it but it's not quite right. He should show more of himself, share more of his personal frustration with the audience and why he is unable to cope with it. Just being frustrated isn't funny!

I think that when Megaman asks for the controller you fall into telling instead of showing. You haven't showed us his frustration or anger so when he asks for the "fucking controller" you don't see Megaman but the artist who made the short. (BTW don't bleep, that explains the joke)

The timing and development from frustration to anger and to that ego-filled state is not right, it's quite forced. You tell us "He feels like the man now" but you don't convey why that's important to him or use that to build inevitability when he gets killed again.

I would cut the last gag or rebuild it. We know that he got killed and that he can't justify it so a one-liner won't make the cut. The audience needs something stronger that brings the short together and builds a gag beyond it's expectations.


In the end I would carefully think about the overall construction of the short and what each gag means. A good watch would be Chuck Jones' DUCK AMUCK (1951), which is probably one of the best comedies of frustration ever made. It may seem unfair to compare your work to a well-known masterpiece of animation but I think that if you realy want to improve you should always learn from the best.

It's not a shallow recommendation, it was really what was hovering in my head when I wrote this. The frustration build-up, the radiography of Daffy and the looming inevitability of failure can be tracked one by one to the scenes of your short and compared. Even the ending should be quite revealing as it goes above the audience expectations not by saying "hey, the animator was Bugs" but by acknowledging the fact that Daffy was never a match that he was a puppet of comedy.


Well, it's a quite long post. Sorry if it sounds too harsh or it's too in-depth for what you are looking for but alas, I have too much free time. Hope you keep improving!

[elmagicochrisg]

I had no idea who Dane Cook was, but havign just watched some of his stuff, it amazes me how popular he seems to be. It felt to me like he was just...saying things. Not particularly funny things. Just stuff. I kept waiting for some sort of punchline, but it never came.

Exactly, thank you...