Disabled Gaming

[The Last Horseman]

I am very sorry to hear this, I'm not really sure what to say. It's sad to see a fellow gamer not being able to game, and a fellow man having to suffer throughout life.

I have an Englishmen's knot in my hand, and it makes it hard for me to type sometimes, and I have trouble holding some types of controllers. I can get mine temporarily fixed until I'm 21, afterwhich I can get it fixed for about ten years at a time. I know it doesn't compare to yours, I just want to say I can somewhat understand what your going through. When I was little and I couldn't play N64 because of my hand, it made me really sad. But then my cousin bought a Hori Pad, and I could hold that, and I loved any similar type of controller ever since.

[Damm64]

I gotta be honest and say that I respect and admire your strength. That's gotta be a really hard thing to live with.

I share Inazuma's condolences. I hope things somehow get better for you in the future.

I share the same opinion. I found amazing how you live you're live so happy and other people complain about little things.

You say that the original XBOX controller was good right? You can chip your XBOX and play some emulator's (there's a lot of RPG games on older consoles) and also work as a multimedia device.

[TornadoCreator]

I gotta be honest and say that I respect and admire your strength. That's gotta be a really hard thing to live with.

I share Inazuma's condolences. I hope things somehow get better for you in the future.

I share the same opinion. I found amazing how you live you're live so happy and other people complain about little things.

You say that the original XBOX controller was good right? You can chip your XBOX and play some emulator's (there's a lot of RPG games on older consoles) and also work as a multimedia device.

It's a nice sentiment, and it's nice to see so many people being supportive but I'm hardy an inspirational story, I'm sure I've snapped at people or bitten peoples heads off here. I tend to have a short temper and I can be quite uncaring when responding to people, especially online. The frustration and pain often tends to get the better of me, to a lot of people I come across as a very angry and tense person and it causes a lot of tension especially with people who are only really aquaintences rather than friends.

As for the Xbox, honestly, I'm using it more as a DVD player at the moment. I'm working though my PS2 library, playing a few old favourites and a few I never got around to playing the first time round. I'm not normally one for using chipped consoles but I'll keep it in mind.

[Key-Glyph]

Hey TornadoCreator, thanks for sharing your stories. My heart goes out to you.

I read the book Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks: an epic quest for reality among role players, online gamers, and other dwellers of imaginary realms by Ethan Gilsdorf. Although it's not my favorite book on nerd culture, he dedicates an entire chapter to researching a woman with a disease -- I can't remember which one, but it severely impaired her movements like yours does -- who finds solace in World of Warcraft. You might want to pick up a copy; that one chapter alone is worth it. Here's an excerpt:

"As we spoke, it was hard not to be shaken by Nissa Ludwig's story. 'Sometimes just bending down and picking up stuff...' she began, then paused. 'I bend down and pick stuff up in-game just as well as you.' Games give disabled people a new social life, new social skills, a new home, and a new way to interact. 'I don't even think game designers know what they are doing. ...I'm sitting here almost in tears because they gave that back to me. To have that taken away and have it back... "(215).

I am not afflicted to the same degree that you are, but I was diagnosed with migraine headaches when I was fourteen and they became chronic in my very early twenties. Migraines are a full-body experience: my speech slurs, I have trouble finding words, I feel nauseated and occasionally vomit, my motor skills become impaired, my muscle tone falls to a point where it's sometimes too much effort to simply sit upright or hold something in my hand without dropping it, I can't endure light and noises at normal levels -- and all this is augmented by the incredible pain of the headache itself. These attacks last for days, with varying degrees of intensity cycling throughout. I take daily preventative medication to lessen their frequency as well as "rescue" medication to help soften the attacks as they happen... but so much of the condition is simply gritting your teeth in a dark, quiet room and riding it out.

