A man hits a woman with his car. Who's fault is it?
Obviously the mans. You shouldn't be driving a car in the kitchen.
Joke Thread
Re: Joke Thread
I feel old when talking to anyone my age yet too inexperienced to effectively talk to anyone older. Life is grand that way.
My twitter handle is @EckoExplores
My twitter handle is @EckoExplores
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YoshiEgg25
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 4337
- Joined: Tue Aug 24, 2010 10:26 pm
- Location: Madison, WI
- Contact:
Re: Joke Thread (post your jokes here)
Luke wrote: "Are you wearing space pants, because if so I'd return them as you are not floating"
Gaming accomplishments:
Nibbler (marathon): 251,169,160 / Nibbler (one life): 5,263,360 (WR)
Donkey Kong: 423,100 [L12-1] (150th place as of 2019-01-15)
Super Smash Bros. (N64): Ranked top 5 in Wisconsin from Q1 2016 to Q2 2017
Shrek SuperSlam: won largest tournament in game's history (Shrekfest 2018)
Speedrun.com Profile (contains multiple WRs)
Nibbler (marathon): 251,169,160 / Nibbler (one life): 5,263,360 (WR)
Donkey Kong: 423,100 [L12-1] (150th place as of 2019-01-15)
Super Smash Bros. (N64): Ranked top 5 in Wisconsin from Q1 2016 to Q2 2017
Shrek SuperSlam: won largest tournament in game's history (Shrekfest 2018)
Speedrun.com Profile (contains multiple WRs)
Re: Joke Thread
^Nice.
Last night I hung out with some funny people and literally just wrote jokes and drank for hours until about 2am (also beat tmnt arcade which is always fun). You can write great material this way, but you also lose a lot of great jokes because you drink too much and you can't even read your own handwriting. But I digress.
<snip, oh snap! Spaceballs is on VH1 right now>
.
We ended up crafting a character, who doesn't have a name, but does have a wife named Carol. His voice is scratchy, and sounds a lot like the Gay Jewish character in the movie INDEPENDENCE DAY. We did kind of a roundtable thing where every joke started out with "Carol!", which sounds more like "CARE-HOL!". There were a lot of jokes that bombed; bad jokes that we probably laughed at more than the good ones.
I only have two jokes that are legible, but I'm sure I'll remember more as the day goes on. Keep in mind these are character jokes, so the delivery is really lost in online translation.
"CAROL! Jesus Christ Carol, this tastes awful. It's not Hamburger Miracle, it's Hamburger Helper'"
"Carol! Would ya shut up for one second? You'd be the worlds best back seat driver... if I was driving a hearse".
There was a funny one about being use more than a RedBox, but I forget the context and punchline. So although these jokes may not be knee slappers on paper, they still have a good premise. And all that said (and I realize I'm blabbering) I would encourage everyone, funny or not, to spend at least one night of your life with friends just trying to write jokes or create characters. I promise you'll have more fun than you would think.
Last night I hung out with some funny people and literally just wrote jokes and drank for hours until about 2am (also beat tmnt arcade which is always fun). You can write great material this way, but you also lose a lot of great jokes because you drink too much and you can't even read your own handwriting. But I digress.
<snip, oh snap! Spaceballs is on VH1 right now>
.
We ended up crafting a character, who doesn't have a name, but does have a wife named Carol. His voice is scratchy, and sounds a lot like the Gay Jewish character in the movie INDEPENDENCE DAY. We did kind of a roundtable thing where every joke started out with "Carol!", which sounds more like "CARE-HOL!". There were a lot of jokes that bombed; bad jokes that we probably laughed at more than the good ones.
I only have two jokes that are legible, but I'm sure I'll remember more as the day goes on. Keep in mind these are character jokes, so the delivery is really lost in online translation.
"CAROL! Jesus Christ Carol, this tastes awful. It's not Hamburger Miracle, it's Hamburger Helper'"
"Carol! Would ya shut up for one second? You'd be the worlds best back seat driver... if I was driving a hearse".
There was a funny one about being use more than a RedBox, but I forget the context and punchline. So although these jokes may not be knee slappers on paper, they still have a good premise. And all that said (and I realize I'm blabbering) I would encourage everyone, funny or not, to spend at least one night of your life with friends just trying to write jokes or create characters. I promise you'll have more fun than you would think.
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StephPlusPlus
- 8-bit
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:47 pm
- Location: Kentucky
Re: Joke Thread
My favorite pickup line...
"Are you a farmer? 'Cause you sure know how to raise cocks."
"Are you a farmer? 'Cause you sure know how to raise cocks."
Steph++: More than incrementally superior to Steph 2.0
Own Gameboy Pocket | Gameboy Color | Gameboy Advance | Gameboy Advance SP | DS | DS Lite | 3DS | NES
Want SNES | Genesis | N64
Own Gameboy Pocket | Gameboy Color | Gameboy Advance | Gameboy Advance SP | DS | DS Lite | 3DS | NES
Want SNES | Genesis | N64
Re: Joke Thread
StephPlusPlus wrote:My favorite pickup line...
"Are you a farmer? 'Cause you sure know how to raise cocks."
Brilliant.
GameSack wrote:That's right, only Sega had the skill to make a proper Nintendo game.
Re: Joke Thread
Do you guys want to hear a joke about my penis? ...aw, never mind, it's too long.
My contributions to the Racketboy site:
Browser Games ... Free PC Games ... Mixtapes ... Doujin Games ... SotC Poetry
Browser Games ... Free PC Games ... Mixtapes ... Doujin Games ... SotC Poetry
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littlecallen
- 16-bit
- Posts: 91
- Joined: Sat Sep 11, 2010 10:22 am
- Location: Where I'm at son
Re: Joke Thread
So a baby seal walks into a club.
Why did Kevin Flynn blare Journey so loud in his arcade? Was he trying to hear it from the grid?
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AznKhmerBoi
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 2574
- Joined: Sun Jan 31, 2010 11:04 am
- Location: Pennsylvania
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elmagicochrisg
- Next-Gen
- Posts: 5048
- Joined: Sat Nov 13, 2010 4:18 pm
- Location: In my own little world...
Re: Joke Thread
Dreamcast DUX Limited Edition for sale (new, odorless and sealed)
All forum members are equal. But some are more equal than others. - George Orwell
Re: Joke Thread
It's not a joke, but it sure made me laugh...
While watching CAPTAIN AMERICA my wife asked, "So what did they do? Put him in a sexy capsule?".
While watching CAPTAIN AMERICA my wife asked, "So what did they do? Put him in a sexy capsule?".