What I would have done without hand-held Pokémon games to distract me during these times, I couldn't say. Reading and playing video games are two of the only activities I can pursue when I have a migraine. I love my DS Lite in particular because I don't have to sit up to play it, I can adjust the brightness of the screen to a point I can manage, I can play with all the other lights out in a room, and I can snap it into sleep mode instantly when I've exhausted myself. And with pokémon requiring absolutely no hand-eye coordination, it makes me glad there are 600+ monsters to waste my time on.

I recommend Pokémon Heartgold or Soulsilver, if you haven't played them. Good luck with everything! Also, I hope you have loved ones who help you and support you. If I didn't have such a loving husband, my situation would be infinitely more difficult.

[TornadoCreator]

I understand entirely what you go though, it always annoyed me when people say "I'm getting a migraine" in TV shows because they have no idea what a true migraine is like.

One of the symptoms of EDS is that the skull puts pressure on the brain stem which causes the cerebelum to drop, this can in some cases require surgery. For me it's given me severe migraines since I was 5 years old. At my worst, I was getting them once per month, when I was about 17, now it's much less with me only having 4 migraines in the last 12 months, and 2 of those lasted only hours rather than days as I was able to get to my medication early and isolate myself in my bedroom.

I too know the joy of Pokemon when you're in that recovery stage. You're over the worst of the migraine but you know you're not quite ready for walking and talking at the same time yet. You're still a solid 8-10 hours away from there... but hey you're not shaking, sobbing and throwing up anymore so that's a win. At that point my Gameboy Advance SP was my friend. I actually had Pokemon Crystal for Gameboy Colour and then I switched to the Golden Sun games on Gameboy Advance. I also occationally used my PSOne with the LCD screen. It had brightness settings so I could have it very low. I found Final Fantasy VIII (my favourite game of all time) was a good game for migraine recovery... I could spend hours just playing the Triple Triad card game. For me when I had a migraine I found that for a lot of the time light would be too much for me to bare, so much so that I couldn't even handle an LED on in the room and I have full black-out curtains. For those times I found talk radio, comedy channels specifically, where the best way to keep my mind off the pain.

I'm sorry to hear you suffer as you do, if you're still having trouble with migraines I suggest Amitriptyline as a preventative. It's pretty effective although it can make you a little light headed. I also recommend Co-codamol as an effective painkiller. You want to get the 30mg Codine, 500mg Paracetamol tablets if you can but they're not usually avaliable over the counter so you'll need to bug your doctor for a perscription. If you're in USA though you're lucky because they only used 300mg Paracetamol so you can take a double dose of the over the counter 15mg Codine tablets without too much of an issue. (In USA they're called the Tylenol 2 Atasol Codeine tablets... DO NOT EVER double up on Tylenol 3 Atasol Codeine you will overdose).

I just want to stress, even though I'm giving this advice, I'm not a doctor. Take my advice at your own risk, you know your bodies better than I do and if you take a bunch of tablets and keel over and die, I'm not cleaning it up... just so we're all clear.

Thanks for sharing anyway Key-Glyph, it's good to hear you've got ways of coping and I hope your next migraine is an uneventful 6 hour mild groan rather than the full blown 2+ day event, after all it's always nice when that happens. It feels like you beaten the migraine at it's own game and somehow you're all the more stronger for it.

[Pabstblueribbon]

I have tendinitis in my left arm that can cause swelling/stiffness/numbness. I got this from playing drums, but it definitely effects my gaming. I cant play any games on the playstation that are Dpad heavy because of the placement, for whatever reason it makes my hand sore and eventually my thumb just gets incredibly stiff. You can get this from repeated motion (such as hitting drums over and over) and its a huge bummer. I dont get this with any other controller oddly enough. if i play the xbox for like 10 hours straight it starts to bug me, but the PS controller it takes about 10 minutes of heavy Dpad gaming to start.

I find this thread very interesting and inspiring, and definitely makes me appreciate being able to game how I do a lot more.

[Key-Glyph]

I too know the joy of Pokemon when you're in that recovery stage. You're over the worst of the migraine but you know you're not quite ready for walking and talking at the same time yet. You're still a solid 8-10 hours away from there... but hey you're not shaking, sobbing and throwing up anymore so that's a win.

You understand so completely! I only wish you didn't have to gain the knowledge through experience.

It saddens me that you have to deal with migraines on top of your EDS, since just one or the other is difficult enough as it is. It's nice to know, though, that there's someone else out there who gets this concept, who is helped by video games in a similar way.

I've been guided by neurologists since I was diagnosed and we went through almost every sort of medication to find the right ones, so I'm confident with what I'm taking. I appreciate your wanting to help, though -- and many thanks for the well-wishes, too. I've got a decent handle on things these days. Instead of the crushing attacks I frequently had in my college days, I tend to have softer, but more prolonged, episodes. Honestly I'm not sure which I'd rather have in general: more rapid/more intense, or more sluggish/gentle... but the latter allows me to work a regular job like a normal person, and that's the priority at the moment.

All the best!

[Siren]

I admire your strength, TornadoCreator. I can say that I at least know a small fraction of what it's like to suffer for a long period of time.

I grew up with Tourette's Syndrome and OCD, and I would mutilate my face and body until it felt "right". I can understand how hard it might be for many people to see the rationality in this. Sometimes, it would keep me up all night and I would hope that the impulse would end so I can get some sleep. If I ignored the urge, then I would go insane. The vocal aspect of the disease (I think it's called palallia or something) was nothing compared to this.

Then I overcame it, developed into a handsome man with lots of friends. Life was good until I had a most extreme episode of psychosis, which as fate would have it turned out to be the onset of a disease that I never would have imagined was in my genetic makeup from birth: bipolar disorder. Miserable seems like such a tame, tranquil, insufficient word to describe what I felt for months. I witnessed hell first hand, with my mind as the terrorist and myself as the hostage. I had noticed that I was incapable of crying and dry of emotion like a desert of water. I wanted to badly, though.

But life moves on. I was fortunate enough to be born into an era that has the medical advances strong enough to help me to wrestle with this and win. I am multi-talented, happy, and hopeful of the future, even if I sometimes doubt myself.

The world is a messed up place. But it is equally as beautiful of one. I wish you the best of luck.

[TornadoCreator]

It's nice to know you feel you can share that Siren. It's not easy to cope with physical issues, and especially with me as I have an "invisible illness" as it's called because to look at me I don't look disabled. That said it's clear if you're around me that this is real and I can get help even if it takes a while.

Mental and psychological disorders are no less real than physical disorders, they're just easier to ignore, dismiss and more importantly misunderstand for the outsider. I honestly don't think I could handle not having control over my emotions, (although some claim I don't as I'm very volatile and angry... my answer, so would you be if you had my pain, I'm perfectly normal). It's good to see you're coping and I wish you the best.

Remember people, there's nothing in life you can't handle with just a little perseverance, except a rash... for that you're better off with ointment.

[Czernobog]

I have also suffered from migraines to the extent where I have had to lock myself away in a silent, dark room, and wait out the searing pain. The throbbing, nausea, and sensitivity to light are the worst for me. Noise is bothersome, but I grew up in a very loud home and learned to use ear plugs or distraction to help with that. Luckily, my episodes have almost never lasted more than a few hours. Only once did I have a migraine for over a day. It was less painful than the shorter ones, but towards the end of the migraine I began shaking severely and slurring my words.

Anyways, back-lights in handheld gaming have been a Godsend, especially with the ability to adjust the brightness. RPGs with save anywhere added in like the FF1 and 2 remakes are great because as long as I'm outside a battle I can just save and put them down if playing starts to increase the pain or make me dizzy. I just recently picked up a GBA SP to play my older GB games with a back-light. I do take medicine whenever I feel a migraine coming on, but it doesn't always work.